The campus comedy sketch script requires two people

Campus comedy sketch script - a lot of problems

A lot of problems

(appear)

(A is shorter than B, enter Bow. )

B: Hello, audience friends. Today I will tell you about a cross talk. Hope you all like it. Talk to me about this. . . (Pointing to himself) Hey! This Shengdong came up with me. Why is there no one there? this. . .

A: Hey! What's your look? Such a large living person is standing

here. (Pointing to the ground) You didn’t see it.

B: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. But isn’t your altitude too low? (Gestures with hands)

A: Low altitude? I think you are looking down on others. I ask you. The famous comedian Pan Changjiang is at a low altitude.

B: Yeah! (Big)

A: How much joy it brings to everyone. ah! Movie star Eric Tsang has a low altitude.

B: Yeah! (middle)

A: How many movies have been made? President Deng Xiaoping is at a low altitude.

B: Yeah! (Small, nearly silent)

A: How much contribution have you made to the motherland. ah! I am Sheng Dong. . . ah! (Strange noise)

B: What’s wrong!

A: So I don’t want to cooperate with people like you? As soon as we got on stage today, I looked at the faces of the judges. Today's game is a waste.

B: What’s going on?

A: You are on stage! Audience friends, as soon as Xu Zhao showed his face, (B went from laughing to getting angry, getting more and more angry) the audience friends must be worried. Xu Zhaoer showed up, and the cross talk never happened again. Xu Zhao showed his head three times and frightened a cow to death in the field. Xu Zhao showed up on four occasions, and people all over the country jumped off the building. Xu Zhaowu. . .

B: Fuck you. (Pushing A away) Hey! Shengdong? (When A comes back, he sees A’s face) Why is his face swollen after not seeing him for a few days?

A: I ate too many steamed buns. (A touched his face)

B: That’s outrageous! Eating too many steamed buns can make your face swollen.

A: (Looking left and right) Oh. That's when I'm nervous about going on stage. This is when I'm on stage. One is nervous, one is careless, and one is not paying attention. "Pfft" my face became swollen. (Spray the words on his face)

B: That’s outrageous. (Wiping his face) "Pfft" his face became swollen. (Response to A) Not telling the truth, right?

A: No, today everyone is here to listen to the cross talk between the two of us, saying that your face is swollen. (Speaking to B in a low voice)

B: The audience likes to hear this. (To the audience) Everyone, tell me.

A: Thank you all for your support and love for my face over the years. . .

B: Stop being so pretty. Say it!

A: Will I fail the exam today? (Expression of helplessness)

B: Your face is swollen after you failed the exam?

A: (rolls B’s eye) I’m not afraid of everyone laughing at me. Because my family loves to play table tennis. Therefore, my family implements a competition test score system.

B: Combining exercise and learning. This is great! Copyright by Secretary 114

A: Not bad! If I score below 80, (gestures with hands) tonight’s game will be women’s singles.

B: Wait! What is women's singles?

A: My mother beat me alone.

B: Oh! Such a women's singles.

A: If the test score is below 70 points. Then the game was changed to men's singles.

B: I understand. His father beat him alone. Then why did you fail the competition this time?

A: Everyone knows, mixed doubles!

B: Let’s go together! Okay. Can this face not be swollen?

A: There is a couplet on the wall of my house, which speaks volumes.

B: There are also couplets!

A: That is. The first couplet is, I will scold you when I say I want to scold you.

B: Second line.

A: I’ll hit you when I say I’m going to hit you, and I’ll hit you when it’s okay.

B: Phi horizontally.

A: Let others beat and scold you.

B: Good guy, aren’t you ready to be beaten at any time?

A: How fresh. I was doing homework in my room. My dad came in and my son punched me twice. After a while my mother came in and her son kicked me twice. Do you think that everyone is just like your family? Are you going to be beaten like a sandbag? (Add action)

B: What do you need from me? Isn't that what you said? Let others beat and scold you.

A: It’s okay as long as you don’t commit any crime. As soon as you commit a crime, your father will interrogate you again. There must be a game tonight. (Said with a smile)

B: Then tell everyone about it?

A: You are determined to see me make a fool of yourself today, right?

B: No, no. Just make a report for everyone. "Domestic Violence Prevention and Control Report". (Said very seriously)

A: It’s interesting. This is not the day after school. I just entered the house and was walking in when my dad stopped me. "Son! Come here, let me ask you something!" (loud voice)

B: Your dad speaks so loudly.

A: Who says it’s not? I found out what bad thing I did again. Isn't this over? (very anxious)

B: This is called a guilty conscience! (Talking to the audience)

A: Guilty? It's not good to feel guilty. Why do you feel guilty? Give me a kidney deficiency if you can.

B: Hi!

A: I don’t care anymore. I am not outstanding in study and literature and art. The waist and shoulders are prominent. Don’t speak in class, don’t speak in meetings. Flat conductors are tight. (Add actions)

B: It’s really hard to memorize!

A: Listening to this tone, you must have discovered that I have done something bad. Is it my dad’s policy? Leniency for those who confess, severity for those who resist.

B: Then you can’t do it or not. Why is it so awkward!

A: Move! Even if you beat him to death!

B: What a man!

A: As long as you can’t be beaten to death, I’ll kill you!

B: Hey! That's all.

A: Where do you start from?

B: If you have any tricks, please tell me!

A: I have done a lot. Eating, drinking, whoring, gambling, cheating, cheating and stealing. What if I didn’t recruit him because he discovered the principle of equal punishment for both crimes? When the time comes, you can help me with two slaps, yes

No! (Slap B twice)

B: Who did I recruit?

A: Yes, besides, what I did was not a bad thing at all.

B: So what have you done?

A: I mean skipping classes and surfing the Internet.

B: Skipping class and surfing the Internet is nothing!

A: Compared to those who kill people, set fires, and rob homes and homes. Then where do you go?

B: Hey!

A: Besides

playing games also develops intelligence.

B: Skipping class and playing games can also develop your intelligence. I don't understand what you call losing one's ambition by playing with things. You even skipped class to play games. What took you so long?

A: What took you so long? Can you upgrade without spending time? Online games are like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat. Others are improving one level at a time, but you go to class and you will be looked down upon in a few days. When the time comes, if I stay overnight without going home, it will affect my studies. (Making B stunned for a moment)

B: He is still reasonable.

A: Now is the time for us to lay a solid foundation. As the saying goes, there is a road to the mountain and diligence is the path. There is no limit to the sea of ??learning and hard work. Friends, put down your schoolbags. Work hard to upgrade! (Pat B on the shoulder)

B: Yeah! What the hell! (Pushing B away) Don’t forget that you are a student. Put academics first.

A: Just because we are students. We need to develop in many aspects. Legend doesn’t believe in bubble gum. Are you talking about Journey to the Adventure Island?

B: What are these!

A: These are all online games I have played!

B: I said you can just play one or two!

A: One or two? Is it okay to take one or two subjects in the college entrance examination? (Say very loudly)

B: No. (Shakes head)

A: Still. Online games are like studying, and you must not be partial to subjects. There are six or seven subjects in the college entrance examination, and it is difficult to enter a university without one.

Do you understand?

B: I understand. Is this all worth it? People like you deserve to be discovered by your family.

A: I’m confused. How did he find me?

B: I probably saw you playing in an Internet cafe.

A: Impossible! I went to a black Internet cafe.

B: What is a black Internet cafe?

A: Have you ever heard of a song about black Internet cafes?

B: Which one?

A: To move forward, to move forward. Target black Internet cafes. We all love him. Across this street, across that lane. When you think of black Internet cafes, don’t be afraid of anything. To move forward, to move forward. . . (Sing and say, add actions)

B: Isn’t it here yet? (Push A away)

A: Here we are. I saw three big words on the door, Black Internet Cafe. (Pointing to the sign)

B: Hey! So dark!

A: There is a line of small words below, "It's your fault if you don't come once, and it's my fault if you don't come next time."

B: You are surfing the Internet here.

A: That’s great! The parents can't find them, the police can't catch them, and the students don't go to school, so they all run there.

B: It’s such a black Internet cafe, which has harmed many students. Why? So is this what your dad discovered?

A: Who knows! He didn't say anything, just shook his head. (Shakes head)

B: That’s not the case. Keep recruiting!

A: OK! I gave it my all. I said, Dad! I went on a date with e again!

B: This guy! (sudden reaction) No, wait! Didn't you mention that h and s before...

A: Oh! H and S were my first two girlfriends, and they were so unfeminine. It’s better to have e, my third girlfriend.

B: Falling in love at a young age, and it’s the third time.

A: What era is this? True love is guiltless!

B: We are students and cannot fall in love!

A: Student. If kindergarten students don’t fall in love, it means that the flowers of the motherland have not gone bad. If primary school students don’t fall in love, they have not entered a new era. If junior high school students don’t fall in love, it means they are incompetent. If high school students don’t fall in love, they are most likely perverts.

B: It’s all nonsense. I'm not in love.

A: You! Look, everyone, (gestures B’s face) This is God’s creation, a moment of negligence. Make him, wild animal.

B: (pushing A away) You are a wild animal! Then what you say makes sense. Why doesn't your dad let you fall in love?

A: That’s right! Now, parents, just worry about it. I said I was in love, but he said I was in early love, and that's not okay. I said I would never fall in love again and be a single nobleman, but they said I was unfilial. . .

B: They are all doing it for your own good. Doesn’t puppy love affect learning?

A: Did you see it? You saw that we eloped and stopped studying, right? As the saying goes, if men and women work together, the work will not be tiring. Everyone thinks so, right? Copyright by Secretary 114

B: You are unrepentant. Why? So is this what your dad is talking about?

A: Before he spoke, he shook his head again. (A shakes his head)

B: No, we still have to do something!

A: OK! I've got them all. Wait until I finish talking about this mess. Only then did my dad speak. "I see you performed well today, so I won't punish you. Don't do it again in the future!" (imitate what dad said)

B: That's what I said! Parents are the same everywhere. Punishment is not the purpose, education is important.

A: My dad just finished speaking. My mother came out. The child's father, I asked you to ask your son if his pocket money is enough? Did you ask?

B: Hey! How did your dad find out what happened? I want to give you money to spend!

A: Isn’t this a loss? Fucked by the Japanese!

B: This kid!

A: I didn’t expect my dad to hear this.

Raise your hands and hit me!

B: I understand, men’s singles!

A: Fuck you!

(Exit)

Reference material? Refer to my own answer, (*^__^*) Hehe...