Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ask everyone some Chinese questions

Ask everyone some Chinese questions

chuáng qián míng yuè guāng

The bright moonlight is in front of the bed,

yí shì dì shàng shuāng

It is suspected to be frost on the ground.

jǔ tóu wàng míng yuè

Raise your head and look at the bright moon,

dī tóu sī gù xiāng

Lower your head and think about your hometown.

In ancient times, there was a man named Wu Gang. His arms were very thick and his voice was very loud. As long as he shouted casually, he could easily pull up a small tree half a man tall from the soil, just like uprooting a small tree. It's as easy as grass. At the same time, Wu Gang is also a very smart person.

But Wu Gang has no patience at all. He started to be lazy after learning the carpenter's trade for three days, and worked as an apprentice in a cloth shop for two days. He thought it was troublesome, so he simply went home and learned to farm. But he still had no patience, so he only planted for two or three days before letting the farmland fall into disuse.

Wu Gang always thought in his heart that he would do something that would be both effortless and great. He had a flash of inspiration and thought that he could become an immortal, so he walked for a hundred days, walking into the mountains alone, and finally found the old immortal with a white beard under the old pine tree. Wu Gang held his fist and He said: "Old god, I walked a long way to find you. Please teach me how to be a god quickly!"

The white-bearded old god touched his beard and said : "Being a god is no joke. You have to put in a lot of hard work. Can you do it?" Wu Gang nodded fiercely and said repeatedly: "Yes, yes, yes." The white-bearded god looked at Wu Gang's sincerity. , and said: "To learn to be a god, you must first know how to treat people's illnesses and relieve other people's pain. Tomorrow you will go up the mountain with me to learn how to collect herbs!"

Wu Gang thought to himself: This is too simple. La! I followed the old fairy to collect herbs and climbed the mountain for ten days in a row. The old fairy told Wu Gang carefully what diseases this herb could cure and what diseases that herb could cure. Before Wu Gang finished listening, his heart was filled with excitement. I was annoyed and shouted unhappily: "Gods should be free and happy, why do you want me to work hard to climb mountains to collect herbs?"

The old immortal smiled and said: "When I climbed mountains to collect herbs, I was thinking I feel very happy when I can help others, and I don’t feel hard at all!" Wu Gang frowned and shouted: "Gods are only happy when they fly around in the sky. What fun is there in climbing mountains to collect medicines?"

Old God Looking at Wu Gang's impatient look, he shook his head and said, "I think you still don't understand the principles of being a god. Let's do this! We won't collect medicine anymore. I'll give you a heavenly book. Read it carefully. Let’s understand the truth about everything in the world.”

Wu Gang took the Book of Heaven and asked, “If you read this book thoroughly, can you become a god?” The old god said, “You Once you understand the truth, you will feel free and at ease in your heart. Then it will be much easier to learn to be an immortal."

Wu Gang was very happy after hearing this and read the heavenly book with the old immortal every day. He read for several days. , Wu Gang couldn't hold back his anger again. The old immortal was talking with gusto, and Wu Gang always dozed next to him. Once, he dozed off and lost consciousness, and actually bumped into the old immortal. Wu Gang woke up with a start, not only Instead of feeling embarrassed, he said plausibly: "As a deity, you can only hold a thin book and read it over and over again."

"What a pity! What a pity!" The old deity was very happy. He said unhappily: "I have been talking about the truth for a month in vain, and you haven't learned a word. Wu Gang, let me ask you, what do you want to do when you learn to be a god?" Wu Gang said without thinking, "I I want to learn to fly, I want to fly to the moon and play!"

"Okay!" The old fairy sighed: "I will take you to the moon, and you close your eyes." The old fairy He raised his fan and fanned it gently, and Wu Gang's body flew up very quickly. He only heard the whistling of the wind in his ears, and he didn't know how long he had been flying before he heard the old god calling his name: " Wu Gang, look around!" The old god tapped Wu Gang's forehead with his fan and said, "This is where you are going to come."

Suddenly, the wind stopped, and Wu Gang quickly opened his eyes. Look, I saw only a piece of bare land, and there seemed to be a big tree next to a pile of stones in the distance. Apart from the big tree, there was nothing. Wu Gang was startled, and pulled the old god and asked: "Is this "Why is this place so desolate?"

The old fairy said with a smile: "Didn't you want to come up to the moon? This is the moon! Have fun!"

Wu Gang was very curious. , walked east and west, and arrived under the big tree. He lazily asked: "What kind of tree is this?" The old god said: "This is a laurel tree, more than five hundred feet high. What are you doing? You will never see such a tall tree in the world

."

Wu Gang had enough fun and said: "Only this laurel tree in the moon can be seen, the others are not fun. I have had enough fun, I can go back!"

The old immortal said: "I helped you fly to the moon just now, now you have to fly back by yourself." Wu Gang blinked and said, "I can't fly by myself! I'm not an immortal." The old immortal pointed at the stone. There was a big ax next to the pile and said: "If you use this big ax to chop down this osmanthus tree, you can become an immortal and fly back to the ground."

Wu Gang was very happy after hearing this. , said: "It's the easiest to cut down a tree. It turns out that being a god is so easy. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Wu Gang picked up the axe, shouted three times, and chopped the tree three times: "Keng! Keng! Keng!" "He put down the axe, wiped his sweat, and looked up the tree again, and found that all the marks of the axe-cut on the trunk had disappeared.

The old god laughed and said, "This laurel tree , also called "Three Hundred Axes". A patient person can chop it down with three hundred axes calmly. An impatient person will chop it down in vain. Once you cut this gap, the ax will be removed. , the gap will grow back immediately."

Unfortunately, Wu Gang was born lazy and lacked patience. As long as he was lazy, the osmanthus tree would grow back, so he had to stay on the moon and keep cutting down the osmanthus tree

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