How to face a mother-in-law with different personalities

How to face a mother-in-law with different personalities

How to deal with mother-in-law with different personalities, we know that everyone's personality is different, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in marriage is also very subtle, so we need to know something about mother-in-law's personality to get along better, so let's talk about how to deal with mother-in-law with different personalities.

How to deal with mother-in-law with different personalities 1 1. Nurse-type mother-in-law

Portrait: Everything is arranged at home and outside. When you sleep late on Sunday, she can't wait to bring breakfast to bed. I regard my son's daughter-in-law as a child in kindergarten or a seriously ill person, and feel that I will collapse without the sky.

Case: Mrs. Gu of Chongqing, 34 years old.

My mother-in-law is a very capable person. At first, I felt very happy to have such a mother-in-law. After a long time, I think she has gone a little too far. I am a middle-level manager of a foreign company, and I feel very uncomfortable being taken care of as a baby at home. For example, I always tell her that I wash my underwear and socks myself. But as soon as I took it off, she washed it instantly. To tell the truth, these things make my mother embarrassed to wash. Once, I took a shower and combed my hair on the balcony. My mother-in-law carried my thong and whispered while drying it: "You can't cover such a small cloth, or you will get gynecological diseases." God, I'm so ashamed.

I really want to go to the kitchen on Sunday, but my mother-in-law always disapproves, saying that my hand is tapping on the computer. How can I get a spatula? Once, I finally persuaded her to let me cook. As a result, she came to see it every minute. "Qinqin, be careful not to cut your hand." "Dear, the cabbage should be washed open, otherwise it won't be clean." She disturbed me with chanting and finally cut off my hand. From then on, I gave up the idea of cooking at home and often went to help the hourly workers in the company.

Analysis: Nurse-type mother-in-law is not only capable, hard-working and has a dedicated heart. It's really a blessing to have such a mother-in-law. Everything has advantages and disadvantages. Don't exaggerate your troubles infinitely. Seriously communicate, many troubles will be solved.

Tip: Practice your skills.

Don't blame your mother-in-law for being too busy. She has her own reasons for being uneasy about you. Might as well secretly practice a few housework tips. One Sunday, let your husband take her mother-in-law out to play. You can keep the house tidy and the food is delicious. Such a convincing move will make your mother-in-law embarrassed to take care of you too much.

Fully communicate your thoughts: if you simply and rudely refuse your mother-in-law's "concern", she will be puzzled and sad. You might as well communicate with your mother-in-law in advance and tell her that you really want to learn the skills of being a housewife from her and hope to be as good as her at her age. This way, my mother-in-law will be very willing to teach you to do housework.

Let your husband come forward to be more convincing: make sure you don't want to be taken care of like this, and let your husband come forward to do the work. If he tells his mother that he doesn't want his wife to do nothing, and he doesn't want her to be like a kindergarten child forever, then in the long run, her mother-in-law will be willing to relax her care for you.

Division of labor with mother-in-law: If you are afraid of mother-in-law interfering in everything, you may wish to divide your work with your mother-in-law, saying in advance that everyone will not interfere in each other's work, and then strive for more "autonomy" after completion.

Second, the cadre mother-in-law

Portrait: Like the grandfather in the indoor drama "I Love My Family" and the Tang priest in "A Chinese Odyssey", he takes ideological and political work as his responsibility and enjoys it. Their greatest ability is to raise all the little things in life to the height of theory and understand them with reason and emotion until you are persuaded, unless you faint in front of her.

Case: Mrs. Guo of Beijing is 3 1 year old.

My mother-in-law was a department-level cadre before she retired, and doing ideological and political work is her strength. Now that I'm retired, I'm going home to play with the "waste heat". I speak casually and often belong to the object of transformation, but interestingly, my mother-in-law generally does not transform me, while my husband, I feel more stressed.

One night, my husband and I were sitting on the sofa chatting. My husband said that the son across the street recently replaced Passat with BMW, probably from someone else. I said that you have worked hard to open a company for a year, and it is not as good as others to get a red envelope. Why don't you just abandon business and go into politics? A joke was heard by her mother-in-law upstairs. She called her husband to make excuses. Half an hour later, my husband came back to our room, covered his mouth and said with a smile, "Mom took at least ten cases of corrupt officials dismounting this year to educate me."

Now even the five-year-old son knows that he can't talk nonsense at home, or he will find a job. When my mother-in-law is not at home, we are all very casual, and sometimes we deliberately spread some "reactionary remarks." But as long as my mother-in-law is here, we are all careful.

Analysis: The cadre mother-in-law is often strong and arbitrary, stubborn and superstitious. On the other hand, with such a mother-in-law, you are really unlikely to "make mistakes". And the reason why she has good intentions is often for your own good.

Tip: Do what you want to do.

First of all, you should admit that your mother-in-law's education has its positive side and praise her well. The old man's rebellious mentality is very heavy. The less you listen to her, the more she will educate you. When she thinks that you are actually very close to her idea, she won't be uneasy to preach after you all day.

Provide her with a platform: sometimes, her preaching is out of a professional inertia or because her life circle has narrowed after retirement. You should encourage her to expand her social circle. When her eloquence has a broader stage, she won't stare at you all day.

Communicate with your mother-in-law selectively: It is normal for your mother-in-law not to understand some of your ideas. You don't need to change yourself, let alone force your mother-in-law to accept it. Hide these things that she can't accept and communicate with her from an acceptable angle. The more you communicate, the more she trusts you, and naturally she won't give you lessons if she has nothing to do.

Third, a childlike mother-in-law

Portrait: A charming woman who grew up under the care of her husband will be like a child even if she becomes a mother-in-law. Self-willed, play a small temper, get a minor illness and let the family around her, and have a little conflict with the daughter-in-law, all of which can make you want to die.

Case: Mrs. Wang of Guangzhou, 32 years old.

My father-in-law is a big man with a good temper. My mother-in-law has been under his care for most of her life. Now she is 60 years old and looks like a child. My father-in-law died the year before last, and my mother-in-law lived with us, which made her more childlike. I want to eat turnip beef offal today and boat porridge tomorrow. I also designated old Guangzhou or Baiyun Mountain. No way, we have to make a detour after work to buy it for her. Watching TV at night, she is often moved to tears by a bad plot, and she has to force us to watch it with her. Just finished crying, I want to watch cartoons for a while and laugh happily. Her mood changes quickly, and we can't keep up with her mood changes.

She gnashed her teeth as she ate fried soybeans. I said I was too old to eat such hard things. She didn't say anything at that time, but when her husband came back, she actually began to cry sadly. My husband thought I bullied her and had a big fight with me. As a result, she came to beat her son again and said that he had wronged me. He just thought that he was too old to eat soybeans, and he was very sad. I always say that I have raised two children, one is my daughter and the other is my mother-in-law.

Analysis: Women who are favored by their husbands and live a happy and dull life are easy to become their children's mother-in-law. They are kind and naive, have poor self-care ability, and often give trouble to their daughters-in-law.

Tip: obey her and educate her at the same time.

A childlike mother-in-law often makes some childish little demands. If you don't obey her, she will be sad and even desperate. It is better to obey her first, and then reason with her after her demands are met and her mood is relatively calm. When making sense, you'd better use others as examples, just like telling a fable to a child, and make up a mother-in-law who is similar to her, such as "How is the mother-in-law of my colleague Miss Wang today ....."

Let the children force her to grow up

For a mother-in-law who refuses to grow up, let your children force her to grow up. Let the children ask grandma for help; Work with yourself or complete various tasks assigned by the school; Put forward good suggestions for your study and life. It is difficult for her to refuse her grandson's request. At this time, she must deal with problems like a real elder, which can effectively curb her childlike tendencies.

When you lose your temper, stay away from her.

When she is childish, she is often just bored and needs to vent. Your best way is to treat it coldly, do your own thing well, don't take it, let her vent enough, and naturally calm down. If your husband is not at home, call him in time to reflect the situation and ask his advice on how to deal with it.

Learn to refuse to treat a childlike mother-in-law If you indulge her blindly, it is easy to indulge her weakness in character. Learning to refuse at the right time will make her understand that some things can't go with the flow, but the way must be clever, otherwise new contradictions will arise.

Fourth, curious mother-in-law

Portrait: Curious and selfish, I like to spy on all the details of my son's daughter-in-law's life, from the cosmetics used by the daughter-in-law, the male and female friends I have made, to the bed-to-bed relationship between the young couple. I subconsciously want to know my son's life like the back of my hand.

Case: Mrs. Li in Shanghai, 30 years old.

My mother-in-law is a particularly nosy person. Every time I go out, she asks, where are you going? If I say to meet my friends, she will ask, who am I going to meet? If I say a name, she will ask, how old is a man or a woman, and where do you work?

In the past, our condoms were always under the pillow, and my mother-in-law helped us make the bed every day. Once, the condom broke halfway, and we changed another one. As a result, when my mother-in-law made the bed the next day, she seemed to say to us in an understatement: "Don't think that you will not be temperate when you are young and healthy, and there will be sequelae when you are old." It took me a long time to know that my mother-in-law would count the number of condoms every day when she made the bed! Since then, I have locked all my personal belongings in the drawer, and I am still so nervous at home. Of course, I am not happy.

Sometimes I tell my husband that your mother is too generous. My husband said, bear with it. She cares about us, too I admit that she cares about us, but this concern is terrible. My husband and I have quarreled occasionally for several days. She is still asking questions, and she wants to find out the ins and outs. In fact, quarreling between husband and wife is a trivial matter. Who remembers so much?

Analysis: Curious mother-in-law regards her son and daughter-in-law as her private property. In her mind, a family has no privacy, just as she doesn't exclude you from knowing everything about her.

Tip: Expose her selectively.

For a curious mother-in-law, the more you protect her, the more she wants to see it. You might as well choose a few "privacy" that you think is irrelevant, and explain the reasons generously to her to satisfy her curiosity. Protect your privacy quietly. If you don't want her to know something, you must hide it. Once she finds out that you are hiding something, she will pursue it. If your friend is on the phone and she is wandering, you might as well be generous and say, "Mom, do you want to talk to my good friend?" "She may give up.

But ask her

If you always ask her questions, she will feel natural to ask you questions. So whatever she does, don't ask questions if she is curious. After a long time, she will naturally care about each other, even if she knows that you don't want to talk, she is embarrassed to ask.

Fifth, a mother-in-law who loves her children.

Portrait: Although it is not as extreme as the mother-in-law who loves her son and hates her daughter-in-law in Qiong Yao's drama, the starting point is similar-because she loves her son too much, she always feels that her daughter-in-law is an eyesore. She not only likes to find fault with her daughter-in-law, but also likes to pick one or two things in front of her son consciously or unconsciously.

Case: Mrs. Ning from Beijing, 29 years old.

My mother-in-law has four children. My husband is not only the oldest but also the only son. My mother-in-law regards him as the apple of her eye. When I am in love, my husband dotes on me. He went to his home during the Spring Festival the first year. On a whim, he peeled melon seeds for me to eat. My mother-in-law said at that time: "Look at our little ambition, it is much better for our daughter-in-law than for our mother." Grandfather laughed at her jealousy. I smiled, too, and didn't care. After getting married, I found my mother-in-law really jealous.

Although we don't live with our mother-in-law, she comes to our house every Sunday and sometimes calls her husband into the house to talk alone. Once, my mother-in-law found a scar on her husband's arm and asked him who hit him in front of me. The husband blushed and said, "mom, I'm such a big man." Who else can I be beaten by? Accidentally hit it. " But my mother-in-law has something to say: "I don't care who dares to bully you." Mother-in-law really is, she loves her son and I love my husband. How can you imagine me as a class enemy?

Analysis: Many mothers have Oedipus complex, which most people can overcome, but a few people will be more extreme. In their minds, the daughter-in-law took her son away, so she would find fault with her.

Tip: admit defeat and show weakness, let her know that you are a mistress.

If you go against her, your mother-in-law will put you in the enemy's position. "Mom, I don't understand. Ask me. " "Mom, he ignored me these two days. You give me advice. " Be a humble mistress who needs her and show her weakness. Out of the nature of maternal love, my mother-in-law pities you and treats you as a child, and her hostility to you will gradually decrease.

Praise her mother-in-law in front of her husband: "Look at mom, she is much more capable than me." "You really fell into the honeypot. What a good mother you have. " In front of your husband, fully affirm the role of your mother-in-law, and pose that you will never compete with her for a son. Mother-in-law will thank you from the heart, and her critical heart will naturally weaken.

Don't coquetry or boss your husband around in front of your mother-in-law: No matter how much you love your husband and how much he listens to you, don't boss your husband around too much in front of your mother-in-law. This is the minimum respect for mother-in-law. Put yourself in others' shoes. If you see your baby being taken away or disposed of at will, your heart will be as uncomfortable as a knife. A son is the treasure of every woman. You should try to understand her.

Don't form a united front with your husband.

There are unexpected events in the sky. If one day you run into your mother-in-law on something, don't criticize her mother-in-law in front of her husband immediately. Since there is a contradiction, we must first have a sincere attitude to solve it. Generally speaking, a mother-in-law who loves her son is particularly sensitive. If your husband intervenes in the contradiction between you and your mother-in-law, making him a lobbyist will not only make him in a dilemma, but also make the sensitive mother-in-law feel that you are threatening her with your son. This will make her more sad and more opposed to you.

Do something to convince her.

The mother-in-law who loves her son very much is worried that she will not be taken care of after giving her son to you. You might as well show her that you are good at housework. Seeing that you are considerate to your husband, she will naturally love my dog and my house.

How to face a mother-in-law with different personalities II. Get along with the only child's mother-in-law-treat each other sincerely

Some mothers-in-law have many children, but some mothers-in-law have only one child and put all their love on this son. In this case, the daughter-in-law should treat each other sincerely, take care and care of her mother like a daughter, and she will treat you as a daughter.

Second, get along with the mother-in-law with many children-learn to understand

My mother-in-law was not always a child. A mother always has several children. Even if the mother-in-law with many children wants a bowl of water, she will have some preferences. Daughter-in-law should learn to understand. After all, our own life will be like this, there is no need to haggle over every ounce.

Third, get along with rich mother-in-law.

In people's impression, rich mothers-in-law are arrogant and mean-spoken. Actually, it's not. What they ask of their daughter-in-law is just a request, and most of them are arrogant and ruthless. Therefore, the daughter-in-law should be both rigid and flexible, and never confront each other head-on.

Fourth, get along with poor mother-in-law-without asking for anything in return.

With the development of society, this phenomenon is very many, that is, urban women marry Phoenix men. If you meet it, don't underestimate it. You can give her some living expenses every month according to your ability. You know, such a mother-in-law is also very sensitive She will judge her daughter-in-law by her attitude towards herself.