Why don't you want to tell others the pain in your heart, for fear that others will laugh?

Because up to now, there is no intimate friend in your heart, no friend who can really understand you and care about you. Maybe you think it's better to keep something in your heart than to tell others. In fact, sometimes you say unpleasant things to others, and people who don't trust you will talk about you everywhere, making you feel even worse.

In fact, if you have such concerns, you can develop the habit of keeping a diary. If you can keep an animal, you can treat them as friends, which will make you feel better and won't let others know.