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Who can tell jokes?

1, three rabbits poop, the first one is long. The second one is just spherical. The third one is actually triangular. Asked what happened, it replied: I pinched it with my hand. 2. The child asked his mother, "How to make sentences with ABCDEFG?" Mom: "A! Is this child B from the C family? Standing barefoot on D, EF is not wearing, and little GG is still exposed! 3. A: I never say it twice. B: What? A: I never say it twice. 4. The white rabbit met the wolf. The little white rabbit said wolf, wolf. Ask me if I am a white rabbit. Ask me quickly! ! ! ! The wolf said, are you a white rabbit? The little white rabbit is very happy. Yes, yes, I am! ! ! Then the little white rabbit said, Wolf, Wolf, you ask me if I am a giraffe, you ask me! ! ! ! The wolf is helpless. All right. . . that . . Rabbit, are you a giraffe? Hit him on the back of the head, you idiot I told you I was a white rabbit! ! ! Apple and pear used to be good friends, but later the apple moved away, so they met for ten years and returned to this place. Ten years later, the apple returned to this place, but after a long time, the pear did not appear, and the apple waited and waited,,,,,,,. 7. Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid. Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat. The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions. Squid is very happy to say: you take the exam! Then the man roasted the squid ... 8. In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune. Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music? "Xiaohua:" Yes "Xiaoming:" Do you know what the teacher is playing? " Xiaohua: "Piano. "9. One day, a mother-in-law took a bus ... halfway through, her mother-in-law didn't know the way ... Her mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, Where is this? Driver: This is my ass ... 10. I just saw something like a news scroll bar above my senior's computer screen, and the words on it spread quickly. I am curious to ask: Is this the lyrics? Senior: Yes! Senior: How did it pass so quickly? I didn't even see it clearly! Senior: From Jay Chou! ! 1 1, college entrance examination chemistry questions: A and B can be transformed into each other, B can generate C in boiling water, C can be oxidized into D in air, and D smells like rotten eggs. What are a, b, c and d? I replied: A is a chicken, B is a raw egg, C is a cooked egg, and D is of course a rotten egg! 12, ants went to the desert, why didn't they leave footprints in the sand, but only one line? Answer: Because it rides a bike! The ant came home from the desert. He didn't inform anyone, but his family knew he was back! Why ah! Answer: I saw his bike parked downstairs ... 13. One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a ride. The car is running out of gas, and there is a gas station next to it. When driving by, a sudden gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away. Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her, "I'll take off my hat and you cheer me on." "My boyfriend was about to run when she heard Xiaomei shouting behind her:" Come on! Come on! 14 There was a fat man .......... who jumped from a tall building ... What was the result ... Answer: Fat man ... there was a penguin whose home was far from the polar bear's. If he walks, it will take 20 years to get there. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He was going to play with polar bears, so he went out, but on the way, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, but the door still has to be locked, so the penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " "As a result, when the polar bear opened the door, guess what he said?" Let's go to your house to play ~ "16, there is a person with a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor, "I pull everything I eat, eat watermelon and cucumber!" " The doctor thought about it and said to him, "I think you have to eat shit!" "17, a sausage was locked in the refrigerator and felt very cold. Then I looked at the other one next to me and felt a little comforted. I said, "Look, you are frozen like this, and you are covered with ice!" " As a result, Root said, "Sorry, I'm a popsicle. "18, a little boy came home from school, leaned out of the window and looked at a woman lying in bed rubbing her chest and shouted, I want a man, I want a man! The next day, the little boy found a man lying on the woman outside the window, so the little boy went home to lie on the bed and rubbed his chest and shouted, I want a bike! I want a bike! (This I collapsed! ! Where's mopper? ) 19, two people went to the mountain to play. One person accidentally slipped and fell off the cliff. His companion anxiously shouted, "How are you, brother? Are you okay? " I only heard the person who fell answer, "I don't know, I'm still falling ~ ~ ~" 20. Watching CCTV's "Jianbao" program, the hostess said: This gentleman sitting in the first row, please show your baby to everyone! 2 1. When Jiao Lizhong, the new director of CCTV, commented on the program of the Spring Festival Evening on 20 10, he heard Little Tiger sing "Love" after adaptation and praised the staff around him: I think this song is good. Through our Spring Festival Gala, it will definitely be popular in the future! 22. Why do boys have a lot of GF to envy and girls have a lot of BF to despise? Because just like a key can open many locks, it is called a master key, and a lock can be opened by many keys, which shows that there is something wrong with this lock. 23, five children share a cake, only three knives are allowed, how to divide it equally? Answer: Cut a child to death with one knife, and then cut the cake into four parts with two knives. . . 24. In biology class, the teacher asked: How can we correctly distinguish the hands and feet of an octopus? Answer: Give it a fart to smell. Is the hand will cover your nose, and the rest is your feet. The whole class collapsed. It is said that there are three obvious signs before the earthquake: 1. Abnormal well water; 2. Abnormal reaction of livestock; 3. Experts come out to refute rumors. But careful netizens pointed out that the second and third articles are repetitive. 26. A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak meet in the street. Why don't they say hello? (Assuming they can talk) Because ... they are all strangers ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 27. A parrot hangs in front of a restaurant. When the guest arrived, he said, "Hello, welcome!" " "A regular thought, I hurriedly go in and see how you react. One day, he ran in and the parrot said, "CNMD! You scared me! ! ! "28. In 2046, South Korea's space science and technology advanced by leaps and bounds, and launched a satellite around Mars. As a gift, a Korean satellite airdropped a Korean myth on Mars, which caused a sensation among Martians. Martian A: Gee, the book says that we are descendants of Koreans. Martian B: This at least explains the origin of our species. Martians A (crying): No wonder we are so ugly ... Dong "... Korean satellite airdropped another Korean cosmetic surgery guide ... 29. Brushing your teeth is a sad and happy thing, because you have a cup in one hand and a washing appliance in the other. 30. Q: What has three heads and one foot? Answer: it's a three-headed monster! ! ! ! ! ! It's all cold jokes. I hope you will be happy after reading it. (* _ _ *) Hee hee