Complete works of eloquence

It seems simple to say, but it is not easy. It can be said, but it can't be said that it is very different. The following is some information I have compiled for your

It seems simple to say, but it is not easy. It can be said, but it can't be said that it is very different. The following is some information I have compiled for your reference.

The first realm: open your mouth to kill.

The so-called open mouth to kill people means that opening your mouth will hurt people. In this world, there is a kind of person who speaks bluntly and speaks freely. We call such people gun barrels. People who speak with this kind of gun often don't think seriously, and say whatever they want, regardless of the occasion and place, regardless of men, women and children, not to mention whether their words will be accepted by the other party. They can shoot if they want. Although they are happy, they hurt many people's feelings intentionally or unintentionally. A gun is not the same as being straightforward. Although straightforward people don't beat around the bush, they never cheat or play tricks on others' hearts. A careless person is just talking nonsense and attacking others irresponsibly, regardless of influence. This kind of person only cares about the pain and happiness in his mouth, regardless of the pain in others' hearts.

When a gun says hurtful things, there are two consequences when you meet different people. If the injured person is a very cultured person, he will generally be ignored and will not have knowledge with him. But in the subsequent relationship, we often take an evasive attitude. But if the injured person is a serious or bad-tempered person, he often has an argument with the shooter and becomes an enemy. The so-called enemies should make up, but they should not be married. However, this way of speaking, there will only be two results when you open your mouth: either you miss a real friend or you gain an enemy for no reason.

The second realm: opening your mouth is annoying.

A joke goes like this: A slightly fat woman walks into a clothing store, and the salesgirl says to her, Aunt, you are too fat, and we have no clothes for you to wear. The lady was about to retort when she added, Actually, it's better to be fat when you are old. This woman is very angry. She doesn't know how to get angry. At this time, the proprietress came out from behind, and the lady immediately complained: Who did I provoke today? How did I get into the store? Your staff said I was fat and old. The proprietress was embarrassed to apologize quickly, but it was a second injury, because she said: our shop assistant is from the countryside and can't talk, but he is telling the truth.

People who speak straight are telling the truth, but they are also easy to hurt people. In real life, many people are outspoken, have no talent and never beat around the bush. Sometimes such a person will be very popular because people think he is straightforward and easy to associate with, but sometimes such a person is also a headache because he always hurts others unintentionally and often makes people feel embarrassed unconsciously. Blame him, he didn't mean it; You don't blame him, do you? He has annoyed you many times. Such a guy is really a headache.

Kou Zhun in the Northern Song Dynasty suffered from outspoken remarks. History as a Mirror records a story: At a dinner party, Kou Zhun's beard was accidentally stained with soup, and Ding Wei stood up in the Song Dynasty and slowly cleaned it for him. Kou Zhun sarcastically said, as the Secretary of State, you wipe the beard for the leader? Ding Wei hated Kou Zhun from the Song Dynasty. Kou Zhun's words seem to be a joke, but in fact they are too straightforward and ironic. Since then, Ding Wei Song Dynasty has made every effort to vilify Kou Zhun, and made an alliance with Wang Qinruo, Cao Liyong and other officials who were also insulted, satirized and sarcastic by Kou Zhun. * * * dealt with him and often spoke ill of Kou Zhun in front of the emperor. Finally, even the emperor felt that Kou Zhun could not speak, and Kou Zhun's political life ended, and he was exiled again and again until he died in Leizhou. The root of Kou Zhun's tragedy is that he didn't keep his mouth shut and spoke too straight.

Maybe you will say, I am straightforward, and I really hate beating around the bush. If you are usually too outspoken, here is a way to teach you: before you speak, try to ask yourself three questions: is it true, is it kind, and is it necessary? These three questions are what Buddhism calls three doors. The function of asking these questions can at least give yourself a little time to think before you speak, and this short time is enough to save you a lot of trouble.

The third realm: opening your mouth to serve people.

There is a story in "The Warring States Policy" that "touching the dragon to show the queen". It is said that as soon as Empress Zhao came to power, the State of Qin rushed to attack Zhao. At a critical juncture, Zhao had to ask Qi for help, but Qi put forward the rescue conditions and made Chang Chang a hostage in Qi. Empress Zhao, who dotes on her children and lacks political foresight, refused to agree to this condition, and the minister tried his best to dissuade her, which made the Empress Dowager furious. "If there is a reply from the hostage, the old lady will spit in her face." Faced with this situation, Zuo, who is well versed in the art of speaking, did not blindly comment on the dragon like other courtiers, but observed and acted in front of the camera. He knew that Empress Zhao had just come to power, lacked political experience and was short-sighted. Coupled with women's unique psychology of doting on children, it is difficult for Queen Zhao to accept any questions about hostages in a rage, which is counterproductive.

Therefore, he didn't mention Chang Zaiqi's hostage-taking, but changed the subject. Ask the queen mother about food, clothing, housing and transportation first, then talk about Aiko, and finally talk about the succession to the throne. Unconsciously, the queen mother's anger completely disappeared. She suddenly repented, understood the truth of loving children, and happily arranged to often go to Qi as a hostage.

In fact, no matter how high the speaking skills are, they are no higher than the word "reason". Speech must be reasonable, acceptable, credible and impeccable. Moved by the dragon's words, Empress Zhao was finally convinced that she was willing to arrange to be a hostage in Qi. The key is that he can convince people by reasoning on the basis of feelings. Who doesn't love their children? If you love children, you should think long-term for them, so that they can have a foundation, not just relying on power and parents. From the perspective of objective facts, touch the dragon step by step, beat about the bush, make it clear from the facts, and make it clear from the facts. All the conversations were silent, but they didn't make the hostages silent. The twists and turns show the mystery of language, and persuasion highlights the inevitability of things.

The fourth realm: opening makes people happy.

When a person speaks with his life. People in this realm rarely say and don't need to say anything. You're only with him. Stop. He didn't say anything. He didn't make a sound But in your later days, you will find that he actually said a lot. In fact, he is not far away from convincing people by reasoning, but the former is tied up and the latter is given away for free. You don't know when and what you got. By the time you know that you have benefited a lot and want to thank him, he has just drifted away. Even he doesn't intend to give you anything, and he doesn't even know what he gave you, so you can take all this as your own feeling. This is like a good movie. Everyone will have different feelings and experiences after watching it, but these feelings and principles of being a man are not imposed on you in the movie.

The highest state of speaking is "the unity of man and nature". A real master should communicate with you from a deep spiritual level, which is an emotional communication. The language at this time may be the most common and inconspicuous, but it is also the most simple and touching. As the saying goes, true water has no fragrance, and true love has no trace. This seems to be a state of returning to nature. Perhaps his language, although obviously not fancy at all, can be directly rooted in people's hearts and can be properly expressed without unnecessary details. They are experienced, highly cultivated, smart and can push others. Their words are based on their own accumulation and promotion, which can make people around them listen and believe. In short, others are willing to listen to anything.