Please send out any jokes that are particularly funny one by one.

One day, the king wanted to recruit Xu, and there was a problem. First, let the elephant shake his head, then let the elephant nod and finally let the elephant jump into the pool, so he could be a Xu. A lot of people came from all over the world, but the elephant was very uncooperative. No one could do it. The king was disappointed. Finally, a beggar came. He said I had an idea. The king said, Well, try it. The man went to the elephant and said to the elephant, Do you know me? The elephant shook his head, and he said to the elephant, You are really handsome. The elephant nodded, and his knife stabbed the elephant's ass. The elephant jumped into the pool at once, but the king didn't want a beggar to be a husband, so he said, No, you can jump into the pool if I want to stab your ass with a knife. Once again, the beggar went to the elephant and said, Dare you pretend? The elephant shook his head and said to the elephant, now you know me. The elephant nodded, and then said to the elephant, then you know what to do. The elephant jumped into the pool at once.

When the Chinese teacher turned around, nothing is left now but the Yellow Crane Terrace; When the math teacher looked back, the symmetry axis of quadratic function; As soon as the English teacher turned around, sorry added three grams of oil. ? As soon as the chemistry teacher turned around, carbon dioxide turned into gasoline; As soon as the physics teacher turned around, he pried the earth with a lever; As soon as the biology teacher turned around, the IVF swam in the water; As soon as the PE teacher turned around, Jordan changed to play table tennis; When all the teachers turn around, the people of the world are not free! !

An American, a Frenchman and an China were walking in the desert. When they walked, they saw a bottle. When they opened the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can satisfy three wishes for each of you!" Americans are the first to say, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "This is simple, it satisfies you! Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Get me home." The fairy said, "No problem." So Americans returned to America with a lot of money. The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want a beautiful woman!" " The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" " The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France." After the fairy sent the French back to China, she asked the China people what they wanted. China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China people said, "I miss Chinese and Americans very much. Please get them all back." The French and the United States are extremely popular, but they are helpless, so the three of them have to continue to walk. Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of that fairy just now, and my magic is not as strong as his, so I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you." The French and Americans think it's better to let the China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first." The fairy fulfilled his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish quickly. After drinking Erguotou, China people said to the immortal slowly, "All right, it's all right, go away."

The father asked his son, "Aren't you afraid of ghosts?" "Ghosts have nothing to be afraid of!" The son said, "Grandma says you are a troublemaker; Aunt says you are an alcoholic; Mom often scolds you for being greedy and lazy; Uncle says you are a cheapskate. I'm not afraid to be with you every day, what the hell am I afraid of! "

1. A woman takes counterfeit money to buy breakfast. The peddler was annoyed and said very seriously: Elder sister, you can forget about giving counterfeit money. At least it's printed. This money of yours is actually painted!

2.? Even if you take a 1,-step step back, you can forget the painting. You can draw a ten-piece or five-piece one, right? You also draw a seven-piece one!

3.? Let's just say seven dollars for seven dollars. Let's not talk about it. At the very least, we have to draw in color, even with a pencil ~! ? Forget it, I can't stand it ~! Black and white is black and white!

4. You can't draw with toilet paper either! It feels too bad. ? Even toilet paper, I recognize it!

5. You have to trim the edges with scissors anyway. This one was torn by hand, and the raw edges are too exaggerated. ? Ok, I don't want to talk about burrs either

6. But you can also tear a rectangle! This triangle is too unreasonable!

People who read this joke will have smooth sailing, two dragons will take off, three sheep will prosper in Thailand, four seasons will be safe, five blessings will prosper, seven stars will shine brightly, all directions will make money, 99 will be United, everything will prosper, everything will be lucky and everything will go well! Everything goes well without reprinting!

more than p>6 years ago, a friend told me a joke, which made me laugh. Later, I was admitted to the hospital because my stomach hurt too much. Before the doctor operated on me, he asked me why I laughed like this, so I told him. He laughed hysterically after hearing this, and finally died laughing.

I was taken to court. The judge asked me to tell the joke, and the jury decided whether it was consistent with the factual elements of manslaughter. I asked to sign an exemption contract. The judge announced that the court would be adjourned and reopened a day later, announcing that my opinion was accepted. So, I told the joke in court, and as a result, some people knocked on the table with laughter and some people rolled on the ground with laughter. Later, all the people who heard the joke that day died laughing.

I became a celebrity in an instant, and reporters from all walks of life asked to interview me. I knew that telling this joke might constitute a public infringement, so I vaguely said something to the camera to the effect that: "The reason is always a lie, and the belief is always * * * *. After the program was broadcast, it caused great repercussions. Unexpectedly, one day, some mysterious plain clothes broke into my bedroom and dragged me into a dark room. After a long time, a bright light shone on my face. I barely opened my eyes and was shocked. The person sitting in front of me is the only person who is as well-known as me-the president.

The president explained the purpose of arresting me roughly, which is simple: record this joke and send it to the dictator of a hostile country in the Middle East to laugh him to death. I had to agree to his request, and at the same time put forward that this joke belongs to weapons of mass destruction and should not be directed at civilians. The president agreed.

two weeks later, the president announced that he had mastered the key technology of the joke and successfully tried it in desert areas. This caused an uproar in the international community, and many countries panicked. International military scientists named it "Laughter Deterrence". Just then, a country in the East suddenly announced that it had mastered the joke, and the buddy who told me the joke had taken refuge in that country. As a result, a "balance of laughter and deterrence" was formed between us.

Three years later, on April 1st, what I was worried about all day long finally happened: a terrorist organization in the Middle East stole the original technology of that joke. As a result, civilization has been destroyed as never before, and countries are in constant fear. The United Nations had to hold a global summit and finally set April 1st as April Fool's Day.

more than p>6 years have passed, and I'm dying. Before leaving the world, as a historical witness, I think it is necessary to tell this joke to everyone. That day, the joke my friend told me was very simple and short. Just one sentence:

You can't see the result until you reprint it!

there is a new student in a class.

One day, the teacher asked him: How old are you?

Student: Excuse me, did the teacher ask me where it is?

teacher: your age.

student: oh, does the teacher want to know my age last year or this year?

teacher: nonsense, it must be this year.

student: oh, do you want me to tell you now or after class?

teacher: now.

student: oh, do you want me to speak loudly or quietly?

teacher: shit, do you want to talk or not? Don't fool me!

Student: Say, why does the teacher want to know how old I am?

teacher: can't I just ask?

student: oh, can't I not answer?

teacher: I'm sweating to death ...............

"Calculate pull, calculate pull, classmates, our topic today is to repeat antonyms. The teacher said, you pick up, OK!

teacher: today's weather is fine

student: tomorrow's weather is bad

teacher: I ate fish head yesterday

student: you ate turtle Tou

teacher: wrong

student: I said wrong

student: I said right

teacher: you.

student: the teacher told me to sit down, I heard you!

teacher: don't you dare to listen to the teacher

student: I dare not listen to the teacher

teacher: do you know what you just said?

student: I know I'm not saying anything now.

Teacher: This classmate, I know you did it on purpose.

Student: That teacher, you know I didn't do it on purpose.

Teacher: I have a small one.

Teacher: You don't learn well when you are so young.

Student: I only learn badly when I am so old.

Teacher: I don't want to talk about you.

student: I'm not afraid of you. Go on, ok?

teacher: antonym practice is over here.

student: synonym practice begins now.

teacher: are you finished?

student: I am endless.

teacher: you are uneducated.

student: I am educated.

teacher: do you look like an educated person?

student: don't I look like an uneducated person?

teacher: depressed

student: happy

teacher: I'm so angry with you

student: you're so angry with me

teacher: can you stop talking

student: can I stop talking?

teacher: go on, I'm not going to take this class, I'm leaving.

student: I'll stop. I have to take this class. I'll do it.