Tell me some jokes that will make my partner laugh. Don't be angry with me!

1, a child cried, and his father said, don't cry. Later, dad will take you to the vegetable market to watch others eat sugar.

2. A candy, walking in the North Pole, felt so cold ~ ~ and turned into rock sugar.

3. A cabbage undressed while walking, and finally disappeared.

4. Two bananas go shopping in tandem. Walking in front of bananas felt very hot, so they took off their clothes. Guess what?

The banana in the back fell down.

5. Have a bike. One day, he rode away. ...

6. The school established the Tibetan Cat Club.

Three years.

They still can't find the colonel.

7. A black cat saved a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later?

It says, "aim ~ ~"

8. Once upon a time, there was a steamed stuffed bun walking on the road. . Suddenly, he felt hungry. Help yourself. . .

9. One day, a big grape and a small grape were walking on the road. The big grape suddenly said to the small grape, can I crush you? Small grapes say: good! As a result, the small grapes were crushed to death.

10, two tomatoes go shopping.

The first tomato suddenly walked very fast, and the second tomato asked, where are we going?

The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again.

The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again.

The first tomato finally slowly turned around and said:

Aren't we tomatoes? Can we talk? !

One day, eggplant was walking in the street and suddenly sneezed a lot. It wiped its nose and said angrily, "Shit! Someone took a group photo again! "

There are 30 frogs in a pool, and only one frog wears underwear. Why? Because he takes a shower! )

There is a pig. He walked and walked until he came to England. What has he become? -Pigs.

In class, the teacher recited the text at will. Piggy, puppy and kitten all raised their hands. Who will the teacher call? -little dog, because want want is humble.

Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipedes, they worked together, which one didn't get paid in the end? -Centipede, because you won't take it for nothing.

The elephant's nose is the longest in the zoo. Who is the second longest? Elephant.

What kind of fruit has the worst eyesight? Mango.

Which two kinds of fruits have mobile phones? -radish and green vegetables, each has his own love.

A turtle walked through a pile of shit, but left only three footprints on it. Why? -There's a foot on your nose.

If there is a car, the driver is a prince and the passenger is a princess, whose car is it? -If

Jin Mu is a land of fire and water, whose legs are long? Ham sausage

Cobra dated the elephant, said hello and said, "Come as soon as you come. Welcome to lead such a big pig. "

An underworld boss caught a glimpse of a young man in an alley and asked him: What is one plus one? The young man was afraid, thought for a long time and said, it's equal to two. The underworld boss quickly took out his pistol and killed him. Leave a message when you leave: You know too much.

I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. He was very sad, so he kept crying, crying, crying .............................................................................................................................................................. ~ ~ ~

Policeman: "Say, what's your name?" Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan." Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? " Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen."

Two jellyfish collided at the seaside. Jellyfish A: "What the hell! You can't swim with your eyes! Jellyfish B: What are eyes? Jellyfish A: I don't know. Last time I met someone, he called me that. Jellyfish B: Oh! That's right! 」

In primary school science class, the teacher told us that knocking on the knee would lead to knee jump. When I got home, I took a hammer and hit it on my dad's knee. And my dad stood up and kicked me. It turns out that the teacher is right!

If one day I become a hooligan, please remember to tell me that I am innocent.

The first lie in life begins with writing a composition in primary school, and the truth begins with writing a love letter.

When the brothers Grimm wrote Snow White, they were very prescient. The man who finally saved Snow White and lived happily with her is called "Prince Charming". And now the female compatriots all want to find the prince charming in their minds, so why pinch it? Because the pinyin abbreviation of Prince Charming is-BMW, or Z series.

A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, "honey, don't be impulsive, we still have a long way to go!" " "Hearing this, the man jumped up with a whoosh. The policeman said, "You really shouldn't threaten him like this! "

Shit and urine are good brothers. One day, I was killed by a car when I took a shit crossing the road, so pee said, I really want to take a shit …

Xiaoming: "Mom, my classmates say my head is so big." Mom: "Nonsense, they are all bad children. Ignore them. Go and buy chestnuts for my mother. " Xiao Ming: "What do you use?" Mom: "Use your hat."

Think of a number in your head, multiply it by two, add five, then subtract the number you thought at first, multiply it by eight, subtract five, and then close your eyes and you can't see anything, right?

A classmate secretly loves a PLMM that he meets every day after school, but he has no chance to get close to it. One day I followed MM to a ramen restaurant, and finally got up the courage to strike up a conversation with her: "What's your name, classmate ..............? "MM:" beef noodles. " ................................................