A joke

After dinner jokes, the latest five jokes.

1. A nun went to the priest to confess: "Father, please forgive me for insulting someone yesterday."

Father: "What did you scold him?"

Sister: "I call him' holy shit'."

Father: "Why did you scold him? Tell me, and I will ask God to forgive you. "

Sister: "She touched my chest."

(The priest puts his hand into the nun's chest): "Is that so?"

Sister: "Yes."

Father: "Even if he touched your chest, you shouldn't scold him."

Sister: "But then he knocked me down."

(The priest touches the nun): "Really?"

Sister: "Yes."

Father: "Even if he touches you, you shouldn't scold him."

Sister: "but then he pushed me to the ground, qj me."

(The priest presses the nun to the ground, and qj kills the nun ...): "Really?"

Sister: "Yes."

Father: "Even if his qj loves you, you shouldn't scold him."

Sister: "But later, he told me that he had AIDS."

............

Father: "Holy cow!" "

2. A man travels to a Muslim country.

One night, I went to a secret brothel and paid 500 yuan. Just about to have a big fight, I found a pimp bringing out a man.

A man said unhappily, "Hey! What is this! "

"Sir, this is a Muslim country. You can only spend 500 yuan playing with men, "said the procuress. "If you want to play with women, you have to play with at least 50,000 yuan!"

A man has to play reluctantly because he doesn't have enough money on him.

A few days later, the more she thought about it, the more unwilling she became, so she took 50 thousand yuan and went again. This time, the procuress brought a woman out. In the process of taking her back, after a forest, the woman said she wanted to go to the toilet. A promised to see the woman in the distant bushes in the moonlight, lifted her skirt and squatted down. But at this time, A found that among women,

A man said angrily, "What did you catch? Hum! You liars, Lao Tzu has paid 50 thousand yuan today, and you lied to me with a man to see how I can teach you a lesson! "

Nuo Nuo, a woman, said only to Nuo Nuo, "You ... caught my shit!"

3. A man and anonymous spent their wedding night in the woman's house because they didn't have a house. The next morning, the young couple didn't go downstairs for breakfast, and the old couple didn't care. At noon, the young couple still didn't go downstairs. The old couple thought they were too tired last night, but they didn't care. When it was time for dinner, I saw that the young couple had not come down yet. The old man could not sit still. He said to his youngest son, did your sister and your brother-in-law have anything to do last night? The younger son replied, nothing. By the way, my brother-in-law asked me for some vaseline oil last night, but it happened to run out, so he gave him some super glue with a model!

4. The leader put his hand on the female secretary's leg for a long time, and the female secretary said, "Have you read the 36th1page of Deng Xuan, Volume II?" The leader took his hand away in shame and went home to look at the page: leading cadres, be courageous!

A new eunuch took the initiative to hide under the bed for fear that he could not hear the emperor's orders when he fell asleep, and that he would delay the good things of the emperor and the queen. I found it the next morning ... The emperor said, "Well, you slave, how many hours did you stay under my bed?" The eunuch knelt on the ground and replied, "If you go back to the emperor, the slave has been under the bed for five nights." The emperor said, "What did you hear?" Eunuch: "First, you and the Empress are enjoying the painting." Emperor: "What do you mean?" Eunuch: "Listen to you and Empress, let me see the breasts of Shuangfeng." Emperor: "What about Er Geng?" Eunuch: "During the second watch, you seem to have fallen to the ground." Emperor: "What do you mean?" Eunuch: "Listen to the empress: come up quickly!" " Emperor: "What should I do in the dead of night?" Eunuch: "You seem to be eating crabs." Emperor: "What do you mean?" Eunuch: "whatever you say: break your leg!" " Emperor: "What about the fourth watch?" Eunuch: "It seems that your mother-in-law is coming for the fourth time." Emperor: "What do you mean?" Eunuch: "I heard the empress shout: Oh, my mother, oh, my mother! ! ! "Emperor:" What about the fifth watch? " Eunuch: "You are playing chess with the empress." Emperor: "What do you mean?" Eunuch: "I heard the empress say: one more shot, one more shot!" ! ! ! "Reply is a virtue! ! !