Requesting English jokes urgently

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

A man Enter the church and talk to God. He asked: "Lord, how much does one million dollars mean to you?" God replied: "One penny." The man asked again: "What about one million years?" God said: "One Second." Finally the man asked: "God, can I get a penny?" God replied: "After a second."

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says

" Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last jumping buddy all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

Four good friends met in the hospital. Their wives were giving birth. The nurse came over and said: The first man said, "Congratulations, you've got twins." The man said, "How weird, I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came over and said to the second man, "Congratulations, you've got twins." Twins." The man liked it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I am the director of 3M Company." Finally, the nurse came to the third man and said: "Congratulations, you have two sets of twins." The man said happily : "It's ridiculous, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel." Three of them were happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as an ant on a hot pot, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what was wrong, and he replied Said: "What's wrong? I work for Qixi Company!"

Haha, one is more efficient than the other.

Osama Bin Lade

n, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that's 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said, "It's 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." said, "Wow! That's a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!

Bin Laden, a Canadian and President Bush were walking on the street and saw a golden lamp. They wiped it After rubbing the lamp, a genie appeared. The genie said: "I want to grant three wishes for each of you." The Canadian said: "I am a father and my son will become a farmer, so I want the land in Canada to be fertile forever." ." The genie said a spell and the wish came true. Bin Laden was surprised when he saw it. He wished for a city wall to surround Afghanistan. The genie said a spell again and the wish came true. President Bush asked: "Genie, please tell me about this wall. "The elf replied, "The wall is 50 feet thick and 500 feet high, so nothing inside can get out and nothing outside can get in." President Bush said, "Wow! That's a big bridge... fill it with water!" !!"

My Baby Swallowed a Bullet

Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do?

Doctor: "Don 't point him at anybody."

Notes

1. to swallow a bullet: swallow a bullet

2. to point at: yes. ..aiming

allybaby

Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly: "Firs

t, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

二 Two hunters went hunting in the forest. One hunter accidentally fell, his eyes turned white, and he seemed to have stopped breathing. The other hunter quickly took out his mobile phone and dialed the emergency call. The operator said calmly: "The first step is to make sure. Your friend is dead. So, the operator heard a gunshot on the phone, and then heard the hunter ask: "What's the next step?" ”

1. we two who and who a?

Which of us is following whom?

2. watch sister cousin

3 ．go past, no mistake past

pass by, don’t miss it

4. you don’t bird me, I don’t bird you

you If you don’t offend me, I won’t offend you either

5. Xiao Ming: I am sorry!

Foreigner: I am sorry too!

Xiao Ming: I am sorry three!

Foreigner: What are you sorry for?

Xiao Ming: I am sorry five!

6. If you want money, I have no; you want life, I have one!

If you want money, you want a life

7. How much do you want a month?

Nanny: 800 yuan, eat you, sleep you.

800 yuan, eat you, sleep you

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