Funny and humorous short sentences

1. Ask some humorous sentences to be your friend for so long. You always care about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you.

therefore ...

Be a cow and a horse in the next life.

I will definitely pull up the grass for you to eat.

I miss you very much, but I am embarrassed to call you. I'm afraid you're busy, you ignore me, you think I'm harassing me, and I'd like to contact you, but ... the phone bill is really expensive. Please call me! -Old Guerrilla 3. If you were a meteor, I would chase you. If you are a satellite, I will wait for you. If you were a star, I would fall in love with you. Unfortunately.

You are an orangutan ~ I can only see you in the zoo! ! Alas.

What a pity! ! 4. Now I am in a mess.

I don't know what I was thinking.

My brain is bored to death.

I really don't know what to do. .

Can you tell me.

I really don't know whether to eat Regan Noodles or Ah Q bucket noodles! -Old guerrilla 5. Thank you for being with me when I was most frustrated and helping me when I needed help most. I just want to tell you: "since I met you, nothing good has happened!" You are a loser! " -Old Guerrilla 6. I'm sorry to text you so late ~ ~ If it bothers you ~ ~ I'm here to say ~ ~ You deserve it ~ ~ Who told you to go to bed earlier than me? ~ ~ hehe! ! 7. Meeting you is my inner desire to fall in love with you. Having you is my happy choice. It is my most precious wealth. Stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation to love forever. It is your regret that I passed it on to the wrong person. 8. Because of you, I believe that maybe all this is destiny takes a hand, which brings us together. Now, I really want to say … what evil did I do in my last life! 9. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! Do not thank 10. God saw that you were thirsty and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice. God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way. 1 1. If it is stipulated that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you.

Till death do us part, I have no regrets! But there are no rules ... then forget it! Jytj 12。 Miss you is a happy thing! Nice to meet you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! But I lied to you, and it just happened! Ha ha! Jf 13。 The phone rings, which means I'm thinking of you! Two voices mean I like you! Three voices mean I love you! Jyhf When the seventh sound rings … Shit, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone! 14. According to statistics, it exceeds 99. 9% people who look like pig heads use thumb buttons to read text messages! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late.

Pig head! Hahaha 15. I wrote your name in the sky, but it was blown away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; I wrote your name in every corner … fuck, I was taken away by the police! 16. If it's a mistake to look good … then I'm all wet. If loveliness is a crime … I have committed a heinous crime. It's hard to be a man! ... you will be fine ~ Yes, there is no sin ... I really envy you 17. When the white clouds pass by, it is the trace of my missing you; That's how I miss you when the sun shines. When the rain falls, it is proof that I miss you. When it thunders, it's when I pray to heaven that you are hit. .

Haha-18. If I can meet you if I burn incense for one year, I can know you if I burn incense for three years, and I can cherish you if I burn incense for ten years, I will, for the happiness of the next life.

Convert to Christianity.

2. Use common humorous sentences 1. Relax, I'm not a good person. ...

2. Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking all the way.

3. I have been suffering from insomnia recently, and I wake up every 16 hours.

Everyone says I am ugly, but in fact I am beautiful.

I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before bullying him …

6. A gentleman is just a patient wolf.

7. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me? !

8. Why not find a quiet place and count the brain cells by yourself?

9. I am relieved to know that you are not doing well.

10. Life is only three days, and people who live in yesterday are confused; Those who live in tomorrow wait; People who live in the present are the most practical.

1 1. The road to success is always under construction.

12. I really want to make money into my hobby.

13. The boy I once loved had the most handsome back in the world.

14. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

15. The sign of immature men is that they can make heroic sacrifices for their ideals, and the sign of mature men is that they can live humbly for their ideals.

16. There are always a few mistakes in the long road of life.

17. I want the whole world to know that I am low-key.

18. I accidentally want to grow old with you.

19. It's brave to face his face without makeup.

20. Wear cheap goods and Wenzhou shoes, and the whole body adds up to no more than 200 yuan. Only the bag in hand can be regarded as a high-grade leather bag, because its English name is "Gaojipibao".

2 1. There is love besides teeth.

22. Don't say love to others easily, don't stubbornly open other people's hearts, just make a joke and leave.

Most people want to change the world, but few people want to change themselves.

3. Urgent, a famous saying about humor. Zan ● Lu Xun: It is naturally a good tactic to deal with the enemy with jokes, but it must be fatal to the opponent it touches, otherwise the joke will be just a simple joke. ● Lin Yutang: I wonder if the world has ever experienced the importance of humor, or the possibility that humor can change our whole cultural life-humor is political and academic. Its position in life. Its function is chemistry rather than matter. It has changed the basic organization of our thoughts and experiences. We must acknowledge its importance in national life. ● Qian Zhongshu: A truly humorous person has a unique understanding, smiles happily alone and takes a breath for a boring life. ● Wang Meng: Good humor can not only make you laugh, but also make you cry. If you cry too much, your tears will be fall in price, so you will be happy if you cry all your tears. You can still see the author's solemn and sincere soul when you laugh. Maybe the pain of humor is not weaker than the pain of pain ● Qian Renkang: Humor is the light of all wisdom, shining in the spirituality of ancient and modern philosophers. Anyone with a sense of humor is smart and shrewd. They will use humor to solve all difficult problems and arrange every situation calmly and properly.

4. Does anyone know humorous sentences? The more the better? One slip and you become a cripple, and then you turn around and flash your waist.

Looking for him in the crowd, suddenly looking back, the man still shrugged off me.

Stick to the wall and pull it out resolutely.

Ah ~ nothing, just when I went to the grave on Qingming, I suddenly thought of you. So many people are dead, why don't you die?

Playing with feelings? I will make you cry rhythmically.

What you say when you like you is what you say when you don't like you.

The longer you have contact with people, the more you like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people!

Bitch is always a bitch, even if the economic crisis, you can't be expensive!

Don't pretend to be happy with me, and don't wish me happiness. Are you qualified?

Spitting is used to count money, not to reason.

Don't see what you shouldn't see, don't say what you shouldn't say, don't listen to what you shouldn't hear, and don't think about what you should do.

I'm not God, I'm just Jesus' father. Is God a man or a woman?

You tell me to get out, I'll get out; You asked me to come back. Sorry, I'm leaving.

When a fellow villager sees a fellow villager, he gets shot in the back.

Modesty makes people progress, progress makes people proud, pride makes people lag behind, and backwardness makes people modest. A vicious circle, wasting time

I never hold grudges, but I usually report them on the spot.

If you were a flower, cows would not dare to shit in the future!

Nine oranges were distributed to 13 children. How to divide it fairly? -Killed four children.

If she (he) says to you, "forget me." You tell each other, "I never remember."

Sometimes I feel like a good person, too.

The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: * What can I do? Step on it and pay the price.

The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

My primary school life (in humorous sentences) is fleeting. Today, after graduation, I can't help but recall everything before ... I still remember the time I went to the weather station. We learned a lot about how the weather forecast came from and why we put the long thermometer on the wet and soft land. I know why the balls on the pillars as high as the iron tower keep spinning ... Then we ate in groups, played games, listened to music and shared * * *. On the way back to school, we sang pop songs exaggeratedly. I can't forget those people and things. It's happy. Remember the last regretful sports meeting. In this activity, we are completely sure. Why? Because we have the title of "strong sports class", isn't it a shame not to be the first? However, the result was unexpected, and we lost, just like missing the ball. In the sixth grade, because of the heavy schoolwork, we only had two group activities. When we jumped the long rope, we were clearly the first, but there were less than a dozen referees. Through our understanding, it turns out that the teacher is in Class One. We were unhappy and secretly scolded her. We were going to discuss it, but in the end we just talked and didn't do it. The stick was dropped in the face-to-face relay. Like a stone thrown on the calm water, it caused ripples. In the blink of an eye, my eyes were covered with a layer of fog and the liquid fell down. My mood fell from the trough and returned to the classroom silently. Only the teacher comforted us. I can't forget those people and things. Sadly, ........................................................................................, I said let's remember each other and never forget each other! All good things must come to an end. We will part eventually, but we will never forget, forget those wonderful six years, because we agreed, right?