Seek short and pithy jokes (especially funny) to be healthy?

1. In a mental hospital downstairs, there is always an old woman squatting there with an umbrella. Finally one day, a nurse asked her what she was doing. As a result, the old woman said with a dignified face: "Shh, I'm a mushroom. . . "2. One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit. He announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we can wash it together, and we can eat it together after washing." All the children went to pick fruit. As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?" Xiaohua: "I am washing apples because I picked them." Teacher: "What about you, Xiaomei?" Xiaomei: "I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes." Teacher: "The children are great! What about Amin? " A-Ming: "I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped on shit." Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their buttons at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, he's not breathing ... 4. Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by, and Pig Bajie hurriedly chased him out with a rake. After a while, he came back and said, damn it, Yang Liwei ... 5. The hospital set up a 100 lane to prevent patients from escaping, but there were still two mental patients who wanted to escape from the hospital. Trying to climb over the wall in the dark. Under the thirtieth wall, "Are you tired?" , "Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards. Under the sixtieth wall, "Are you tired?" "Not tired." So the two of them continued to turn outward to the 99th wall. "Are you tired?" "Tired" "Well, let's turn around" 6. You and the pig ask questions freely, and the pig asks, "Guess how many sweets are in my pocket?" You ask: If I do it right, can I eat it? The pig said, "You guessed right, I'll give you two." You drool and ask, "Is it three dollars?" 7. One day, in the big forest, the fox was smoking marijuana. At this time, the little rabbit came from a distance and saw all this. He came up and said, Fox, how can you smoke marijuana? This is not good for your health. Look, how fresh the air is. Come and run with me. The fox thinks this is right, so he runs after the rabbit. They saw the elephant smoking heroin. The rabbit ran to the elephant and said, elephant, elephant, why are you taking drugs? Look how fresh the air is. Run with me. Elephants think it's right to run together. Running and running, I saw the lion roll up his sleeves and was about to inject heroin. Little rabbit shouted at the lion from a distance: lion, lion, taking drugs is not good for your health. Look how fresh the air is. Run with me ... I saw the lion put down the syringe and rushed over to beat the rabbit. The elephant said to the lion trembling, why did you hit the rabbit? He doesn't want us to hurt his health! The lion said angrily: NND dead rabbit, every time he takes drugs, he wants me to run wild in the forest with him, damn it! 1. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I'm going to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. The banana behind me fell down. Matches always like to hit the wall with their heads. One day, the match struck too hard. Everyone took it to the hospital, and the doctor wrapped it in gauze. The match turned into a cotton swab. 3. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bread that became steamed bread after eating a meatball. Once upon a time, there was a man who looked like an onion and cried when he walked. Once upon a time, there was a man named Kite who flew when he was walking on the road ~ Once upon a time, there was a man named Shi who was washed away by water ~ Once upon a time, an egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg ~ I had nothing to do, so I just sat on the ice and plucked my hair ... one ... two ... three .. finally finished. The polar bear shook his body and said, "It's so cold ..." Another polar bear saw it and sat on the ice to pluck his hair ... one ... two ... three ... finally finished, polar bear. Answer: Yes. It: Shit, I didn't see it. Household appliances hold a joke contest, stipulating that every appliance should tell a joke, so that every audience at the scene can laugh, otherwise it will be sent to a waste treatment plant. The washing machine was the first one to play. As soon as his joke was finished, the audience laughed and suddenly heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold." So the washing machine was taken to the waste treatment plant. Next is the smartest computer. Just after his joke was finished, all the household appliances laughed and heard the rice cooker say, "It's so cold." Therefore, computers have also been brought to waste treatment plants. The third place is the most humorous desk lamp. The desk lamp confidently finished the joke, and everyone rolled on the ground with laughter. The rice cooker said, "It's so cold." Just as the desk lamp was about to be taken to the waste processing plant, the rice cooker stood up angrily and turned to the refrigerator sitting behind him and said, "I'm full." Smile happily, right? Don't open your mouth so wide. It's so cold! "