Who will tell a joke?

The son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: When you grew up and married a daughter-in-law, did you sleep with Mom? The son replied: Yes. Mom said: What should you do with your wife? The son said: Let her sleep with her father. After hearing this, my father said excitedly: This child has been sensible since he was a child. One brother has been suffering from constipation and has been unable to defecate in the toilet for a long time. When he was trying his best, he saw a brother rushing into the toilet like a wind and entering the seat next to him. When I entered, there was a really violent storm. The brother said to the brother enviously: Brother, I envy you so much. The brother said: Why are you envious? I haven’t taken off my pants yet~~ One time when I was playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out. I had no choice but to buy a candle and continue fighting. After half an hour, the heat was unbearable. One person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan, it's too hot." Another person said: "Don't turn it on. Turning it on will blow out the candle." An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese were exploring in the jungle, and they were all captured by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today, so I won't eat you, but you will all suffer a hundred blows." But before you get stuck, you can have one wish come true. "The American was the one who got hit first. He said: "Before I get hit, put a cushion on my butt. "After padding, the boards fell like raindrops; at first, 70 boards were okay, but after 70 boards, the seat cushions were smashed, and then the boards were bloody... After the beating, the Americans left feeling their buttocks. After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 10 A mattress. After 1, 2, 3...100, the Japanese stood up, patted their butts, and said it was fine; then they boasted about their ability to imitate and recreate, and wanted to sit back and watch the Chinese. What a show. The Chinese slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Come on, put the Japanese on my back." "... A brother went to the restroom and entered the women's restroom by mistake. After entering, he found that there was no urinal. It felt wrong. Fortunately, there was no one in the women's restroom. He walked out as if nothing had happened. When he was opening the door, he met a girl who came in. That mm When I met him, I blushed, lowered my head, turned around and went to the men's room. One day, there were too many people on the bus. It was very hot and stuffy. I don't know who farted. Now the environment was even worse. It got worse. My friend couldn't bear it, and he didn't know who it was, so he had no choice. Just then, the conductor was asking: "Who didn't buy a ticket?" "My friend suddenly had an idea and said loudly: "The one who farted didn't buy a ticket! "Suddenly, a very fat woman held the ticket high in her hand and said loudly: "I have already bought the ticket! "A sculpture was built in a new building of a university: a girl holding a book in her left hand and a dove symbolizing peace in her right hand. The school publicly solicited names from students outside the school. As a result, many people had the same slogan - Reading Top It’s just a waste! The situation of losing bicycles in school is very serious. New cars disappear in the blink of an eye, but sometimes if you are lucky, the lost bicycle will appear again every few days. One day, Xiao Jing, who is in the same dormitory, bought a new transmission car. He would show off to everyone he met and say, “I have the latest lock on this car! "The next day, Xiaojing returned from her evening self-study with a depressed look. She also held a piece of paper in her hand, which said: Don't think there are no experts here. I borrowed the car and will return it to you in a few days. ! A few days later, the thief actually returned the car. Xiaojing was very happy, but she was worried that the car would be "borrowed" again, so she bought ten large locks and locked the car tightly. , and also posted a note to the thief: It depends on how you "borrow" it! When Xiaojing went downstairs the next morning, she found that there were five more locks on the car, and there was a note on the lock: It depends on how you still ride it. ! There were three little tadpoles. They went to a restaurant to eat... After waiting for a while, the first dish was served... fried frogs... The three little tadpoles sang in unison: I don't want to, I don't want to, don't want to grow up... . One day, Cao Cao captured Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei. Cao Cao said to the three of them, each of you go to the orchard and choose a fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei brought out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can. He stuffed the fruit he brought into his butt and let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while, but failed, so he was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes, and Cao Cao also told him. With the same words, Guan Yu began to stuff the grapes... When he stuffed the third grape, Guan Yu suddenly burst into laughter. As a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed again. After going to the underworld, the King of Hell asked Guan Yu: "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?" Woolen cloth? If you don't laugh, you won't die." Guan Yu sighed and said, "I don't want to either! God is jealous of beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu walking out with a durian in his arms..." Yesterday I went to eat at KFC, and the people in line behind me looked like a couple. They ordered a lot of food. Then sat next to me.

After sitting down, the girl began to eat voraciously, as if she had been hungry for several days, while the boy gnawed on the French fries one by one, as if he had something on his mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the fries, moved forward, and asked seriously: "Qingqing, can I chase you?" The girl didn't even raise her head and said directly: "No!" The boy asked again: "It's not possible at all. "The girl said simply: "Not at all!" The boy was stunned, looking straight at her and staying there... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, feeling that the boy was watching. She stopped eating, then looked at the boy with pitiful eyes, and whispered: "Then...can I still eat?" Everyone next to me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy was helpless and busy. Said: "Eat, eat..." This girl is so cute... If I don't let you chase her, I will definitely chase you... I will chase you desperately! ! ! ! I have always been restless in school. When I was a freshman, I went to self-study for the first time. I would sit in the classroom and feel depressed, and then I would go to the corridor to smoke. Not long after I lit my cigarette, a PL girl came and asked, "We are studying for self-study now! Why did you run out?" I said, I came out to smoke out of boredom, mm, which class are you in? He ran out anyway. PLMM pointed to our classroom and said, "That class!" I was very excited and said, "Are we in the same class?" What, are you depressed too? She said: Well, a new student in our class ran out during self-study, so I came out to look for him. I smiled, but it seemed that he still couldn't sit still. Why are you looking for him? You're not his mother! MM: There is no way, I am his class teacher! I was confused at the time... A minute later, I held back a sentence: Teacher, you look so young... After Phelps won 8 gold medals: What are the swimming competitions of different countries in breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, and freestyle? 100, 200, 400, 1500 resulted in too many gold medals. They were very dissatisfied and asked to increase the number of gold medals in their dominant events. Brazil proposed: Football should be divided into 3 people, 5 people, 7 people, 11 people, beach, indoor and grass. China proposes: Table tennis should be divided into straight, horizontal, straight doubles, straight singles, and straight and horizontal mixed doubles. The British proposed: Equestrian should be divided into black horse equestrian, white horse equestrian, red horse equestrian, brown horse equestrian, royal horse equestrian, and zebra equestrian. Kenya proposed: Long-distance running should be divided into 10,000 meters, 11,000 meters, 12,000 meters and 13,000 meters. . . Japan proposed: All mixed sports for men and women should increase 3p, 4p, 5p, 6p, 7p. . . Group p. . . 500p. Thailand proposed: In addition to the men's and women's events, all the shemale categories should be added. South Korea proposed: In the future, if a gold medal is added, one should be given to South Korea, because these athletes who won the gold medal are all of Korean descent, or their ancestors are of Korean descent.