Kneel for jokes.

A farmer was carrying a bucket of shit, and a foreigner saw it. He dipped his hand and asked, how much is this sauce? The farmer didn't speak, and the foreigner was very angry. I thought you wouldn't tell me how smelly your sauce is. I recently fell in love with a girl in the Foreign Languages Department. I send her short messages every day, from morning till night, from lyrical to sad. Seeing that 500 free SMS messages have been sent in the M-Zone this month, I cruelly set up a package of 200 dynamic SMS messages for 15 yuan, but she is still heartless. This makes me very depressed. I don't think about tea (but drink juice), I don't want to eat (but eat snacks), my face is haggard, my mood is low, my spirit is in a trance, and I feel that life is boundless. On this day, a peach blossom prawn buddy pulled me aside and said earnestly. If I had been sober, I would have made up a sentence: If you don't promise, what's the point of living? Forgive me for leaving like this. In another miserable world where it is snowing and nothing grows, I will wait for your reply ... When I was sweating, I kept a rare sobriety-call 10086 immediately to open the super listening service! It took me 500 minutes to be told that I was ready, and sure enough, the zero tone of my mobile phone rang one after another-first of all, mom: son, you can't leave mom. Your mother will be heartbroken without you. Do you have to relax just because she raised you for 20 years? Don't you want to buy a notebook? Mom promised you! Then there is the father at work: son, tell dad which little girl you like? In the past, your father scared your mother like this. Sister: Brother, ouch, it's for mom and dad ... Cousin: Your phone is always busy! I'm relieved to hear your voice now! Best friend YTR: Where are you going? Let's go, man. I'm tired of life. Playboy: Shit, what are you doing, trying to break my back? In fact, you told me ... a girl who once chased me L: Today's sunshine is so bright, I finally waited for your words, I promise! Chinese teacher in senior high school: There is a serious problem with this sentence ... Cousin: If you send me harassment information, I will sue you in menstruation, but I won't sue you if you promise me you won't die first. Basketball friend: Where is this miserable world with heavy snow and nothing grows? Grandma: Son, grandma is confused. Two years ago, when you were admitted to college, grandma promised to give you this golden retriever. Uncle: Promise what? Professor Yu: Hang on, don't say 60 points, I promise you 80 points! Friend MP: Make me die. No man. Didn't I just lend you 500 yuan? I promise to give it to you on Saturday, okay? Monitor: Let's skip class. Didn't I promise not to report to the counselor? You said you would invite me to dinner, but you haven't invited me yet! Roommate Xiao Sichuan: I see, you didn't bring any toilet paper to 1 again, did you? Uncle: Son, why is your heart so fragile? It's not that I won't let you use this car. I'm afraid you are not skilled. Tell you what, I'll drive you on Sunday. Freshman's cousin: Brother, I know you like me since childhood, but we have all studied biology, which is not allowed by law. Head teacher in high school: I've been giving you these novels by Qiong Yao. I told you, I gave it to you after you were admitted to a key university. You are a good student, you should know that the teacher is doing it for you, right? JY: Wow, I'm still so important in your heart! I will think about it. Wait for me. Uncle Meng: Don't scare uncle, uncle has a heart attack! Colleague of Student Union A: Where are you now? Have a sense of the overall situation. I promise to vote for you, but I can't vote for the rest, can I? Classmate Ding Ding: Hello? Hey! Still alive, right? I recommend Building 9, 28th floor. Fast and cool! Netizen Shui Mu Jelly: If meeting someone can save a life, I promise to meet you now, but I am really ugly. A MM I met on the bus: I said I would take another bus with you, but I have never met you. You can't blame me. Internet cafe owner: Do you owe me the internet fee? How much do you owe? If it is less, forget it. A female classmate: I haven't talked to you much yet. It was sudden. Let me think about it, ok? Neighbor Wang: I studied with your aunt for a long time, and I couldn't understand what you said, but you seemed very dangerous, so I called 1 10. A male netizen: Shit, no way, you broke your back. I'm sorry, I really can't promise you. Associate Professor of Philosophy Department: Let me tell you about the meaning of life. Life is the most precious thing for people ... Department Counselor: I now order you to stay stable and go to a safe place! Bookstore owner who works for him in the summer vacation: Come here and pay you now. ............ the next day, I actually, actually answered a full 600 phone calls, and my mobile phone gradually calmed down. I'm thirsty and my body is broken. Just then, the phone rang again. I trembled and pressed the green button, and a sweet voice came over:-You, you, why do you cheat people in such a rogue way? I've been calling your cell phone all day, you know? ! Oh, my God! Online! Yeah! And this method is really worthwhile-the Super Listening Package only costs 15 yuan! Whoo-hoo ~ There are many jokes in it, you can see/