A very funny little joke

Joke is a Chinese vocabulary, which means something that makes people laugh. The following is a very funny little joke I collected, for reference only, and I hope it will help everyone.

Very funny short joke 1 1, the instructor shouted at us sternly: "Who drank beer last night?" No one dared to admit it, and the instructor immediately raised his tone by eight degrees. "Let me ask you, who drank beer last night?" Finally, someone couldn't hold back and whispered, "Instructor, I drank." The instructor immediately became furious and said solemnly, "Why don't you return the beer bottle to others after you finish drinking it?"

The English teacher is very compassionate. In my own country, I can't speak my own language with my own people, but I have to use a foreign language, so I think the English teacher must be mentally abnormal. For example, when I was in junior high school, the first question asked by my English teacher was very abnormal. The teacher looked at the roster and called my name and asked, "What's your name?"

3. In the math class, the teacher gave the students an application question: "In order to welcome the Labor Day, the youth members of Guangming Middle School went to Bayi Park to participate in voluntary labor, and the content of labor was …" A minute passed, full of nonsense, and I didn't see the topic either. Probably have never seen such a strange math problem. The last classmate couldn't bear it, and roared, "Teacher, are you writing a composition?"

4. My eyes are not very good. I forgot to wear my glasses that day and wanted to see the words written on the blackboard. I borrowed it from my classmate: "Hey, what's the degree of your glasses? Can you lend them to me? " The classmate replied: "250 degrees." I was very excited. "Oh, that's great. Me too, 250. "

The teacher is giving a lecture, and two students are whispering below. The teacher said, "Cuba is rich in brown sugar." A classmate said to the person next to him, "You know, I like brown sugar very much." The teacher continued: "Brown sugar is usually eaten by pregnant women." The teacher went on to say, "America is rich in corn." The classmate got excited again and said to the classmate next to him, "Oh, I like eating corn best." The teacher went on to say, "The main use of corn is as feed."

6. There is "Haidian Wang Kao" in the north and "Huanggang Tiba" in the south. Once a classmate went to buy books. He bought two books together and read them. One is "the sea" and the other is "the way out of the sea".

Very funny short joke 2 1. admission qualifications

Little Ruth went to the aristocratic kindergarten. During the interview, the teacher took out a bill for 10 yuan and asked, "What is this?" Little Ruth quickly replied, "This is the waste paper that Grandma gave to beggars." The teacher said, "well, there is no need to take the exam." You have been admitted. "

2. Gold teeth

It is said that one day when I went to kindergarten for an internship, I was having fun with a child. Suddenly, I looked at him and saw a gold tooth in his mouth. He said to me with a serious face: "teacher, I am surprised!" It takes a long time for you not to brush your teeth! "

3. Are you married

My four-year-old daughter saw a photo of me and my husband at the seaside. She asked, "Mom, when did you and Dad take this photo?" I replied, "That was taken when mom and dad were dating." She looked up and wondered, "Did you get married later?" "……"

touch

(My son is lying in bed without doing his homework)

The father said to his son, "If you don't do your homework, you won't find a good job in the future."

The son said, "I don't want to work."

Father: "Then you'd better not get married and start a family."

Son: "Just ... don't get married!" " "

Father: "Then you'd better not fall in love or kiss girls ..."

Son: "I don't have time to chat with you-it's time to do my homework!" " "

5. I want a dog

Anna's mother is pregnant again. She asked Anna, "Do you want your mother to bring you another brother or sister?" Anna thought for a moment and said, "I just want a puppy."

6. ants

(cloudy day, a bilingual kindergarten in Beijing. A small class of children excitedly found the teacher: "teacher, there are many ants moving at the root of the wall!" " "The young teacher thought: We should seize this good opportunity and let him consolidate the English words he has learned. So I asked him, "What did the ants say?" The child paused, his face flushed, and after a while, he finally replied with tears: "It, it, it didn't say anything! ! "

7. Send you to land in the sun at night

After the Americans successfully landed on the moon, Brezhnev called the Soviet astronauts on the same day: "Since the Americans have landed on the moon, the Soviet Union decided to send you to the sun immediately." The astronaut was frightened and choked up and said, "Don't you know, Comrade Brezhnev, we will be burned to death". Brezhnev said angrily: "Do you think that the Politburo has not considered it? We have decided to send you to land in the sun at night! "

8. When Xiao Ming was at school, his study was poor and his handwriting was scrawled. Others don't know his handwriting. One day, the teacher asked him, "Xiao Ming, can you do what others can't do?" Xiao Ming replied: "Of course. For example, if I can read my own handwriting, others will not. "

9. Relics

Man: "I was your husband's best comrade-in-arms. I want a souvenir from him as a souvenir, can I? " Ma' am "

Woman: "Yes. I am his legacy. "

10. In order to cultivate Xiaoming's artistic accomplishment, his father took him to the concert hall to enjoy a violin recital. An hour or two later, the performers on the stage still couldn't stop. Xiao Ming, who couldn't sit still, asked loudly, Dad! When can he saw the wooden box?

1 1. A person bought 10 donkeys. When he counted one donkey, he found that there were only nine donkeys. When he counted down, there were 10 donkeys. So he said: I will earn a donkey when I walk, and I will lose a donkey when I ride. Might as well walk!

12. Father: "Doctor, how many more bottles of potions?"

Doctor: "One bottle is enough. Will other children catch a cold? "

Father: "My child, if he wants to drink a spoonful, we have to drink a spoonful with him."

13. In the middle of the night, "Chicken" is called the new version.

Late at night, a gentleman upstairs was watching Gao Yubao's "Midnight Cockcrow" in his room when he suddenly heard a female voice shout, "Somebody! Come! "

Mr. Wang rushed to help with his sword. It turned out to be a coquettish young lady. The young lady said to him, "I have nothing to do today." Please help me. I will give you a 60% discount! " It took the gentleman a long time to understand, and sighed and said, Speak of the devil, there really is a rooster crowing in the middle of the night! " "

14. Compare with others

Dumb Lin said to his wife, "You always like to compare with Xiao Yang's house next door. He decorated the house, and you want me to decorate our house according to his decoration mode. " His family bought a Pentium computer, and you want me to buy a computer exactly like his family. what do you think? "

"Have they added anything new to the family?" The wife asked anxiously.

"He married a beautiful young wife yesterday." The husband answered doubtfully.

15. On the bus, a father said to his son, "I can't beat your mother at that age. I can beat your grandmother at the age of twelve! " A buddy next to him shouted at his father, "Is this how you educate your children? Will you be a father! " My father was stunned and said, "I said badminton!" "

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