Where are the classical Chinese jokes?

I am a commoner. I studied literature for the first time and failed in three years. I then studied martial arts and was given an arrow on the school field. , achieved success, wrote a good prescription, took it, and died. Then he went to the underworld and waited for the king of hell for a long time. He was impatient and asked him. The ghost soldier said: The king read the files under his feet, laughed wildly, went into shock in the back hall, and did not wake up...

Famous Reading

Che Yinnang was studying, and Sun Kang was studying in Yingxue. One day, Kang went to pay homage to Yin, but he didn't meet him. When he asked where he was going, the doorman said: "I went out to catch fireflies." After that, Yin paid homage to Kang. When he saw Kang Xian standing in the court, he asked, "Why not Studying? "Kang said: "I

It doesn't look like it's snowing today." ——(Ming Dynasty) "Laughing Forest" compiled by Master Fubai

Selling Cake<. /p>

There was a man selling cakes. His voice was very hoarse. When someone asked him why, he said, "I'm hungry." He also asked, "If you're hungry, why don't you eat cakes?"

He said: " "It's rotten" (said in a low voice on both occasions) - (Ming Dynasty) "Laughing Forest" compiled by Master Fubai

One night, I was walking on the platform when I saw a woman floating over. , long hair fluttering, can't help but look at it sideways. After approaching for a moment, the woman suddenly stopped and looked at me. Yu An said: ‘Aren’t I very handsome? ’ Dan Jianyi’s eyes widened and the corners of his mouth twitched. I sighed: ‘Am I too ugly? ’ But I saw Yi’s eyes opening wider and wider, and her mouth opening wider and wider. I'm terrified. I secretly said that I am usually a gentleman and have never offended her, let alone not knowing her. I almost wanted to turn around and run away, but suddenly I heard Yi shouting: '...ah...sneeze! ’ Yi rubbed her nose and drifted away. I was already sweating profusely.

One man encountered a swollen stream and was stingy with money. He waded desperately into the middle of the stream, but was swept away by the rapid water and drifted for half a mile. His son was looking for a boat to save him on the bank. The boatman asked for money. The money was just gone. The son only offered five cents, and the price was uncertain for a long time. When his father was dying, he looked back at his son and said, "My son. My son, I can save you with only five cents. I can't save you with a cent."

If a married girl is rich and the boy is poor, the husband's family is afraid that the girl will refuse the marriage, so they choose a day to lead the men to snatch the girl, and accidentally carry the aunt on her back to get out. The girl's family called after her, "It's gone." The aunt said on her back, "Don't listen to him, it's not bad, it's not bad, let's go quickly!" My life is not worthy of him. The next day I arrived at Hakka. The guest remembered that his food habit was to mix fish with tofu, so he chose fish and ate it. The guest asked: "Brother, if you taste cloud tofu, you will lose your life. Why don't you eat it today?" The reply was: "When you see fish and meat, you will lose your life." - "Laughing Mansion"

The Hungry Cat and the Hungry Tiger When they met, the cat asked the tiger: "I am hungry because I have no food. Why are you so tired and exhausted? Do you have no food?" The tiger said: "I always feed on humans. Recently, looking at the world, there is no one who looks like a human." Where can I get food? I am about to starve to death. If you have always eaten rat ears, how can there be no rats in the world? "The cat sighed and said, "There are no rats in the world. , there are so many rats. But recently, a group of rats are very good at encamping, and they are all in high positions, and they are very well guarded. How dare I eat them!" - "Whistleblower"

A monk and a woman were in the same boat. They looked at each other repeatedly, and the woman was angry and ordered to beat him. The monk closed his eyes. When he reached the shore, the woman ordered him to be beaten again. The monk said, "What's your crime now?" The woman said, "You closed your eyes and thought of me!"

The woodcutter accidentally touched the doctor while carrying firewood, and the doctor was so angry that he wanted to punch him. The woodcutter knelt down and said: "I'd rather be kicked." Others were surprised, and the woodcutter said: "It will be difficult to survive in his hands." Return late. Wu Bian said: "Since I am a scholar, I want to give you a test." The student asked for a question, but Wu Bian thought nothing of it and shouted: "It's good fortune for you to have no questions tonight."

Too'er enters one A poor family has nothing left, so they spit on the ground and leave. The poor man saw him on the bed and called out: "The thief can close the door for me.

Go away." Tou'er smiled and said, "Let me ask you, what are you locking him up for?"

The new official took up his post

The new official took up his post and asked the official, "How should I do my official duties?" The official said, "It takes one year to be clean, two and a half years to be clean, and three years to be clean.

It’s just a matter of time.” The official sighed and said, “Teach me how to survive for three years!” The man said angrily: "My daughter is one year old and your son is two; if my daughter is ten

years old, your son is twenty."

How can I accept this old son-in-law? When the wife heard about it, she said, "You are wrong. My daughter is one year old this year and will be born into the same age group as her son next year. Why not?" "

Good wine

The father and his son were carrying a jar of wine, but it broke because of the slippery road. The father was furious. The son fell to the ground and drank heavily. He raised his head and said to his father: "Don't you still < /p>

Do you want to wait for the food? "

Thank you for the reward

An official sat in the hall and accidentally farted and said the word "shuangli" to himself. The officials didn't know it and misunderstood it as "rewarding the official", hoping to gain favor. Zheng knelt down and said, "Thank you sir for the reward. ”

Making a fool of oneself

There was a cow-slaughterer who passed by the house of a pig-slaughterer. His son wanted to avoid the word “pig-slaughter”, so he replied: “The family’s respect has gone out.” "The man who slaughtered the cow came back and told his son what he had said, praising him endlessly. The son also understood. When the pig was slaughtered the next day, his son also replied: "My father went out to make a fool of himself. Asked: "When will you return?" "The answer is: "It will come back naturally after making a fool of yourself. "

Mandarin

There was a brother who was doing business and learned one or two Mandarin. When he was about to get home, the brother went to pay homage across the river and ordered the younger brother to go see his father first. The father asked: "Brother, you Where? The younger brother said, "Poop." The father was shocked and said: "Where did you kill him?" The answer was: "Henan." The father was grieving and his brother was dead. The father then scolded his second son: "How can you say such nonsense?" Said: "I speak official words myself." My father said, "Such official talk will only scare your own father." ”