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What if my wife and parents don't get along? How much does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect marriage?

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a topic of great concern to everyone. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is generally difficult to deal with, because after all, it is not a family, and there will be conflicts in personality. It is very important for a daughter-in-law to have a harmonious relationship with her parents.

What if the wife and parents don't get along?

It is normal for parents and daughters-in-law to quarrel. This is because there is no blood relationship between parents and daughter-in-law. Thanks to ties like yours, they live under one roof! What you have to do now is to give full play to your role as a link:

1. To daughter-in-law: We should all regard each other's parents as our own biological parents, because without them, where would we be? We should respect them! If we don't get along with them, they will be angry, and they will be angry. This is our duty of unfilial. Besides, if we don't honor our elders, our children will honor them in the future! At this rate, how come!

2. To parents: Although she (daughter-in-law) was not raised by you, she fell in love with me and married me. You can't treat her as an outsider. You should treat her like a daughter. You treat her as a daughter, and she will treat you as a daughter to honor! Kindness is the last word to live long and make money. How nice it would be for our family to live in harmony!

How much does the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law affect marriage?

Research shows that 47% of divorced families in China are divorced because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. These couples did not properly handle the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which led to discord between husband and wife, family hot war and cold war, which had a great impact on both families and even a marriage crisis. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has become a phenomenon in many families in China.

1, concept conflict

The age gap between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is at least 20 years old. What my mother-in-law summed up from old experience may not necessarily conform to the ever-changing modern society. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have their own ideas and opinions. Is apple more nutritious or kiwi fruit more nutritious? In fact, it is difficult to confirm right or wrong. Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law obviously feel that they are right and conflict is inevitable.

Step 2 be alert

In the original family, the son and his parents lived a close life for decades. The mother always took care of the son, but after marriage, the son took care of other women. For a mother, deep down, she is actually jealous of her daughter-in-law. For the daughter-in-law, the husband and himself already have a small family, but they pay more attention to considering the opinions of their mother-in-law than their own. The influence of mother-in-law on her husband will also make her jealous of her mother-in-law.

3. Competition for resources

This resource refers to the child. Mother-in-law wants her son to be her original son, and daughter-in-law wants her husband to be just her husband. For mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the other side has more resources, but only less resources. In this confrontational relationship, the son, as a competing resource, can "coax" both sides and ease the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, otherwise it will offend both sides.

4. Family boundaries are confused

For her mother-in-law, she and her son belong to the same family, and she is used to entering her son's field. After her son gets married, if she doesn't realize that her son is already in a small family, she actually enters the field of daughter-in-law, and she can easily invade the field of daughter-in-law without knowing it. As for the daughter-in-law, although she has formed a small family with her husband, she cannot divest part of her husband's family. If she wants to master her husband completely, and he only cares about the small family and doesn't care about the family he came from, it is easy to cause common hostility between her husband and her mother-in-law.

5, the influence of outside public opinion

Since ancient times, there has been a saying among Chinese people that "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies". It is also recognized that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult interpersonal relationship to deal with, so that everyone has formed a cognition. When the son gets married, there are new members in the family, and they begin to contact and accept each other, let the mother-in-law be wary of the daughter-in-law, and let the daughter-in-law be wary of the mother-in-law. In daily life, it is easy for both sides with bad feelings to misinterpret each other's behavior and form a vicious circle!

How to deal with the bad relationship between wife and mother?

When there is a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, at this time, as a man, you must not be partial to one side, do not blame one side, do not let your mother think that you married your daughter-in-law and forgot your mother, and do not let your daughter-in-law think that you are bullying her with your mother. Many times it is unreasonable for women to quarrel. Don't reason with them, especially the two women who quarrel. After the incident, we must persuade them separately. If we fail to persuade in public, we will easily get into some trouble. Some women especially like to make a hullabaloo about to judge their neighbors once they quarrel. Is this for others to judge? This is obviously a joke to others, which is very harmful to family relations.

Stand up like a man at the critical moment. Don't be negative, Nuo Nuo. Your wife and your mother are fighting for the sky. As a result, you were silent and watched them get louder and louder. Are you ambitious? Show some momentum and stop them! Usually, the best way for a man is to please both sides, praising his wife with your mother here and praising your mother with your daughter-in-law there. You can pretend to be each other and buy some gifts for each other. Even if this behavior is discovered, they will understand that you did it for the sake of family harmony. Discuss everything with your wife and mother, and try not to do anything that causes contradictions between the two sides.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not good. Is it better to divorce or not to divorce?

1, the basic relationship between people leads to a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It is not only the main bond between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also the branch bond around the closest people around her. There are many mother-in-law problems here. For example, in the main ties, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not agree, mother-in-law looks down on daughter-in-law, mother-in-law is too strong, daughter-in-law thinks her husband is incompetent, mother-in-law thinks she doesn't care about her son, and her husband doesn't know how to coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and even helps her suppress her daughter-in-law or complain about her mother. The reasons must be endless. Every mother-in-law relationship has its own.

Suggestion: On the other hand, this is actually the reason for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Is it better to divorce or not to divorce? I can't help you make a decision. You know, other people's mother-in-law's problems may not apply to you. Maybe her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be reconciled, and you have no solution. But here are some ideas. Take your divorce decision as a balance for the time being, and then see which one is more important to you. The first thing that comes to mind is: have you compromised on the issue of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law If not, are you willing to continue to compromise? The second thought is: Does your partner often take you out independently, and has he helped you in the face of your help? The third thought is: Do you want to maintain this family or pursue ideal happiness? After thinking about these three questions, you will actually have an answer in your heart, because there is no perfect answer to divorce, and there is no real right or wrong, because there is a certain proportion of good and bad results, and it must be clear that accepting good choices will inevitably bear bad results.

2. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by family environment factors is not good.

The combination of two different family environments will inevitably lead to many contradictions, such as contradictions in life, such as contradictions in consumption concepts and contradictions in family education. This factor is often more difficult to reconcile than the first one, because the family environment is generally a big atmosphere, not a process of mutual change, but a process of mutual adaptation. What should I do in the face of this mother-in-law problem?

Suggestion: Although family environment problems are difficult to reconcile, they can still coexist. I saw a picture on the Internet. A gap circle meets a gap just right. Perhaps because it is too suitable, the gap is still widening, and it is likely to gradually become inappropriate. However, the best mode is that two circles can roll further together. These two circles are like two different family environments. This also shows that in a family with a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the key is not to cater to each other, but to find a symbiotic balance, such as reaching a tacit understanding, an agreement and mutual respect. This may be the key to easing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law As for divorce, if you can't find it consciously, it won't be a regrettable decision.

3. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by external factors is not good.

Such as social factors, historical factors and so on. Of course, we can't underestimate the influence of external factors, because this is a deep-rooted concept, such as male superiority, son preference, social comparison and so on. It will indirectly affect the harmony of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I often hear some mother-in-law talk about her daughter-in-law behind her back, and then compare them and find out how good her daughter-in-law is. Should I get a divorce in the face of this mother-in-law problem?

Suggestion: This historical factor will collide with the ongoing social factor. They may jointly affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and may also restrict each other to create a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The key is who will be the media. The media plays a role in conveying ideas. Of course, you already think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be divorced. Naturally, you can't convey it, you have to give it to a third party. For example, my mother-in-law's third party, my son is the most convincing to her, my father-in-law is the most convincing to her, and some credible social information is also convincing to her, which will be more effective than you. Doesn't mean that your idea is correct, so you also need to learn to understand some old ideas or new ideas, so that you can be really calm. I think understanding these reasons is actually inseparable from the most superficial maintenance such as divorce, which is not the main direction of your struggle. This is just a piece of paper from the Civil Affairs Bureau. The key is whether you want to continue to work hard for this marriage after you think about these factors.