Cao Yunjin joked.

Crosstalk "Talking about Learning" Cao Yunjin Liu Yuntian

A: This cross talk is our group. My name is Cao Yunjin!

B: That's right!

I'm from Tianjin, and this is Liu Yuntian, who is also from Tianjin.

B: Yes.

A: This teacher is amazing!

B: What's the matter?

A: Tell me about others, why I cooperate with them and they can take me with them! If three people go together, there will be my teacher!

B: Look at what you said!

A: I have never worshipped anyone since I was a child, but Mr. Liu is the second greatest person in the world in my mind!

B: So what was the first great man in your mind?

A: Ximen Qing, Ximen and Jinlian.

No, you wait.

A: That.

Which one? You can't take this.

A: That person's style.

B: OK, OK.

A: Is it delicious?

B: separate, two people!

A: You two have similar hobbies in this field!

B: I don't have this hobby.

A: Great. Good character.

B: Two different things.

I admire you. Why should we cooperate? Because the relationship is good!

That's true.

A: To what extent are partners on stage and friends off stage? Words cannot describe it.

B: Great!

A: I went to their house that day and you weren't at home! Your father is at home alone?

B: Why?

A: Old people have a hobby.

B: What's your hobby?

Good at playing chess.

B: That's right. Good research.

Where are you going alone with a chess book? I said don't lie! You can't play alone Come on, let's get started! It's on the table. Well, this chess game was played from 2: 30 pm to 7: 30 pm, and no chess game was won. In the end, there was only one elephant left in your father's place, and I only had one scholar left, and no one played!

This is not a draw.

A: A draw! I don't even know how to get off! One looks like a scholar. I'm so stupid!

B: I can't get down!

A: Your father twisted and insisted on getting off.

B: How do I get off?

A: Go back to Colombia! Elephants cross the river, your father is bad!

B: What's the matter?

A: As soon as you reach out, copy the elephant and look at me! As soon as I saw that your father looked like me, I didn't mention it and copied this gentleman directly. Your father looks like me, I am your father, your father looks like me, I am your father, your father looks like me, I am your father, I am your father. Finally, I got angry. As soon as I reached out, I copied the elephant and put it in my pocket! Your father can't be like me this time I can only be your father.

I am your grandfather. Does anyone talk like that?

Why are you in such a hurry?

B: Can you relax?

That means playing chess?

B: You made it very clear.

A: That is to say, good at this, good at playing chess, the great teacher Liu!

What is wrong with me?

A: My idol is in great shape, studious, a graduate of Peking University in 2003, a real hooligan with a diploma.

B: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Is it a college student or a gangster?

A: Did you get it, college student? Educated and backstage, we little actors have words we don't know, like people who ask for advice.

B: study together.

A: I'll pronounce the word Teacher Liu, and I'll write it to you in Pinyin. I know everything, and I know Sanskrit in Oracle Bone Inscriptions.

B: Me!

A: Do you know them all? If a good learner has any words, look them up in the dictionary and go. There is a note underground. Pick it up and see what it says.

Are there any new words?

A: I want to study hard and perform in the countryside. There are signs on the wall. Look at what it says.

Are there any new words?

A: Study hard. Go to the public toilet to pee that day! Stand still, I'm peeing, and I see a line on the opposite wall! Look up, look up, look up, look up, and finally there is a line on the roof!

B: What's this?

You got your shoes wet! Cloth shoes are all wet! A man of extraordinary intelligence.

I said, you are so rude.

A: Say you have a good personality.

I didn't say that.

A: I'm kidding. That's what crosstalk performers do. They talked and laughed, and everyone was happy, very happy. Crosstalk actors learn to sing four subjects, each of which is not easy. Take this as an example! Keep your mouth clean, and you can't talk cross talk if there is something wrong with it. Lickitung lisped and said that crosstalk was in trouble! For example, there is a saying, spend 200 yuan to buy a pig to squeak, drink water, eat beans and pick up the wall and throw it out. Guess what?

B: What?

A: Dead! It must be so clear that every word must be sent to your ear and cannot be corrupted.

B: That's very clear.

A: I can't say it because there is something wrong with my mouth. Lickitung said it was troublesome.

B: What's it like?

A: I spent 200 yuan to buy a pig to squeak and drink water, eat beans and pick up the wall and throw it out. Guess what?

B: Yes! This is not good.

A: There is nothing wrong with the mouth. In fact, we should learn languages. Our language on the stage should be civilized and clean, and we can't talk nonsense. Pay attention not only on stage, but also off stage. We must be measured, or we will make a joke if we are not careful.

I made a joke.

Take last night for example! There are some friends at home. There are eight of me. I don't want to eat at home, but eat out! I found a big hotel and asked for a big table of dishes, including chicken, duck and fish.

B: Quite a lot.

A: I ordered a turtle soup, which is turtle soup.

B: Wait a minute.

A: This bastard weighs more than 200 Jin!

B: Have a rest.

A: One meter is eight.

Who's going there? Don't compare with this!

A: chinemys reevesii soup, please. My mouth is urgent. I picked up this spoon and filled it with soup.

B: How about that?

A: Fresh! How fresh! The waiter next to him praised the soup for being easy to talk about! Sir, this bastard eats soup! Work, work, share this soup, share this soup, don't just share the soup, isn't there meat? Divide this meat, too, or there will be eggs to eat! Divide the eggs, too. As soon as I told him to share the eggs, he spoke again.

What did you say?/Sorry?

A: Excuse me, sir. This egg is inseparable. Eight of you and seven assholes.

B: too talkative.

A: I'm still lying in the hospital with this punch! If you can't talk, you have to joke.

B: That's right.

A: It is not easy for you to study what you say. We learned a lot, flying in the sky, running on the ground, floating in the water, jumping in the grass, shouted by businesses of all sizes, and said by people from all provinces.

Can you learn all of them?

A: Of course, we should learn everything in the world.

Really?

Let me ask you something. What is the fastest mouth in the world?

B: Speak quickly.

A: It's the fastest.

If you ask me, I would say that this swallow has the fastest mouth.

A: No, toad has the fastest mouth! Xiaoyan speaks slowly, but toad speaks fast.

No, we Xiaoyan talk fast.

No, no, toad speaks quickly.

B: Xiaoyan has a glib tongue.

You just want to wrangle Toads talk quickly.

So let's stop being melodramatic. How about playing games for a while?

A: How?

Tell you what! Let's count to ten, and from one to ten, let's see who is talkative.

A: Count from one to ten to see who is talkative. You go first.

I can imitate the sound of swallows.

I imitate toads.

B: Listen.

A: You do it.

B:1234567891012345678910 How fast?

A: Xiaoyan.

B: Hurry up.

You don't look like Xiaoyan, you look like a roast duck!

Why do you care about this? Swallows talk quickly.

Listen to me, toad! Two or five.

B: Twenty-five! This also has addition! That's one hundred.

A: Twenty or fifty, two or five hundred, two or five thousand. I can count to ten thousand, twenty or five hundred thousand from here.

B: This is for you.

Toads talk fast!

B: There is an addition for you!

A: You have to study. It's not easy to learn to laugh. Crosstalk speakers have to be funny. If you don't tease, it's not called cross talk. It will make you laugh! But you see that we are funny on the stage, but we are not funny under the stage, and we are not completely satisfied under the stage, and we also have troubles in our hearts!

What's the matter with you?

A: Take this morning as an example. I am lying at home! Usually busy with performances, I want to sleep in today! Go to the show at night and lie at home.

Get more rest.

My daughter-in-law is a vicious bitch.

Don't say that.

A: I woke up early, 8: 30! What do you say you should do when you wake up? You're kidding me!

What happened to him?

He gave me a pull. Hey, time to get up. Time to get up. You can't afford it. You can't afford it. When I heard this, I was furious.

Are you out of your mind?

You must be crazy to talk so hard! Go to hell! I kicked you to death. I got up. I seem to get up. I'm tired. I seem to remember. I don't seem to remember. Am I getting dark? I got up, I got up, I got up, I got up, I got up, I got up, I got up, I got up, I got up.

B: This way, this way, you! Who are you cursing?

A: How about calling my wife?

B: Why did you scold your daughter-in-law for coming at me?

A: inch. Do you mind if I scold my wife?

B: Scold.

No. Are you in charge?

I don't care. It doesn't matter if you talk too much

A: You asked me, can I get up?

If you ask me! Get up if you want, or sleep if you don't want.

A: My daughter-in-law also said that you can get up if you want, and sleep if you don't want.

No, you wait! Who said that?

A: My wife.

B: Why is it the same as what I said?

A: inch by inch, I caught up! Don't you think it's over when I get up? Still looking for me, picking on me! I sat there. What's the luck there? Take a cup of tea, drink two, drink two.

Let you drink some water.

Do you drink? Do you drink? Do you drink? Do you drink? As soon as I heard this, I got angry.

B: It's time to go to the hospital.

You must be crazy to talk so hard! Go to hell! I kick you to death, I drink, I seem to drink, I am tired of drinking, I seem to want to drink, I don't want to drink, I drink two or three cups in Wang Zi, Shaanxi, I drink, I drink, I drink your grandmother's grandson.

What do you mean? Who are you cursing?

A: How about calling my wife?

Why are you coming at me?

A: inch. Do you mind if I scold my wife?

B: well, you can swear!

You say, do I drink?

Yes, have a drink. If not, just put it there!

A: My daughter-in-law also said she wanted a drink or two, but she didn't want to. Leave it there!

B: Wait a minute, come back! Who said that?

My wife said so.

B: Why is it the same as what I said?

A: inch. Don't you think it's over for me? Still looking for me, he handed me the cigarette again. You smoked one, you smoked one, you smoked one, and when I heard this, I was furious.

B: Damn it!

You must be crazy to talk so hard! Go to hell! I kick you to death, I smoke, I seem to smoke, I'm tired of smoking, I seem to want to smoke, I don't want to smoke, I smoke, I smoke,

B: Slap your grandmother's grandson.

It makes my face wet.

You are ridiculous.

A: What! Why are you coming at me?

Nonsense, you have attacked me twice!

My wife is in a hurry.

B: Ah.

Tell me I smoke or not! My daughter-in-law ignored me

This is outrageous.

What do you say I smoke or not? ah

B: You can ask later! Let me ask you first. After I finish, is there a daughter-in-law here?

No, I promise not.

If this happens again, I will sit on your ass until you die.

Can I leave you alone?

B: OK.

Do you think I should smoke?

If you ask me! Just smoke two. What did your wife say?

A: My wife didn't say anything. My son is coming. Dad, take a sip! Stop it, stop it, hurry, blush, isn't that funny? Isn't this interesting?

B: Oh! Do you want to give us an example?

A: Yes, give an example for everyone to understand.

That's what I'm saying.

A: That's interesting. It's all shown, and this singing.

B: That's right.

You may not know much about singing.

B: What's the matter?

A: Singing, some people say that our crosstalk performers sing a song, a play, a ditty and a minor. That's not singing, it's learning, learning to sing, real singing, which means that our crosstalk performers sing Taiping lyrics.

Really?

A: Generally speaking, no young actor can learn this thing now!

B: Not many people will.

A: I will lose it soon. Fortunately, I'm still here. I can still sing. I can sing Taiping lyrics and sing the whole paragraph.

B: Oh! You can sing the whole Taiping lyrics.

A: It's just a short paragraph. I can't sing a long paragraph.

B: Well, how about you work hard here today and sing us a Taiping lyric?

A: Thank you for your applause! For all of you, I am here to sell my strength today. I'm here to sing a Taiping lyric and a short Taiping lyric.

B: OK.

Answer: Drink water. Drink water.

B: I'll drink it later. Let him sing first. We'll hear it out. Thank you. Thank you.

Answer: Knock melon seeds, knock melon seeds.

B: You can call again later. You can wait until he finishes singing Taiping lyrics. Thank you. Thank you.

Talk to me.

Stop it, will you sing or not?

A: It was cloudy yesterday and the Weihe River was cold. The clams above the water are sunbathing on the beach. Semi-suspended clams drop osprey eggs, they lick their wings and drill in proportion. The eagle drills clam meat, which is unbearable. The clams were fanned by the wings of the eagle's mouth, and a fisherman came to the south. One of them came to the shore. He said he was happy, really happy. When he caught the clam, he drank wine. The osprey eggs were exchanged for money, and some osprey were sad about it.

Ok, that would be great.

I can't sing well. I just learned a little.

Good, good, good.

A: But I can sing, which is no problem for an actor like me. I can accept all jokes. Although I can't speak well and need to improve, I will study hard, but at least I can! You are like this, and you still need this!

No, why did you mention me? Say you?

A: No, I can't sing, and my voice can't! Singing is not allowed, not only can't sing, but also fart is not allowed!

What are you talking about?

A: I can't listen to it. When he sings, it is "Bu". I didn't bully him. Look at his face. Just like a Beijing bar standing up! I don't want to cooperate with him! Cover your face next time you go on stage.

There is no Cao like you in the world! Don't do this to me. You are a pouting person, you know that?

Did I pout at you?

Do you know the stage pout? I want to sing this sentence to you today!

A: Come on, come on.

B: If it's not good, it's for you. Let me tell you something! It's such a loss to come up. I've never seen a crosstalk performer like you.

A: People are crazy.

B: it's not crazy. Go over there.

A: No, don't sing, it's terrible!

B: Never mind. It's none of your business.

A: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

B: Don't make trouble when you hear anything. Listen, I call it Lao Taiping Lyrics.

A: Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ Don't sing too hard.

Susan left Hongtong County and came to the front of this street. I didn't say anything. Gentlemen in the past listened to my words and advised your sister-in-law not to cry, not to be sad, and not to give up her old age. I admire your composure, intelligence and courage, and dare to play tricks in front of the devil. If Chen Zhou hadn't asked his mother, Bao Zheng Jr., Tianqi Temple would have avenged the bloodshed and written the Spring and Autumn Period.

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