Why would someone choose to marry someone they don’t like?

Generally this is not the choice. What is life like for people who marry someone they don't like that much?

1. Torturing each other because they don’t love each other

I saw a question on Zhihu: Why are some people very happy after marriage, while others are not happy at all?

Happy marriages are all the same, and unhappy marriages each have their own misfortunes. In fact, there are three states of marriage, one is called torture, one is called make do, and one is called the rest of life.

There is a kind of marriage without love. It has obviously reached the point where it can no longer survive, but it has to be inseparable.

In the end, they tortured each other, consumed each other in a garbage marriage, and lived in pain like years.

When talking about marrying someone you don’t like, you have to mention a famous marriage in the Republic of China - Lu Xun and Zhu An.

Lu Xun was a great literary master in modern times. He abandoned medicine to pursue literature and used his pen as a weapon to fight against the times.

And his first wife, Zhu An, was born in a small businessman's family in Shaoxing, Zhejiang, the same hometown as him.

Zhu An’s family is well off, but he has never gone to school. She was illiterate but had a gentle temperament. Lu Xun's mother liked her very much and decided to arrange her son's marriage.

However, Lu Xun returned from studying in Japan and accepted the baptism of new ideas. He was very resistant to the orders of his parents and the words of matchmakers.

But as a filial son, he finally did not go against his mother's wishes and married Zhu An.

A marriage between two people without a foundation of love and with contradictory ideas will eventually lead to tragedy.

Ju An began her cold married life.

On the wedding day, he lifted the bride's hijab and saw a pale, short and thin old-fashioned woman with bound feet. He numbly went through the complicated rituals of marriage, feeling extremely sad inside.

On the second night of the wedding, Lu Xun slept alone in the study. On the third day, Lu Xun and his second brother Zhou Zuoren left home and went to Japan again.

He never told outsiders about his married life. Although Zhu An paid a lot for that family, Lu Xun was always indifferent to Zhu An. He hardly spoke to her and avoided seeing her as much as possible.

Nominally, Zhu An is Lu Xun's wife, but in fact she is just the nanny of the Zhou family. Her marriage to Lu Xun was neither soul-matching nor equal.

She loved Lu Xun with an extremely clumsy and sad heart. However, Lu Xun said: "She is a gift given to me by my mother. I only have the obligation to provide for her. I have no love at all." I know."

After that, she was even more neglected, lost, and painful. With Xu Guangping, Zhu An no longer even had the chance to take care of Lu Xun. From then on, the only value of her existence in the Zhou family was to accompany her. Her mother-in-law spent the rest of her life.

In their 40-year marriage, she and Lu Xun were unable to communicate with each other even in the most basic aspects of life, and they could only waste time on each other because they did not love each other.

Perhaps it is true to the old saying: in front of people who like you, your shortcomings will turn into advantages; in front of people who don't like you, all your good points will be so unbearable.

A marriage without verbal communication and spiritual resonance is just dead silence.

In a relationship, knowing how to love and enjoying being loved must coexist at the same time. If there is only one-sided giving or one-sided enjoyment, the two parties will be in a state of imbalance for a long time, and they will eventually perish.

Maybe some people don’t need love in their marriage.

But a good marriage still requires a certain emotional foundation. A high-quality marriage is the exchange of souls, spiritual equivalence, and love and care for each other.

2. Make do with each other because of responsibilities

As Qian Zhongshu said:

“Marriage is a besieged city. People outside the city want to enter, and the city is closed. People in it figure it out.”

When we are in love, we always have beautiful expectations and yearnings for marriage.

After getting married, the two of them lived under the same roof every day, living a life of daily necessities. The woman was no longer young and beautiful, and the man was no longer hot. The hot feelings gradually become cold after being neglected bit by bit, and through repeated disappointments.

In the end, my heart became cold and my love was gone. Gradually, conflicts occur frequently, and we get tired of being together for a long time.

When the cinnabar mole that you dreamed of when you got married slowly turned into mosquito blood on the wall, when two people have gone through the mountains and rivers of love, but they still can't achieve the harmonious harmony of love. , we can only settle for the next best thing and respect each other as guests.

When love gradually disappears or never exists, the only thing that can support them is the responsibility and responsibility for marriage.

The two of them were muddle along, living under the same roof, eating together, living together, but sleeping separately. Like two most familiar strangers, two parallel lines that never intersect and rarely communicate their inner feelings.

The husband does not care about his wife's happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy, and the wife does not care whether her husband comes home late or who he is with.

There are no festivals, no surprises, no romance, no communication, no touching, and even no quarrels in their lives.

The two have no love, and are only bound by family interests. They work together to make do with each other.

There is a saying on the Internet to describe this kind of marriage:

They are husband and wife during the day and roommates at night; a good couple in front of outsiders, but a good neighbor at home at night.

A partnership marriage has no feelings, no communication, and no soul. You can get along with it, but it is ultimately difficult to reconcile.

The TV series "In the Name of the People" condenses the epitome of many people's marriages.

Gao Yuliang, deputy secretary of the Provincial Party Committee, was originally a professor at the Handong Provincial University of Political Science and Law. He later abandoned his literary career and became an official. He is a scheming veteran.

His marriage to his wife Wu Huifen is a model in the industry. Both of them have taught at universities and raised an excellent daughter together.

What others see as a role model for a married couple is actually gold and jade on the outside but ruined inside. The marriage between the two is just for each other to get what they need and show it to outsiders. They have the title of husband and wife but exist in name only. Living together, their relationship is worse than that of strangers. Strangers will still maintain polite smiles, but there is only mutual alienation and indifference between them. On weekdays, they act like a loving couple to the outside world, but when they get home, they immediately "reveal their true colors" and walk to different rooms.

Li Dakang, secretary of the municipal party committee, and his wife Ouyang Jing are also very different from each other. He is politically ambitious and only cares about work; he has no taste, does not understand life, and does not understand the heart of a woman. His wife Ouyang Jing is the vice president of the city bank. She has serious petty bourgeoisie and likes to watch the Korean drama "My Love from the Star".

Normally, the couple does their own thing and is busy with their own affairs. Eating and sleeping are not synchronized, and they also miss out on different dreams in bed.