Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Urgent for translation of classical Chinese enlightenment reader 154 ~ 168. ~ & lt
Urgent for translation of classical Chinese enlightenment reader 154 ~ 168. ~ & lt
Yuexi has a bachelor. He built a small house and lived a self-sufficient life. But he is very worried about the intrusion of rats. Rats swagger around the house during the day and squeak at night until dawn. The bachelor accumulated a lot of anger. One day, he came home drunk and was about to lie on the pillow and sleep. The mice seem to disturb him with all kinds of tricks. He can't close his eyes for a moment. In a rage, the man set fire to them everywhere. The mouse was burned to death, but so was the bachelor's hut. The next day, he woke up drunk and didn't know where he went. Longmenzi went to visit him. He said: "People can't accumulate anger!" I only hated mice at first, but I forgot my home when I saw them. Unexpectedly, it caused such a disaster. People really shouldn't accumulate anger! "
155, wucheng whirlwind
In the ninth year of Xining, there was a whirlwind blowing from the southeast in Wucheng County of Zhou En. From a distance, it looks like a horn inserted into the sky. All the trees were uprooted by the wind, and soon the whirlwind swept them into the sky. Soon the whirlwind approached and passed through the county seat, and almost all the houses were swept away. The county magistrate's children and handmaiden were swept to the ground, killing and injuring several people. People's casualties and disappearances are not counted.
156, three hooligans fell into the well.
There is an old woman in the west of the village. There are good plums in her yard. She was often stolen, so she set a trap under the wall and dumped soil like rice fields. There are three scoundrels, A, B and C, who want to steal plums. After dark, A first climbed over the wall and fell into a trap. Clothes and trousers are covered with dirty things, and the smell is very bad. He also looked up and shouted to his companion, Come here, there are good plums here! B climbed over the wall and fell into a trap. Just as he was about to speak, A blocked his mouth and called C. After a while, C also fell in. B and C looked at each other and questioned A. A said, If you don't fall in, you won't laugh at me together!
157, contradiction
There was a man in Chu who sold spears and shields and praised his shield: "My shield is so strong that no weapon can pierce it." He also praised his spear: "My spear is so sharp that nothing can penetrate it." Someone asked him, "What would happen if you stabbed your shield with your spear?" The man couldn't answer. After all, an unbreakable shield and an impenetrable spear cannot coexist at the same time.
158, the death of slugs
Slugs are insects that like to carry things on their backs. When it crawls, it always grabs things and raises its head to carry them. Things are getting heavier and heavier, even if they are very tired. Its back is not smooth, things will not come apart when piled up, and finally it won't get up. Some people pity it and take things from its back. But if slugs can crawl,
159, Mozi is responsible for plowing pillars.
Mozi was very angry with the farming post. The farming post said, "Don't I have something better than others?" ? "Mozi asked," If I want to go to Taihang Mountain and use a good horse or a cow to drive the car, which one do you think I will drive away? The pillar of ploughing replied, "Of course, the good horse was driven away. Mozi asked, "Why do you want a good horse?" "Geng Zhuzi said," because a good horse is worth whipping. Mozi said, "I also think you are worth whipping." "
160, kill two birds with one stone
Bian Zhuangzi found two tigers and immediately drew his sword in his hand, ready to assassinate him. The boy next to him dissuaded him and said, "Look, these two tigers will definitely fight because the meat is delicious. When two tigers fight, the older one will get hurt and the younger one will die. When you kill the tiger, you can kill two birds with one stone. " Bian Zhuangzi thinks that the smaller one will kill two birds with one stone.
16 1, past food
During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, there was a serious famine in Qi one year, and a large number of poor people starved to death because of lack of food and food. A noble slave owner named Qian Ao put some food on the road, waiting for the hungry poor to pass by and give them alms. One day, a man was so hungry that he covered his face with sleeves and dragged a pair of worn-out shoes through. Qian ao took a look and picked up the food in his left hand. Come and eat! The hungry man looked up at him contemptuously and said, "I'm so hungry because I don't eat this kind of food. "Qian ao also felt that he had gone too far, so he apologized to Hungry Han, but Hungry Han refused to eat and starved to death by the roadside.
162, buying shoes in Zheng Ren.
Zheng has a man who wants to buy a pair of shoes. He measured his feet first, and then put the measured size on the seat. He hurried to the market and forgot his measurements. He has got the shoes, but said, "I forgot my size." He went home to get it. When he came back, the market was over and he finally didn't buy any shoes. Someone asked him, "Why don't you try on the size of shoes with your own feet?" He replied, "I would rather believe in size than my own feet!" 」
163, opposite direction
Wang Wei intends to attack Handan. When Liang Ji heard about it, he returned halfway. He has no time to stretch his clothes and wash the dust from his hair. He hurried to see Wang Wei and said, "I came back today and met a man on the road who was driving his car north." He said to me,' I want to go to Chu.' I said,' Since you are going to Chu, why are you going north? He said,' My horse is fine. I said:' Although the horse is good, this is not the way of Chu! He said,' I have a lot of travel expenses. I said,' Even if the toll is high, this is not the direction to go to Chu. He added, "My coachman is good at driving. I finally said,' The better these are, the farther away from Chu! Now the king's every move wants to establish a hegemony and gain prestige in the world; Relying on Wei's strength and excellent army to attack Handan to expand the land and aristocratic the king, the more such actions, the farther away from the king's career. Is this different from the man who wanted to go to Chu but went to the north? "
164, money goes into the bottle
There is a beggar named Hu Meier in Yangzhou. He took a bottle and said to others, "If charity money fills this bottle, you will be happy forever!" " ! The onlookers saw that the bottle was only half full, with ten pence and one hundred pence left, but the bottle was still not full. People were surprised that a rich man passed by and gave a thousand pence, but it was still not full. A good man took a donkey and said, "Give it to a donkey." The beggar nodded and the donkey entered the bottle like a rope, which surprised the whole market. "Answer:" Yes. " The beggar put the bottle aside slightly, and one truck after another got into the bottle. The host was very surprised and wanted to catch the beggar, but the beggar had already hid in the bottle. The shopkeeper broke the bottle, but there was nothing.
165, drowning children rescued
Wu Youle, a native of Shimen, said, "During the reign of Guangxu Chen Geng, I was a magistrate in Qingpu County, and I went back to my hometown on business, so I parked my boat in Yuecheng Town. There is a bamboo fence by the sea, where six or seven children are playing. After a while, a child slipped and fell into the water. Both men and women looked back carefully in surprise. Both sides are too steep to get into the water. Wu Youle tried to move the boat to save people, but the boat was tied tightly and the boatmen went to the hotel on the shore. It was not easy to assemble at that time. I worked for nothing. Just when he was surprised, suddenly a dog jumped into the water, bit the child's clothes and swam to the other side. The dog pulled the child ashore with all its strength, and the child's family ran over and picked up the drowning child. Fortunately, it was all right. This loyal dog's feelings are similar to those of human beings; But how can human beings compare with the courage of this loyal dog?
166, Yongquan couple
There is a man named Yongquan in Yangzhou. He is 30 years old, but he is not married yet. There is an old mother in her seventies who is ill in bed. Yongquan began to work at sunrise in the morning and came back to rest after sunset, never stopping serving his mother. There is a woman in the village, twenty-nine years old, who wants to follow him because of Yongquan. Her parents don't allow it, but the woman tries her best to fight for it. So they eloped together. Ten years later, Yongquan's mother died and they buried her sadly. Neighbors praised them for their filial piety. At this time, my mother was ill, and my brother and sister-in-law disliked her and ignored her. Yongquan said, "You serve my mother as you serve your own. Now your mother is ill. I should take care of you like my mother. " They brought her back immediately. The Yongquan couple served her for five years and even made her mother healthy again. The woman's mother finally understood that "people's good and evil can't be measured by money, but the key lies in their own hearts."
167, Heritage
Once upon a time, there was a farmer who lost his father when he was young and lived in poverty until he married his wife at the age of 30. He works at sunrise every day and rests at sunset, raising children alone and giving money to the poor. When farmers are 80 years old (sick), they can't get out of bed. When he was dying, he called his son and grandson to the bed and said, "I'm dying. I have no gold or silver." There are only two things worth remembering. "So he pointed to a wooden platform and asked his eldest son to open it. Everyone looked at the hoe in surprise, a very ordinary dress. The farmer said, "The hoe is to hope that you will work hard all your life;" Ordinary clothes, I hope you will be frugal and simple all your life. " With these words, the farmer died, and his descendants will always remember his wish. ..
Air billow 168
There was a rickshaw puller who climbed the slope with a heavy load. When he tried his best, a wolf came to bite his ass. If the coachman wants to give up, the goods will go bad, he will be crushed to death, and he will suffer. After climbing uphill, the wolf bit a piece of meat and left. When the driver couldn't contribute, he stole a piece of meat. This wolf is cunning and ridiculous!
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