Tell me some cold jokes.

In 20XX, when an old man was dying, he said to his grandson with trembling lips, "Son … Wait … The complete works of Wu Dong Gan Kun have come out. You must ... burn this book ... for me. I want to have a look next. " The child said, "Don't worry, Grandpa, I will try my best to live to that day." Grandpa closed his eyes with satisfaction after listening to his grandson. 2 1XX, a critically ill old man knelt in front of his grave and burst into tears: "grandson, I have been waiting for the complete works for so many years. I am ashamed of my ancestors! " Say that finish, anger toward, the whole body quiver two quiver will not move. Those eyes are still wide open and die unsatisfied! ! Grandson died and went to heaven. One day, he met God, and God said, I can grant you a wish. He said, "Can you sink the island of Japan?" God said: this is too difficult, change it. Sun Tzu added, "Then I want the Complete Works of Wu Dong Gan Kun." God wiped the sweat from his head and said, "What's your last wish? Give me the globe and let me have a look.

Reading today, I was depressed to see that Emperor Kangxi became the king of a country at the age of twenty-three. But when I saw that the Tongzhi emperor was 23 years old and had died for four years, my heart was balanced.

Wildcat: Sleep wherever you go. Wild dog: Eat whatever you catch. Savage: Love every one you meet.

Looking at beautiful women in the street, looking up is appreciation, looking down is hooliganism.

Some people say that if you bury your girlfriend in the ground in spring, there will be many girlfriends in autumn. I heard that someone believed it and did it. In spring, he buried his girlfriend underground, and in autumn, he was buried underground by a police uncle.

Facing difficulties: not afraid of death, but also afraid of living? Facing danger: are you not afraid of life, but also of death? This is Einstein's theory of relativity. ...

Today, I made an appointment with a female netizen named "Miss Sister". The code word is to hold a rose and look around the date. Seeing a woman holding a rose and looking up, I ran away, surfed the Internet at night and asked her: How did your mother help you meet netizens? ..... From then on, I quietly lay on her blacklist. ..

I slowly discovered that people are goblins! Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If you catch a leprechaun, maybe you can have a barbecue. . .

It has been raining these days. I guess the jade emperor is crying. It must be that his marriage with the queen mother is unhappy. There are two possibilities for this unhappiness. One is that the queen mother has left, and the other is that the queen mother refuses to leave. ...

I know a very beautiful girl on the Internet, and I admire her very much. I went into space to peek at her photo album. When I met the password resistance, I tried to break it, and I came into view. After a few pictures, I collapsed. I restart, re-enter, and then crash. I cried when I didn't turn it on: it's really hard!

March 1 I made a great decision today. I'm going to rob a bank. But this is the hardest decision in my life to make to grab that. Finally, I decided to start with ICBC because the advertisement said: ICBC, the bank around you. It is more convenient to start from the side. .

March 10 now I insist on running 5 kilometers every day in order not to catch up after being robbed.

The son said, Dad? I want to join the army to defend the South China Sea! Deal with America and defend the country!

Father heard a slap in the face and slapped him.

Father: You can't even protect your family, but you still defend your country? What can Americans rob you of? What does it take to defend the country?

Zi: I want to defend the land of my motherland. ...

Father: Where did you originally come from? Even a small house of tens of square meters can't afford it, and even if it can afford it, it only has a temporary use right of 70 years. What about returning the land? Wait until you have the land to defend it!

Son: America wants to annex us …

Father: Don't you want to go abroad every day? Don't you have many classmates who want to go abroad? The merger saved the cost of going abroad.

Zi: After being annexed by the United States, white people have the final say, and China people have become second-class citizens.

Father: The United States elects its president by one person, one vote. If China is to be merged, 65.438+300 million China people will regard him as 200 million white. Who is in charge? The elected president will be from China, and the Americans will not do it themselves.

Zi: If Americans call, they will subvert our people's government. I want to defend the people's government!

Father: "?" (Another slap in the face), who do you want to defend? IRS? Ministry of Finance? Development and Reform Commission? Securities and futures commission? Ministry of Health? Food and Drug Administration Housing Authority? Planning bureau? Family planning office? Urban management? Or the Football Association? If you want to protect these bastards, I won't break your legs. ...

Son: (angrily) I figured it out. If the United States invades, I will open the door and let American soldiers lead the way.

Father: "?" (Another slap in the face), I raised you for nothing, you idiot. So it's your turn to lead the way? Leading cadres have lined up there to lead the way.