Need short and funny jokes (cold jokes)?

1, there is a little wolf. Oh, he was born a vegetarian instead of meat. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, Hand over the carrots. ...

2. The diver's difficulty coefficient is very high. He rolled over for a week, then somersaulted for a week and a half, and then somersaulted for a month.

There is a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. The man said, Happy England!

4. Once upon a time, there was a village by the sea. The villagers make a living by fishing. After many years, suddenly one day, a strange fish came to the sea. The villagers who specialize in fishing at sea have already eaten several people. This strange fish has six eyes and can fly, so the villagers call it "six-eyed flying fish". Seeing the six-eyed flying fish killing people unscrupulously, and no one can cure them, the villagers are very worried. What should we do at this rate? At this moment, a young man came to the village. His name is very special. Love says he can kill the six-eyed flying fish. The villagers are very disdainful. But the next day, love really came back with the body of the strange fish. The villagers were shocked and asked love, "How did you do it?" ? Love said, "Love really needs courage to face the flying fish with six eyes."

Once upon a time, there was a hide-and-seek association whose chairman had not been found. ...

6. A rabbit went fishing in the pond, but he didn't catch it for a long time. The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, but he still didn't catch a fish all day. On the third day, the little rabbit still insisted on fishing in the pond and found nothing. The fourth day, the rabbit went fishing in the pond. A fish jumped out of the water and growled at the rabbit, "If you use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!" " "

Seven ... After half a day's homework, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... if my skin color is pink and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that I am healthy ..." When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face and looking at the mirror, I smiled again, looking healthy and lovely. At this moment, I heard the announcer say, "All right, listeners, this time our lecture on pig raising is here ..."

8. In a primary school, two students are quarreling. A said, "You. Call again and I can call someone! " B said, "You. You fight! I don't believe it. " Then A really went to make a phone call, and when he came back, he put a malicious sentence: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!" "at this time, b was extremely nervous, but he could do nothing. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "You have visitors, please go to the Academic Affairs Office. "Although I'm scared, I think I'm in the Academic Affairs Office, so I should be fine. So he went to the academic affairs office, and a blond boy came over and said, "Are you B? "B:" I just ... ""Sorry to have kept you waiting. Here is 10 chicken pizza, 5300 yuan. "

9. A German, a Frenchman and a Japanese are going to work in the mine. The boss is American. He said to the Germans: You have a good physique and you are in charge of coolies. Say to the French: You said you were an engineer and you were in charge of the mining plan. He said to the Japanese: You are very thin. You are in charge of supply. Then every other week, they start to work. A few days later, the Germans and the French found that the Japanese had disappeared. After searching for a long time, they decided to go back to work first. When the Germans started, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted, "Surprise!" "(surprise)

10 A teacher played mahjong all night and saw that the blackboard had not been wiped. He was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "

1 1, "Hello, please call a car. I am at the intersection of XX, wearing a short black skirt ". Ok, where to go? "Uh ... to the knee ..."

12. A butterfly has a broken wing, but it is still flying. Why? Netizens rushed to answer: because of strong will.

13, a man was transfused in the hospital, and he began to laugh wildly when he lost. Others asked him what he was laughing at. He said, "I smiled a little." . . "

14, a little girl called the radio station and ordered a song for her mother. Moderator: Why do you want to order songs for mom and dad? Little girl: Mom works hard every day and can't have a good rest on Sundays. She needs to find me various exercise books. The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good boy of her mother. So I asked what song I wanted. Little girl: Why do women have to embarrass women?