What is the implicit and ironic joke you have ever seen?

There are many obscure and ironic jokes, as follows:

1, nothing to pretend to be B.

Quiet office, the leader suddenly farted. I saw the opportunity to show, and stood up in order not to embarrass the leader. I'm sorry the leader let me go. I ate too much soybeans in the morning. The leader smiled. You don't have to go to work tomorrow You said you had nothing to pretend to be b, and it was just the two of us in this office.

2, the expert's answer

Q: How to prevent the flu?

Expert: Always open the window for ventilation.

Q: How to deal with smog weather?

Expert: Just close the window.

Q: How to prevent thieves from breaking into houses?

Expert: Anti-theft net is installed outside the window.

Q: What should I pay attention to in family fire safety?

Expert: Never install an anti-theft net on the window.

Q: Do you always enjoy the cool by the window?

Expert: Don't sit in front of the window for a long time.

Q: What if I feel sleepy after sitting indoors for a long time?

Expert: Open the window and overlook the relief.

3, intrigue

The old man and the young man are chatting. The old man said, let me tell you a story. The teenager said yes, yes, I like listening to stories. Then, the old man began to tell a story: One day, Pluto said to the little devil, I gave you a task to walk around the world. Give me a list of all the people who played tricks. A week later, the child came back from the world, exhausted and collapsed in front of the king of hell. It is out of the question. This is an impossible task.

Yan, you can't use your head. One day later, the child came back from the earth. All smiles, here, this is a list of all the people in the world who don't play tricks. Yan, ok, now you send a letter to everyone here. At this point, the old man was silent and the young man was puzzled. Go on, what did the letter say? The old man said, it seems that you haven't received the letter either.

Step 4 milk the car

City Man: What are you buying?

Farmer: I want to buy a cow.

City resident: It's better to buy a car.

Farmer: It's better to be a cow.

City resident: If you ride an ox, people will laugh at you!

Farmer: If you milk a car, it will be more interesting!

5. cod liver oil

A man heard that feeding cod liver oil is good for the health of dogs, and he decided to give it a try. So he put his dog's head between his legs every day, broke its mouth hard and poured cod liver oil into it. Every time the dog struggles. One day, when the man was feeding the dog, the dog finally broke away from its owner and spit out cod liver oil. But what surprised the man even more was that the dog turned around and licked it greedily after spitting cod liver oil on the ground.

6. Iron

After Sai Weng's death, his mare ran away from home, met a stallion on the grassland and married it. One day, the stallion asked me dear, what do you think of me? The mare said that you are as kind to me as my former master, providing me with food and riding me from time to time! Hearing this, the stallion was furious and kicked the mare. Fuck, I dare to be sarcastic. That thing is as small as a person!

7. Seat belts

A plane broke down in the air, and the captain asked the passengers and crew to fasten their seat belts and prepare for a forced landing. A few minutes later, the captain asked the stewardess by radio if everyone had fastened their seat belts. However, a lawyer is handing out his business card.

8. I will refuel if someone borrows the car.

Chatting one day, Lao Li said: Recently, the fuel consumption is relatively stable, with an average of eight in the urban area. Xiao Zhang said with some envy that my average fuel consumption is still close to 10! Lao Wang is usually cautious and doesn't like to talk. Seeing everyone chatting happily, he also joined in the fun. I have refueled twice since I bought a car. Everyone gave a thumbs-up and asked Lao Wang to teach him fuel-saving tips.

Lao Wang raised his glasses and said slowly, in fact, there is no secret, that is, crowding the bus when it is not urgent and taking a taxi when it is urgent. Lao Li said, what are you angry about? Lao Wang said gloomily, others borrow the car, and I refuel.

9, do a good job in neighborhood relations

Grandpa died, and his family and neighbors burned incense in the cemetery. As long as three is enough, an uncle will put the rest in someone else's grave. Everyone doesn't understand, uncle said to do a good job in neighborhood relations!

10, seventeen golden arhats

When a robbery gang came back from committing a crime, one of them excitedly said to the boss, I have dug a golden arhat, boss, look at pure gold. The boss's face lit up, too, and he looked gloomy for a long time. Next, tell me honestly, are you hiding those seventeen golden arhats?

1 1, Bao Jiaozi

I went to my father-in-law's house during the Spring Festival and brought four wives and sisters. She is the youngest, and all three brothers-in-law are here. When I caught up with Bao jiaozi, my father-in-law asked me if I wanted to pack jiaozi. Of course I said yes. My father-in-law said with a smile, it's just that the four of us are playing poker. Go pack jiaozi with them.

12, do good without leaving a name.

This gentleman intends to build a charity nursing home in the local area. I hope everyone can respond to donations and make contributions!

Ok, but I don't have any cash on me. I'll sign you a check!

A: Well, I'm sorry, sir, but you didn't sign it.

B: I never leave my name when I do good deeds!

All that glitters is not gold.

The unit wants to divide the house, and his wife urges Xiao Wang to invite the director to dinner to contact his feelings. Not to mention the scene, his wife nudged him, and the director likes to write in his spare time. At the dinner table, Xiao Wang said that the director is a literary lover, and I have read many of your masterpieces! The director is modest and complacent. Xiao Wang watched the play and went on while the iron was hot. He looked at the dark and fat director and blurted out. You can't judge a book by its cover.

14, meeting on behalf of others

The new doorman always dozes off in broad daylight. On this day, the boss met him. The boss said, go home and sleep if you can, and don't come tomorrow. The doorman quickly said, boss, in fact, I always doze off because of my original job. Just adjust it for a few days. The boss said what occupation you used to be, and the uncle reluctantly said that I, I, I used to give people meetings at work!

15, slaughterhouse

One day, while the company was having a boring meeting, my colleague Xiao Wang's cell phone suddenly rang and a strange voice came from the other end of the phone. Is this Paradise Company? Xiao Wang said no, where is this, Xiao Wang Dao? This is a slaughterhouse!

16, believe in donkeys.

One day, a friend came to Lao Huo and said, Lao Huo, I want to borrow your donkey. Lao Huo said that he had lent it to others. Hardly had he said that when the donkey barked. Huo, I heard the donkey barking. Lao Huo said to his friend, Do you believe me or a donkey?

17, shake your head

In court, lawyer A said a lot. When he saw that the opposing lawyer shook his head frequently to express his disapproval, he said that I wanted to remind the opposing lawyer that I was just expressing my views. The opposing lawyer replied, I also want to draw the attention of the opposing lawyer. I was just shaking my head.

18, grandma took it.

A teenage boy was lounging on the sofa watching TV when the telephone rang. Son, where's your mother? She is mopping the floor. Father shouted, what? She sprained her waist just right, don't you know? Why don't you help? The son replied, there is no way. Grandma took another mop.

19, actor An actor wants to find a job in a stage play. The manager asks what you can do. The actor replied to imitate the bird, manager, are you kidding? You can find a bunch of such people for a dollar. The actor said, oh, forget it. With that, he spread his wings and flew out of the window.

20. Lu Xun is not surnamed Lu.

No matter how much evidence you have, you can't convince an idiot.

I said to an idiot: Lu Xun is not surnamed Lu.

Idiot said to me: What's your last name besides Lu?

I said to that idiot, my last name is Zhou.

Idiot flew into a rage: full of shit! Zhou Xun is a female star. I have seen Love in the Palace starring Ruyi!

2 1, visit of Puyi Palace Museum

Puyi visited the Forbidden City and saw the photos hanging on the wall, saying that it was not the Emperor Guangxu, but the Prince of Alcohol. The staff called the historian in, and the historian said that we specialize in history. Do you understand or do we understand? Puyi said I don't know history, but I still know my father.

22. Keep your promise.

A woman was caught cheating by her husband. Her husband waved his fist and asked before he died, what do you have to say?

The woman said: Now, it's up to you to kill or chop. What's there to say to people like you who don't keep your word?

Husband: When did I break my word?

Woman: Didn't you say you wouldn't come back tonight?

23.report

There is a parent who tries to flatter the teacher at ordinary times and often gives the teacher red envelopes and gifts. The two became good friends. Teachers naturally take good care of their children, and their children did well in the senior high school entrance examination, and they were admitted to a famous high school. After the child got the admission notice, the parents suddenly went to the Education Bureau to report the teacher and produced a lot of evidence. Finally, the teacher was fired.

24. I was a cadre in my last life

The pig cried to the Buddha after being killed. Buddha, I am so wronged. I ate leftovers all my life, sold water all my life, and finally I was killed for people to enjoy.

Buddha said: you didn't listen to the sufferings of the people in your last life, but in this life you have a big ear; You look down on ordinary people, and this life makes you squint; You always talk big, and this life makes your mouth stand out; You always sit in an office, and your limbs are short in this life; There are many mistresses, and a row of nipples will grow in this life; The leftovers we usually eat, the water we drink and the water we sell are all wasted in our previous lives.

The pig said doubtfully, was I a cadre in my previous life?

25. Grass boats borrow arrows

Being dragged into a group of idiots, the discussion was quite hot: the grass boat borrowed an arrow, why didn't Cao Cao put a rocket?

A man who looks like a group owner proudly explained to the children that this is an article written casually by Shi Naian, for the future plot development or something. Brain-dead people send a very admiring QQ expression, saying that the group owner is so powerful, I admire you very much. Finally, a young man stood up and said that the group owner was really awesome. Shi Naian wrote Water Margin. The group was quiet for a while, and then it showed that the member had been removed from the group by the administrator.

26. Buy a new car

A boss bought a new car, but he was very uneasy about the driver he hired. He is worried that the driver will replace the parts of the new car with the old one to make a profit. He can't drive himself, so he has to ask the driver every move. Once he went out by car, the car slowed down and got up soon.

What happened? The boss asked the driver. Nothing, sir. I just changed gears. The boss turned to a friend beside him and whispered, "See? He didn't even ask me to change all the gears. I must give him up. " .