Are there any jokes about women?

At the dinner party, rocket experts revealed to everyone, "Recently, we are going to send some mice to Mars." After saying his word, a beautiful woman interrupted him and said, "It's too expensive to kill mice like this!"

Women act on intuition, feel that this is the case, do not investigate and study, and think irrationally.

Chairman Mao once said that without investigation, there is no right to speak. Women can still talk when they have no right to speak. They feel good about themselves and don't take other people's opinions seriously at all, especially beautiful women.

2. The female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard and then asked, "What's this, little friend?" The children said in unison, "Donkey!" The female teacher ran out of the classroom crying and complained to the principal: "Children laugh at people!" The headmaster came into the classroom and said with a serious expression, "Why did you make the teacher cry?" Ah! And drew an ass on the blackboard! "

I smeared apples on my ass, and I have no face to cry or complain. That's great. Nowadays, women like to find fault with others, and the more they think about it, the more wronged they are. As the saying goes, to err is human. Sages make mistakes, but women don't. They are always right, even if they are wrong, it is a correct gesture.

The daughter told her mother that her boyfriend committed suicide by taking sleeping pills because her mother opposed her falling in love with her boyfriend. Mother was shocked: "Suicide?" The daughter said, "Fortunately, he took the wrong medicine and didn't die." Mother said, "I told you long ago that he is so careless and careless that he can't achieve great things." You see, even this little thing is wrong, how can you entrust it for life? "

Don't expect women to admit their mistakes, they have no habit of admitting them. If you make a thousand mistakes, they have a thousand reasons to excuse themselves. So what if life is at stake? It's still her.

A woman walked into the post office, asked for an electronic newspaper, wrote it and threw it away. I asked for a second one and then threw it away. After the third letter was written, she handed it to the operator and asked him to send it as soon as possible. After the woman left, the operator became interested in these three telegrams. The first page says: It's all over, and I never want to see you again. On the second page, it says: Stop calling and never see me again. The third part is: Take the nearest train and I'll wait for you.

If the first two telegrams are sent, everything will be over. What can be sent out is the third letter, and the end point becomes the starting point. Churchill said that there are two things in the world that are the most difficult to deal with. One is the wall that falls on one side, and the other is the woman that falls on the other side. If a woman really falls to the other side, let go. But sometimes, they waver. When she says she hates you, she may already have you in her heart; When she said she didn't hate you, she might have forgotten you. You can't take her words seriously. Because they are capricious, you have to rely on luck to deal with them.

A blonde got on the plane and sat in the first class. The stewardess came to check in and told her, "Your ticket is in the coach class. You can't sit here." The woman said, "I am white and beautiful. I want to fly first class to Los Angeles. " The stewardess was helpless and had to report to the team leader. The team leader explained to the beauty, "I'm sorry!" You didn't buy a first-class ticket, you can only take a regular class. " "I'm white and beautiful. I want to fly first class to Los Angeles. " Beauty still repeats that sentence. The captain had no choice but to call the captain again. The captain leaned over and whispered a few words to the beauty, who immediately stood up and strode to the ordinary cabin. The stewardess was surprised and asked the captain what he said to the beautiful woman. The captain replied, "I told her that first class would not go to Los Angeles."

Such an IQ wants to fly first class, which is outrageous! Some people say that beautiful women don't study. What can I do without studying? Lean on your face. White beauty, with these two, dare to mix first class, justified.

6. A beautiful salesgirl went door-to-door to sell washing products, which was a great success. When someone asked her for sales promotion skills, her eyes lit up and she said, "It's very simple. I visited when both husband and wife were at home, explaining the purpose to my husband and introducing the performance and characteristics of the product in detail. Finally, tell him that you don't need to buy it right away, you can wait until the next time you come. At this time, the hostess next to me often showed a positive attitude and quickly bought my things. "

Maybe you can find a woman who doesn't eat, but you will never find a woman who is not jealous. The nourishment of vinegar makes women exquisite. Maybe they don't have much wisdom, but they have enough skills and brains.

7. Two women met in the street. A said, "I received a subpoena from the court, saying that there is an important case for me to testify in court tomorrow." B asked, "Do you feel nervous?" A said, "I'm very nervous. I don't know what to wear. "

Women are good at making big things smaller, as small as dressing, makeup, relationships and other details. Men read biographies of great men and watch political struggles; Women read biographies of great men but harem affairs. Men regard career as life, while women regard life as career. Fashion and decent clothes are an eternal topic for women, from which they find confidence, satisfaction and happiness.

8. A woman has a son and a daughter, but she only buys new clothes for her daughter and lets her son wear the old ones. Someone laughed at her partiality, and she explained, "If you export, you should pay special attention to the packaging."

If this man goes into business, he will make a fortune. Marriage transactions also require business acumen, so her wisdom is not useless. Watching TV that day, a beautiful woman said to her companion in a cynical tone, "Aren't we women just a man's dress?" It's not very nice, but it makes sense. First, women can't hide in clothes without this kind of packaging. Second, women pursue clothes and men pursue women.

9. A woman put her marriage certificate in an envelope, and then wrote four words humorously: long-term meal ticket.

There is a popular saying that it is better to marry well than to do well. Marriage is a shortcut, and everything you want is "effortless". Of course, you have to have the capital to get married. Usually, women exchange their youth and beauty for men's wealth and power. A woman who only changes a "long-term meal ticket" must not be a beauty. Otherwise, she can switch to an ATM.

10, a fan said cheerfully to his girlfriend: "Playing football is like hooking up, it takes a lot of effort. If a pair of feet can stick to the football like candy, it will be successful. " The girlfriend said, "Then what? Kick it away! "

Women are insecure and always worry about being abandoned. Why don't men have such troubles? Because men's personality and life are independent. So why can't women be independent? Why do you have to be attached to others?