What jokes are suitable for kindergarten?

What jokes are suitable for kindergarten?

Mom is a steamer.

One day, the son asked his mother what dragon was eating meat. Mom said Tyrannosaurus Rex?

The son asked why the dragon was eating grass. Mom said it was Liang Long.

The son thought about it and asked why the dragon was eating steamed buns. Mom can't answer. what do you think?

The son said firmly, "Mom is a steamer."

Where is the scenery good?

The father took his youngest son panting and climbed to the top of the mountain.

Dad said: Look, how beautiful the scenery of a plain under our feet is!

Since the scenery below is good, why did it take three hours to climb up? Dad.

I am the flower of the motherland.

After taking a shower that day, I sprayed some perfume on my body, pretended to be intoxicated and took a few deep breaths.

My daughter saw it, grabbed my perfume bottle and sprayed it on her, making her sneeze three times.

I accused her that children should not abuse perfume, but she said slowly, "I am the flower of the motherland." Can I call it a flower without fragrance? "

Get smaller.

Little Willie is crazy about airplanes. Whenever he hears a plane flying by, he always runs out to watch it until it becomes a dot in the distance.

Finally, he also had the opportunity to travel by plane for the first time. At that time, he was very excited and his eyes were wide open. About 10 minutes after take-off, he eagerly asked his mother: When will we become a dot? Mom!

It's so hot that I don't even have air conditioning.

I feed the little girl milk. The little girl saw a pregnant woman and asked her grandmother why her stomach was so big.

Grandma said, is that the baby inside?

The little girl said, is the baby hot inside?

Grandma asked, are you hot in your mother's stomach?

The little girl replied, oh, it's too hot, there is no air conditioning. ......

Helpless education in China

The daughter took the paper and said, "Mom, I failed math." Mom was furious: "Really?" The daughter nodded and the mother raised her hand to hit her. The daughter suddenly lifted the paper and said, "Look clearly, it's 100." The mother smiled and kissed her daughter. The daughter sighed, "I just want to sound out whether you like me or my grades."

So small, it will take advantage.

I was just about to go upstairs. There is a little girl and a little boy on the stairs.

Two children suddenly appeared at the corner. When they saw me, the little boy said to me, uncle, I am a prince.

Then I was suddenly speechless for 0.9 seconds and asked the little girl, Are you a princess?

The little girl said, I am the empress dowager.

Poof ... Xiao Zhuo, I almost fell down the stairs.

boy

The children's goods store gives each customer's child a balloon. A boy wants two, the clerk said, I'm very sorry, we only give one balloon to each child. Do you have a brother at home?

Boy, I'm very sorry. He said, no, I don't have a younger brother, but my sister has a younger brother. I want to buy him one.

It's interesting to be alive.

At night, I fell asleep, and suddenly I didn't know where the lamentation came from or where the dead were.

The next morning, I took my little niece's hand and went out for a walk, only to know that Liu from the neighboring village had passed away.

The little niece said, "It's interesting to be alive. Live and die. "

besides

Before going to bed, a kindergarten girl clamored for her mother to buy crayons. Because her mother was very sleepy, she replied, "We'll talk again."

The girl kept saying, "Mom! I want crayons! "

Mother said, "Let's talk!"

The daughter cried and said, "mom, I have said it several times." How many times do I have to say it? Blare ... "

Let's sell dad.

My daughter is four and a half years old and always pesters me to buy snacks.

She pestered me to buy food again yesterday. I told him that I spent my money because I bought him something, and then prompted her to find a way. She thought about it and asked me in a pleading tone, "Sell Dad?"

I said, "If you sell your father, you will lose your father. Do you want your father or something delicious? "

The daughter thought for a moment and said, "sell your father!" "

Multipurpose pencil head

Dad just bought some new pencils for Xiao. Xiaogang quickly found a nasty saw blade and cut the whole pencil into small pieces. Dad found out, stopped him and said, good pencil, don't sharpen it!

Xiaogang said, where can I get it if I don't sharpen my pencil? Our teacher said that using pencils is a sign of economy!

The watch has been washed.

Dad, damn it. Why doesn't my watch work?

Mom: Maybe it's time to send it to the watch shop for washing.

Little Nigel: No, I opened it this morning, put it in the washbasin and cleaned it with a brush.

Dad is an adult and still sleeps with you.

The mother bathed her son who just went to primary school and told him to go back to his room to sleep. The son refused to do it and said, "I'm afraid, I want to sleep with my mother!" " "

Mother said impatiently, "How old are you? Why do you sleep with your mother? "

The son winked and said, "Then my father is so old, why should I sleep with you?"

black people

I am watching the ball game, and my two-year-old daughter is also joining in the fun. Suddenly, she pointed to the TV and said, Dad, have these uncles lost their household registration books?

I don't understand: why?

Mom won't let me play with the hukou book, saying that if I lose it, it will be all black!

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