Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A sentence that makes people laugh.

A sentence that makes people laugh.

A hilarious remark (44 selected sentences) 1. I told my husband to air the quilt in the morning. It's too damp. After a while, I looked at his circle of friends and sent the photos of the quilt to the circle of friends. What's a note? My wife bought it newly. How trendy! ? Just now, someone asked me what brand of lipstick I used. I showed her the way: go straight and turn left at the first crossing. Remember to tell the boss to put more peppers. I quarreled with my mother, and my words were a little extreme. After that, I regretted it, but she said calmly, okay, stop arguing and do whatever you want. After all, it was my fault first, and it was my fault that you became like this. ? 4. Being single for a long time, even when jiaozi sees two sticks together, they should be separated with a shovel. Behind every successful man, there is a woman who has nothing to do but eat. 6. There are few women that men think are suitable for them before they get married, but many women think are suitable for them after they get married. 7. I can cook, do housework and repair electrical appliances. If these skills want to shine on men, they must be set off with special money. 8. I made mutton stewed vermicelli at noon, and my three-year-old nephew liked it very much. I said simply: Is the meat of Pleasant Goat delicious? He directly pulled the meat out of his mouth and cried for more than two hours, and then my mouth was swollen by my father and brother. 9. I sent a message to my dad saying that I was lovelorn. The next day, he called me and invited me to dinner. I asked him: Who are they? Dad hesitated and said, Just the two of us, I don't take your mother, you just fell in love, and I take my wife to fall in love in front of you, which is not good! ? 10. In order to prevent me from puppy love, my mother somehow found a photo of my boyfriend's father and pointed to it and said to me, look, he will look like this in the future. Do you still want to be with him? 1 1. Men who go home early tell stories to their wives; Men who come home late make up stories for their wives. 12. People must not treat themselves badly when they are alive. For example, losing weight is too far from me, and eating a bowl of meat is more practical. Life is so unfair. If you don't eat a meal, you won't lose a gram; After eating a big meal, I gained three pounds. 14. Some people are just not satisfied. They already have double chins and want double eyelids. 15. Don't come across the ocean to see me, just give me your half-year savings to Alipay. 16. It is said that people with big faces have super good temper, because it is really difficult for people with big faces to turn their faces. 17. A beautiful girl was in front of me just now. We looked at each other for a long time, and no one broke the peace. I didn't put down the mirror until my hands were tired. 18. Sometimes I feel that the entanglement between marrying money and marrying love is just like the discussion about going to Tsinghua or Peking University when I was a child. 19. I just patted my wallet, but it's nothing. I just hope it will swell. 20. You just put weighing scale in my face, and I have to eat. 2 1. Women in the new era can enter the hall, climb over the fence, flirt with mistresses and beat up hooligans, but they can't leave the kitchen. 22. Ancient ideals: cultivate one's morality, govern the country and level the world. My ideal: slim down, get married, go abroad and eat all over the world. 23. Someone asked why the attitude changed after catching up, so I asked you: Do you still read after the exam? 24. Don't feel that life is boring. Have you forgotten the fat you've been insisting on? You can still play with your stomach! Don't let any of you speak ill of my friend in front of me, or I will unconsciously follow suit. 26. When someone speaks ill of you behind your back, there are often many people booing, so you don't have to care, because shit is destined to be United and friendly with shit. 27. When someone said they hated me, I immediately laughed. I'm really glad to make you unhappy. 28. Some people say that finding someone you like just likes you, which is happier than winning 10 million lottery tickets. I'm different. I still prefer to win10 million. 29. Don't mess around if you don't look good. Some people pay a lot of money to iron delicate princess rolls, and they look like Newton instead of a princess. 30. Women are either beautiful or hardworking. If they are beautiful and work hard, they can delay a little. 3 1. It seems that we are all at an awkward age, and our children call us uncles and aunts, but we are not convinced. Although our hearts are growling, we can't wait to shoot him. We must keep smiling at him. 32. The quality of the circle of friends at night is particularly high. Mourning, coquettish, drinking, sleeping. Only I am different, I am hungry again! 33. The first thing to wake up every day is to want to sleep. 34. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you. I really envy you. I can be with the person you like. Unlike me, I am surrounded by people who like me. 36. When something happens, I will not rush to blame others, but reflect on myself first. If it is really my fault, I will think about how to pass it on to others! Children are happy when they are sad, but we adults can't. We have to eat a good meal or buy something. 38. People who lose weight must not add any weight loss groups. On the surface, they can encourage each other, but it is useless. If you are not the fattest, you will relax because someone is at the bottom. Buy a globe. The world is so big that you can not only look, but also look around. I can't outrun that BMW after all, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off. 4 1. I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning. 42. Jay Chou said that love is like a tornado. I think this metaphor is very appropriate, because most people, like me, have never seen a tornado in their lives. 43. It was great in ancient times. If you bear too much pressure, you will become a demon, a god and a demon. In modern times, if you bear too much pressure, you will become a neuropathy! 44. When I hate someone, if this person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate each other at all. It's so principled. You can't hate a man with vision.