Brief introduction to the story of 33 days of lovelorn love

I'm so scared that I can't control myself. I want to hit the wall, throw things and scream. I open the phone's address book, who I want to talk to, as long as it's a person, as long as I can reply.

But this person is not on the long contact list.

This is also the evil result that I planted when I was addicted to love.

The fourth day

For three days, I have been warning myself not to fall into that bottomless pool of memories. Once you step in, you will be beyond redemption, and you will definitely have to toss it beyond recognition before you can come out.

Fifth day

"The two of us, may really not fit together. You scold me, this time, I am willing to listen to your most vicious curse and meanness from beginning to end. "

I can't say a word. I heard the sound of foam bursting in the distance. I know this is my humble desire, hijacked by my self-esteem.

sixth day

I can chase him and swear, or kneel down to keep him. However, I was deprived of all the right to resist by my great self-esteem. I try to tell myself that if one day, he doesn't love you anymore, then it's wrong for you to be pitiful and angry. You and he are breathing on the same earth, and your fate is wrong. Maybe you can die for him? Ha, that was a mistake that made him come back in the middle of the night to curse.

Unconsciously, we came here, except for leaving with a handsome back, everything we did would only show a gesture full of loopholes.

Eighth day

Eight days have passed in a blink of an eye. During these eight days, I could have grabbed his skirt and cried, or spilled sulfuric acid on my best friend's face, or cut myself with a knife. But I didn't do anything. I even restrained myself from remembering. My mood is more cautious and self-disciplined than before. I did the first step without giving any appreciation to the drama lovers or any exciting feedback. I did this step.

But it also took me all my strength.

Just like gecko's escape instinct, when in danger, it will never struggle and run away immediately. But what really tortures people may be the process of the tail growing back.

I don't know how to move forward. If I expect him to turn back, even the most unbearable dirt on me may look down on me; You can try your best to be sad, and the result is that your body betrayed me.

the ninth day

"Do you know why this sounds bad? Because of the force, after we put the bow on the string, you should first completely relax yourself. When we pull the bow, don't push too hard, but don't completely relax. When you combine these forces, the sound you pull out will be beautiful. Shall we try again? "

The children began to practice again, and I froze and fell into a trance.

You can't push too hard and you can't relax completely.

Apart from playing a perfect voice, what else in this world is not done according to this requirement?

I talked about my love so hard, and finally I played a vulgar and bitter love song about Kubinashi's sudden death.

Tenth day

I caught up with him and ran very fast.

I want to catch that car. I have something to say to him. I'm going to ask him. I know what I did wrong. Can you wait for me for a moment? I let you walk step by step without dignity. In order to punish me, I'm even willing to roll all the way to your feet and be an equal with you from now on. could you wait for me ？ The road ahead is too dangerous. Of all the people in the world, you are the only one who makes me feel safe. Please don't give up on me like this. Please don't give up on me.

I have to tell him.

I don't want my broken self-esteem, my self-confidence is totally groundless. I can show you how humble I am now. Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Please forgive me.

Sanal said something that I always thought was extremely mean but extremely accurate: nothing in the world is dirtier than self-esteem.

At this moment, I suddenly realized that even if I am dirty, I need this self-esteem to accompany me for the rest of my life.

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Now all cherished memories are hard to distinguish between true and false. Just standing in the same place, I don't know when the crowd will surge, and I will be trampled on my feet in an instant.

Every minute I am telling myself and driving myself forward. I say I'm sorry for the past and I will hide in the abyss of memory, not that I don't miss it. It's expensive. I can't afford it.

Sitting in this clear and empty space, I had the courage for the first time and began to look forward to the feeling that "the canoe has crossed Chung Shan Man".

Thirteenth day

Yes, a lot of things didn't happen. First, people were killed, but they left a scar the size of a bowl. Even if the earth exploded, it would be a spectacular free fireworks of aliens. But if you look down from the universe at this moment and look at me as big as dust through the bitterness mixed with clouds, I am throwing away these clothes, then clap my hands and turn away without looking back. Do you see, I'm laughing, because I'm finally willing to move forward cleanly, which is the first step I can do at the moment.

Sixteenth day

When I'm running around all day just to get a good sleep, I don't care so much if there is anyone in bed who can say good night to each other.

I could have made the quilt into a human figure, and then whispered in the quilt ear of people here, hey, good night.

Yes, this humanoid can't talk.

But it won't snore in my ear until dawn.

Pale days, no ups and downs, but for me, it is the safest and most harmless day. I hope there will be more days without touching the wound. Don't laugh at me, because I have no dreams like salted fish. My life was terrible under the heavy blow. Can my dream be good?

Hey, good night.

Seventeenth day

I had a dream with him in the morning.

In the dream, he hugged me from behind and I slept peacefully like a cactus.

He whispered in my ear, "Fairy, Fairy, get up."

I put my head into the pillow and stretched out five fingers. "Five minutes, and then sleep for five minutes."

He took away the pillow and whispered, "The train can't wait for you for five minutes."

I made up my mind that life would be incomplete without these five minutes' sleep. I tugged at the pillow. "Go away! I can't catch this train, I'll take the next one! "

An old fan hung on the roof, swinging slowly, bringing clusters of shadows. He said, "Little Fairy, I'm leaving first."

I said vaguely, "You go first. You go first. I will pick you up at the station. "

"With so many people, you may not meet me."

"Stop talking to me, will you?" I interrupted him impatiently. "Go home if you don't see him."

He gently released his arm around me and got up and got out of bed.

I suddenly felt a chill behind me.

He got dressed, opened the door and paused for a few seconds. In these few seconds, I can feel his eyes fall on my back.

He said, "Fairy, you will regret these five minutes."

Hijacked by sleepiness, I remained silent. "Go ahead, I still have many, many five minutes in my life."

He bumped into the door gently and left.

The coolness spread behind me, and I suddenly woke up. I want to get up at once, jump out of bed to open the door and tell him to wait for me.

After such a struggle, I woke up from my dream. As in the dream, I am the only one in the room, but slightly different from that dream, I am the only one in this room.

Ahao

He turned around and saw me in the crowd again. I smiled at him, as Wang Xiaojian asked, gentle, restrained and coquettish.

He gave me a hard look, too, with no impurities in his eyes and full of hatred.

Yes, don't pity me, don't think of me as soft-hearted: "Oh, how mercilessly I hurt her." Every time I think that the tail left by this relationship is so tender and sentimental, I feel that I have been slapped. I don't care about your apology. I don't care if you say you owe me a lot. This is the kind of reciprocal relationship I want. In a relationship, we really love each other. In the end, we really hate each other. You are unfriendly and unfair. I want you to know that we are always evenly matched.

Twenty-third day

I sat on the last bus home and looked out of the window. The scenery of Chang 'an Avenue is really good. It's great, because it will never change. Those magnificent buildings, increasingly dim neon lights, and tourists smirking and taking pictures in front of Jinshui Bridge will never change.

Once, he and I took the bus every day and passed the stage where we first kissed. This street is also a small attraction in our love story. When we are old, we can let our children and grandchildren visit it.

But now, maybe just in my eyes, this street is getting more and more desolate. Every time I pass by, it's too exaggerated to say that the scene is hurt, but I really want to close my eyes tightly so as not to play a 3D movie about memories in my mind.

Starting today, I hope it won't happen again. For the memory that can't be destroyed, I can only find an irrelevant person and do something meaningless, patchwork and barely cover up the memory.

Otherwise, it will always be a monument. I'd rather sprinkle some dog blood on it to make it look less beautiful.

This is the 23rd day, and I try to do it.

Twenty-eighth day

"I remember when I told the other party that I wanted to break up, the other party didn't say anything, and I was relieved. This kind of thing is not so complicated. Later, after three months, I saw this man at a dinner party, and he completely changed. He used to be gentle and generous, and he couldn't find a simple person at all. You can't say the specific changes, but you can really feel them. Especially the eyes, covered with a layer of fog, who fell on who all feel uncomfortable. I don't want to tell myself that it's all you, your sin, but there is a ghost in my heart. I can't even look at this person who used to be so close to me. If you are abandoned, it is someone you once trusted, and a relationship is completely overthrown; But if you hurt and betray a person you once loved seriously for some reasons that you think are irresistible, then after that, you will have no time to take care of this relationship. You doubt yourself. How dark is your body? You will personally destroy a person and a relationship, regret it afterwards and save it. You will be a lifelong person. "

Thirty-second day

I traced back to my illness in my mind and bought so many potions at one go. I opened the box to see the date of production. As soon as I opened it, a note fell out.

"Little XianEr, you must remember to change contact lenses every day. I really can't afford Labrador. "

It's his handwriting. It's all to the left, strangely uniform.

Let me see the production date. In April two years ago, this batch of potions was bottled, transported to Beijing and put on the counter. Then one day, it was bought home by a man who couldn't afford Labrador. He wants to tell his girlfriend who is always too lazy to take off her contact lenses that they must still be together before these potions are used up.

When we first moved into this room two years ago, for some reason, he forgot to give me these potions. Now, this room, these potions, this exhortation, in my life, have all passed the shelf life.

When I saw those potions, I thought, I used to be this man's dream. He asked me to play every play about the future.

So I suddenly understood a truth. In this relationship, it turned out that we were evenly matched, and in the end we all suffered a fiasco. What I ruined was his dream of me. What he owes me is a promised world.

If at that moment, in a room that is about to change hands, it is he who found the box of potions, I firmly believe that he will be more emotional than I am when he looks at the gentle words he wrote two years ago, and it is even more unbearable when he cries. Day 33

I sat in my seat, trying to find a focus around me to cheer me up. At this time, the corridor was unusually silent. There is sunshine coming in from the window at the end of the corridor, and a thin ray is sprinkled on the ground, which makes people feel very cold. Every room echoed with the faint sound of a heart monitor, one after another. After listening for a long time, it's like a needle sticking into your skin, which is an unspeakable sense of existence. I seriously looked at Aunt Zhang in the glass window. I suddenly want her to wake up, hold her hand and tell her what I did wrong in such an early morning.

The so-called ego, the so-called emotional cleanliness, the so-called argument, the so-called inviolable small world. Yes, I protected all this, but why do I still feel so failed after breaking up?

When did I stop listening to his boring jokes? It's really nice to have a smile on your eyes.

Since when, I have been arguing about every detail, and I regard grasping his handle as my greatest pleasure.

When did I start? I can say goodbye too many times without changing my face. Let's break up. If you drag out an ignoble existence, it is better to give up before it is too late.

Whenever there is a problem, my most common gesture is not listening, but complaining. After a relationship, the key word I summed up is not cooperation, but attack.

There is no tacit understanding between us. He didn't learn to ask questions voluntarily at last, and I didn't learn to ask questions quietly at last. At the beginning of the story, we thought that the other person was the only one we couldn't miss in our life, but at the end, we were disheartened to find that you didn't want me to marry, and I didn't want you to marry. It's just a misunderstanding. It hurts so much.

I want to tell these words to Aunt Zhang. I want to tell her that the next time I fall in love, even if I can't think of her accent, I will bend down and listen to the other person's speech before every time I make a bitch. Is this an outline?