Full marks kneel for super funny English jokes. . 、、

One student asked another, "How is your English class?"

"Very well. I didn't understand English men before, but now English men don't understand me. "

progress

One student said to another, "How have you been learning English recently?"

"Very well, I didn't understand English in the past, but now the British don't understand me."

Half or five tenths?

Teacher: Would you rather have half an orange or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd rather have that half

Teacher: Think it over and tell me why.

Gerald: Because when you cut an orange into five tenths, you will lose too much juice.

Half or five tenths?

Teacher: Would you rather eat half a citrus or five tenths?

Gerald: I'd rather have half.

Teacher: Think it over and tell me why.

Gerald: Because if you cut oranges into five tenths, you will lose too much juice.

Go to heaven

Sunday school teacher: Hands up if you want to go to heaven? Hands up ... What about you, Terry? You didn't raise your hand-don't you want to go to heaven?

Terry: I can't. My mother told me to go straight home.

go to heaven―die

Sunday school teacher: If you want to go to heaven, please raise your hand. . . What about you, Harry? You haven't raised your hand-don't you want to go to heaven?

Harry: I can't go because my mother told me to go home as soon as school was over.

How many rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I give you three rabbits and give you five the next day, how many rabbits do you have?

Jonathan: Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I already have one, sir.

How many rabbits?

Teacher: OK, Jonathan, if I give you three rabbits and I give you five the next day, how many rabbits do you have?

Jonathan: One * * * has nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I already have one, sir.

essay

The teacher assigned his students a composition entitled "A cricket match". Two minutes later, Simon Steele handed in his paper and was allowed to go home. His article wrote: "The rain stopped the game."

composition

The teacher gave the students a composition topic: "A cricket match". In two minutes, Simon. Steele handed in his composition and the teacher allowed him to go home. He wrote in his composition: "It's raining, and the game is over."

Who discovered Australia?

Teacher: Johnny, find Australia for me on the map.

Johnny: There it is, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Sammy, who discovered Australia?

Sam: Johnny, sir.

Who discovered Australia?

Teacher: Johnny, find out where Australia is on the map for me.

Johnny: Here it is, sir.

Teacher: That's right. Who discovered Australia in summer?

Summer: I'm Johnny, sir.

lightning

Teacher: Why is it said that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice?

Roy: Because once hit, the same place will no longer exist!

lightning

Teacher: Why does lightning never strike the same place twice?

Roy: Because once it hits a place, that place doesn't exist.

The climate of New Zealand

Teacher: Matthew, what's the climate like in New Zealand?

Matthew: Very cold, sir.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! The meat they send us is always frozen!

The climate of New Zealand

Teacher: Matthew, what's the climate like in New Zealand?

Matthew: Sir, the weather there is very cold.

Teacher: Wrong.

Matthew: But, sir! The pork shipped from there is frozen hard.

My sister's finger

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?

Kevin: Please, sir, I hurt two fingers while hammering nails at home.

Teacher: I don't see any bandages.

Kevin: Oh, that's not my finger! I told my little sister to hold the nail.

My sister's finger

Teacher: Kevin, why are you late again this time?

Kevin: Sorry, sir. I nailed a nail at home and broke two fingers.

Teacher: Why is there no bandage?

Kevin: Oh, that's not my finger. I told my little sister to hold the nail.

Except music.

An enthusiastic young teacher wanted to introduce the brilliance of classical music to her students, so she arranged an outing for an afternoon concert. To make this occasion more memorable, she invited everyone to drink lemonade, eat cake, eat chocolate and ice cream. When the group returned to their carriage, she said to little Sally, "Did you have a good time today?"

"Oh, yes, miss!" Sally said, "It's so cute. Apart from music, this is. "

Except music.

An enthusiastic young teacher wanted her students to know more about excellent classical music, so she arranged to go to a concert one afternoon. In order to leave a deeper impression on everyone, she invited everyone to drink lemonade, eat snacks, eat chocolate and ice cream. When everyone came back to get on the bus, she asked little Sally, "Did you have a good time today?"

"Oh, great, miss," said Sally. "Everything is fine except music."

The plural form of "child"

Teacher: Tom, what is the plural form of man?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good. What about the plural form of children?

Tom: Twins.

The plural form of "child"

Teacher: Tom, what is the plural form of the word man?

Tom: Men.

Teacher: Good answer. How about the plural form of "child"?

Tom: Twins.

When do people talk the least?

Student A: When do people talk the least?

Student B: February.

Student A: Why?

Student B: Because February is the shortest month in a year.

When do people talk the least?

Student A: When do people talk the least?

Student B: February.

Student A: Why?

Student B: Because February is the shortest month in a year.

The reason for being late

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late every morning?

Johnny: Every time I pass the corner near the school, a street sign says' School-Go Slow'.

The reason for being late

Teacher: Johnny, why are you late every morning?

Johnny: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a street sign that says "School-Go Slow".