My parents-in-law always shirk their responsibilities and don’t take care of the children. Do I want a divorce?

No. Your marriage to your husband has nothing to do with your parents-in-law. You need to change your mentality. It is a duty for the parents-in-law not to take care of the children, but it is a matter of affection for the parents-in-law to take care of them. Some people also say that the elderly help their children take care of their children, which is China’s national condition for thousands of years and has been like this since ancient times.

1. Don’t be too demanding whether your parents-in-law take care of the children or not. If you are too demanding, you may be disappointed.

In fact, there is some truth in the saying "It is a duty for parents-in-law not to take care of children, but it is a matter of affection to take care of them." Parents help them take care of their children, which is a kind of kindness they show to the young couple, and they will have to repay this kindness in the future! After all, children are their own responsibility, not their parents’. Parents have raised their children and should be able to enjoy their retirement life. Don’t kidnap their old age with their children!

But the average Chinese family needs two people to work to support one child. If the child has no one to take care of him, he will inevitably take care of it himself. Before the child is three years old, only one person in the family may work to support the family. This would be very difficult for the economy. Therefore, many young couples seek help from their parents.

2. If your parents-in-law are willing to take care of you, you should be grateful.

Nothing is taken for granted. Different parenting concepts and different living habits will cause conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If financial conditions permit, parents should try to take them at sea by themselves. It is still the parents' responsibility to educate their children. They should not complain about the elderly because of their age, bad habits, poor academic performance, etc.

If the elderly are willing to take care of the children, please try your best to take care of the children yourself. The elderly still need to rest at night and on weekends. Taking care of children is really tiring. Please discuss your parenting philosophy with the elderly. If we really can't talk about it together, we can either keep it until it closes our eyes, or we can bring it ourselves, or if that doesn't work, we can send it to a nursery.

3. If the elderly’s physical and family conditions permit, they can help take care of their children.

For common dual-income families, who will take care of the children after maternity leave has become an inevitable topic. The result is nothing more than two people, one is the nanny and the other is the parents-in-law. Not to mention how ridiculously expensive a nanny is, anyone who has experienced it knows that finding a good nanny is more difficult than finding a good husband. A 4-5 month old child is left to be taken care of by a complete stranger. , indeed a little worried. If the elderly retire at home, helping to take care of their children would of course be an ideal choice.

Children have to be taken care of after all. As an old man, you should lend a hand to help your son’s family when they need it. When different ideas collide, it may be inevitable that there will be conflicts in the family. This requires mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to be tolerant and tolerant to each other. Of course, children are born to parents. As parents, even though there are old people around, we must never let go of our children. We must focus on our children during our time outside of work, insist on effectively accompanying our children, and establish a good parent-child relationship.