Classic best joke

1、? Dad, how do you know my mother? ?

? Your mother jumped into the river at that time, and I happened to pass by, so I jumped in and saved her. Three months later, we got married! ?

? Dad, you are so brave! ?

? Son, you can't learn to swim! ?

? Why?

? Do you want freedom?

? Of course, when I grow up, I will be free, and you can't control me! I have a wife to marry! ?

? Son, don't be silly. Dad regrets now! Dad is so old that he is not free yet! ?

In the evening, the drunk bumped into a lamppost. Passers-by asked: What are you doing?

Drunk: Knock at the door, but the wife won't open it.

Passerby: Knock slowly! Your wife must be at home now. Look, there are lights on it!

There are two mosquitoes in the mosquito net. One is full and the other is empty.

The wife asked her husband, a prosecutor, to fight mosquitoes. The husband made an extraordinary move, killing the fat mosquito with one hand, but holding it back with the other.

His wife asked him why he didn't call.

The husband said: the evidence is insufficient. ?

4. the mother mosquito asked: What's the matter, son?

The little mosquito cried and said, today, the little fly bullied me and called me a bloodthirsty vampire! ?

After listening, the mother mosquito said:? Ignore it! Their family is not a good thing either, they all grew up eating shit! ?

One day, mosquito and mantis joined hands to peep at a beautiful woman who was taking a bath.

Mosquito proudly said: You see, 10 years ago, I stung her twice, and now it is so swollen! ?

Mantis said unconvinced. What happened? /kloc-I kicked her between her legs 0/0 years ago, and now she is still bleeding every month! ?

6、? I didn't say he stole my money. ? This is a sentence composed of seven Chinese characters. If you read carefully, you will find that if you put stress on different words, you can get seven completely different meanings.

7. Is your wife pregnant?

B: I'm pregnant, but it's an ectopic pregnancy, which is very exciting.

Your son looks down on you too much. He thinks you can't afford a house, and he is afraid to live in your wife's womb.

What are you talking about? How do you explain this premature baby?

A: Premature babies also look down on their parents. They were afraid that their parents could not afford to pay for their uterus, so they simply checked out early. ?

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