Three hours of funny jokes in English

A criminal was brought before a judge for trial. The judge asked him, "What crime did you commit?"

The offender said, "It's too early to go shopping for the New Year."

The judge said, "This is not a crime! Maybe, what's wrong? So how early do you go shopping? "

He replied, "The shop is not open yet, and I am already in it."

A prisoner was brought before a judge for trial. The judge asked him, "What crime did you commit?"

The prisoner said, "Because I went shopping too early for the Spring Festival."

The judge said, "This is not a crime! Maybe it was a mistake? Then how early do you go shopping? "

He said, "I went in before the store opened."

I'm here to install the telephone.

A young businessman just started his business and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man walk into the outside office. The businessman wanted to appear busy, so he picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big business to do. He threw out huge numbers and made huge promises.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Of course. I'm here to install the phone. "

A young man just started a business and rented a beautiful office. One day, sitting in his office, he saw a man outside, so he pretended to be busy with business, picked up the phone and kept throwing out several big numbers, as if talking about a big deal.

Finally, he hung up the phone and asked the visitor, "What's the matter?" The man replied, "I've come to install the telephone for you."

I've been trying for years. I've been trying for years.

A man came to the police station and wanted to talk to the thief who broke into his house the night before.

"You will have a chance in court." The police officer on duty said.

"No, no,no." The man said. "I wonder how he got into the house without waking my wife. I have been trying to do this for many years. "

A man came to the police station to talk to the thief who broke into his house yesterday. The policeman told him, "You will have this chance in court."

"No, no, no," said the man, "I just want to know how he managed to sneak into my house without waking my wife. I have been trying for many years, but I have not been able to do this. "

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