43 classic funny quotations in one sentence _ Laugh and spray

1. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand.

2. Red beans don't grow in the south, but grow on my face. I miss you so much!

3. Say that money is a sin and everyone is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

If the exam can be rewarded by QB, the country would have been rich and strong.

5. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

Don't say sorry to me, because we don't matter.

7. Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backstage are all picked up, and those without backstage are all killed with a stick.

8. Knowledge is like underwear, invisible but important.

9. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!

10, things are often like this, and it is too late to turn back. Even if you are willing to be a bad horse, there may not be a returning grass waiting for you.

1 1, I allow you to walk into my world, but you are not allowed to walk around in my world.

13, I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

14, hands in pockets, nobody loves.

15, everyone loves you, flowers bloom and flowers fall, and the car has a flat tire!

16, it doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

17, our goal: look at money and earn more.

18, although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum.

19, I am convinced that someone will come to this world because of my torture.

20. Parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.

2 1, you must work hard! For your Audi, my Dior.

22. There is no inseparable couple, only a mistress who doesn't work hard.

23, hum, the most rogue in winter, always like to freeze my hands and feet.

24. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

26, people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

28. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me heartache and tired.

29, after breaking up, you when I sacrifice me when you die, finished.

30. If I'm drunk and I don't accept anyone, I'll hold the wall!

3 1, shameless, if done well, it is called excellent psychological quality!

32. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

33. Men don't make money, women are anxious, and men make money and women regret it.

Don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

35. When I love you, you are what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

36. I like you so much that you will die.

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

38. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.

39. Youth is dedicated to the house and middle age to the children.

40, Ming Sao is easy to hide, and it is hard to prevent.

4 1, I forgot to scold you at ordinary times, and I didn't know that I was both civil and military until I hit you.

42. I'm not afraid that my enemies are like tigers, but my teammates are like pigs!

43, piano, chess, painting and calligraphy can't be done, and washing and cooking are too tired.

A funny sentence, 24 classic quotations _ Laugh and spray.

1, elder sister, I estimate that Nu Wa must have poured three catties of iron on your face when giving birth.

When I took out the fly swatter, all the mosquitoes were silent.

Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

If you abolish my present, I will abolish your future.

If you see me, you see a ghost.

I don't want to know that you are ill. Don't be so obvious.

7. The wind is fine. It messed up my hair and blew off your wig.

8. It took me time to pay for my mobile phone before I realized that my words were so valuable.

9. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

10, God gave me ten slender fingers, but I used them to dig my nose excrement.

1 1. You're like a nine-day fairy, but your face landed first.

12, yes, it's a great pleasure for me to be stupid. If you think it's true, I'll pretend to be you.

13, the right way in the world is vicissitudes, don't be too arrogant to live.

14, old people can't fight, children can't fight, women can't fight, and men fight to the death.

15, I don't think you are a qualified friend. You'd better change careers and be my wife!

16, women can't see through their hearts because the meat on their chests is too thick.

17, don't think you are a gourd baby.

18, don't run amok when you are young, but what can you say when you are old?

19, there were many people on the bus, and an evil man roared: Mom stepped on me B!

20. How big your life is, how much homework you have.

2 1. How are you now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

Love your neighbor wholeheartedly, but don't let her husband know.

23, life since ancient times, don't shit, every day is healthy.

When my mother became a swan, you were still an egg.

202 1 classic funny quotations _ one sentence makes you laugh.

1 women like two kinds of flowers best in their lives: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

When the Minister of Family Planning visited the countryside, he met an old farmer and asked, fellow villager, do you know why close relatives can't get married? The old farmer rubbed his hands and said lightly: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe, relatives, it's too familiar to start!

If you want to be rich, raise fewer cadres and more pigs.

The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.

There is no windtight wall, and there is no hanging beam.

When you slip and become a cripple, you turn around and flash your waist.

Give me a fulcrum, and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

If you don't sleep in class, you will get drunk on the wine table.

Nine times, it was really meat buns that beat dogs.

10 When you can't figure it out, think about yourself in China, and everything will suddenly become clear.

1 1 Don't swear to me, I'm afraid you'll be struck by lightning! .

12 someone always says in front of me: live first, then live. But I found that when you are busy with life, life is gone.

20xx Classic Funny Quotations _ One sentence makes you laugh.

13 arrogance can be saved, but inferiority can't be saved. I think I can save it!

14 No money, pigs, money, dogs. Those who have no money eat wild vegetables at home, and those who have money eat wild vegetables in hotels. Those who have no money ride bicycles on the road, and those who have money ride bicycles in the living room. Those who have no money want to get married, and those who have money want to get divorced. Wives and secretaries without money, secretaries and wives with money. Those who have no money pretend to have money, and those who have money pretend to have no money.

15 Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

16 I didn't care, but I did it on purpose.

17 When you are away from home, please remember: Be sure to return Niu B to Niu!

18 My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I didn't have a chance to interrupt her.

19 Summer is just not good. I didn't even drink a northwest wind when I came!

Ordinary income is the safety belt to maintain normal families, and high income is the atomic bomb to destroy normal families.

2 1 people's ability to make fakes made me give up the idea of making fakes.

Writers despise online literature, so they all act as pornographic online writers and take the curve to save the country.

Accompany chat and provide on-site service at night. (epitaph)

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

The rice is in the pot and I am in bed.

Have you ever been thrown three times after you were born, but only been caught twice?

The foreign girl who doesn't go to our school doesn't know that she is a bird. No wonder Zhao Chuan was so sad when she sang this song.

No matter how old people are, they are young in front of money.

When she was 29, her parents always believed that the ugly duckling 18 would become a white swan! One day when she grew up, her father looked at her intently and said seriously, son, you'd better study hard.

Reduce the number of boys behind each girl to six!

3 1 The seminal vesicle is not empty, and I swear not to be a ghost!

My girlfriend and I are separated. In fact, our sex life is quite harmonious. I am impotent and she is indifferent.

I am an angel, and I can't go back to heaven because of my weight!

I often tell myself not to hang myself in another tree, and as a result ... I got lost in the forest!

Don't talk to me about ideals, okay? I quit!

I have a cool mini skirt, but unfortunately my legs are not mini enough.

For me, living is a compromise with God.

It's great to live in silence once in a while, but it's miserable to live in silence.

39 days is a big place, but the house just doesn't reduce its price.

There is no windtight wall, and there is no hanging beam.

4 1 When I love you, you hit me and scold me, but I put up with it. I do not love you anymore. Please touch me again.

The real society ruined my chance to be a good person.

25 classic funny quotations in one sentence _ Laugh.

1, personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

2, I want to puppy love, but it is already late.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

4. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

I am not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't say so much as you like.

6. Don't wait until everyone says you're ugly before you realize that you're really ugly.

7. As long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

The important task of the post-80s generation is to make the post-80s generation.

9, planting grass does not make people lie down, it is better to replant cactus!

10, the government is thinking about how to collect taxes reasonably, the boss is thinking about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I am thinking about how to sleep reasonably!

1 1, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

12, when a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

13, my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

14, take off your clothes, I am an animal, put on your clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

15, how far is it forever? Get out, boy!

16, I met a writer's signature: it may or may not look like it. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

17, the difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

18, after reading the language of 10, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

19, flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

20. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

2 1. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

22. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

23. clap your head to make a decision, and clap your chest to ensure that you leave.

24, eat properly, you have the strength to lose weight.

25. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

26. Give me a little sunshine, and I will rot.

27, men fool women, called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

28, people have a plenty of background, and I only have a back ~ ~.

29, ask you how much worry, just like a group of eunuchs on the brothel.

30. Gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.