Son and mother are hot searches for each other: 80% of parents have lost their words.

On Mother's Day, the air was filled with the fragrance of carnations, and the gifts of love in the circle of friends were filled with gratitude and warmth everywhere.

A netizen named "Sugar Craftsman" exposed a special Mother's Day video, which triggered a heated discussion.

The son "sugar maker" said to his busy mother in the kitchen, "Happy Mother's Day, Mom!"

I was actually disgusted by my mother: "Happy? Are you happy? Come and eat for six weeks! "

The son smiled and saved himself: "Let's go out for dinner at noon!"

Mom came back angry: "What do you want to eat? How much do you earn a day? "

The son said in distress situation: "My God, you are blocked at both ends."

The netizen commented: "My mother's reaction is too real!"

I can't help feeling that parents nowadays don't want to despair while they dislike their children.

How many parents are like this in life?

Clearly loves children, but looks like a strange child; It is obviously distressed by children, but it seems to be torturing children; It is obviously supporting children, but it looks like hitting children.

Originally, it was "I hate iron and don't produce steel, I pity my parents", but I accidentally became the one who disliked children.

This is reminiscent of Stephen Chow's film New king of comedy. The heroine's dream is to be an actress, but in her father's eyes, she is a lump of mud and will never be able to help the wall.

Father often compares dreaming with her childhood. She is angry that her daughter doesn't have a stable job and a down-to-earth life, and she is driven crazy by illusory movies all day.

Once I went to my father's birthday party like a dream. In order to keep my style from being destroyed, I had to come back with strange dead makeup.

I don't want to be kicked out of the house by my father's dirty words: "Never come back!" " "

Although my father always flies into a rage, he still secretly goes to the set and cares about his daughter silently.

In him, we can see the epitome that Qian Qian's parents will never express their love: knife mouth, tofu heart and explosive temper.

What did this duplicity bring to her daughter?

Like a dream, although I have always insisted on my dream, I am extremely humble in my bones.

This great sense of inferiority undoubtedly affected her self-confidence in pursuing her dreams, so that when she was trampled and suspected, at best, she was willing to endure and fight with brute force.

This inferiority complex also directly affected her view of love.

In fact, I vaguely know that the object has defects and problems, and I don't want to open the facts to believe it. I am still dead set.

It was not until her boyfriend finally exposed his true colors naked in front of her that he began to wake up.

Parents' duplicity towards their children is understandable. We are often angry and angry. In fact, we hate iron and hide love.

However, although these words are "sincere advice when most unpleasant is helpful for action", the children can't hear the obscurity in the words, but only hear the hidden knife in the words.

You are used to fighting and venting, and children are used to resistance and inferiority.

Once in a parent's class, the teacher asked the parents in the audience to talk about their troubles in raising children.

"Teacher, my child is in junior high school and often shuts himself in his room.

If I talk to him, he always says,' I don't want to talk to you! I had a miserable life and was very unhappy! Please go away! "

I don't care about his grades now, I just want him to be happy and talk to me ... "

Then, the tall father couldn't help choking up in class.

There is also a mother whose daughter is excellent and a good child in the eyes of others. She is also proud of her daughter, but she found that something was wrong with her recently.

Before her mother could check her composition, her daughter said to herself, "Why is my writing getting worse and worse? Rewrite! " So she wrote and tore the composition book, tearing and writing.

She paints and writes carefully. Everyone thought her painting was good, but she shook her head and said, "No! I seem to have no talent for painting ... "

The world-famous psychotherapist Satya once said, "There is nothing wrong with children. If there is something wrong with the child, it must be the parents' problem. "

The children's current problems are all caused by their parents themselves.

Through the teacher's questioning and hypnotic guidance, it is found that the choked father will naturally vent his emotions when educating his children and scold: "Why are you so naughty?" A stubborn guy! ""You don't listen? Look, I won't break your leg! ""How dare you laugh after doing so badly in the math exam? ...

In fact, the father's heart wants to tell the child that he is wrong and hopes that he can change. But the effect is the opposite.

Moreover, the way the mother behind her usually speaks to her daughter is also harsh and ugly: "Write it ugly, tear it up and rewrite it!" " ""You just have to practice hard, there are very few talented people! "It is no wonder that children will become insecure.

Parents are duplicitous to their children, and wrongly send negative messages to them, such as "Nobody loves", "You can't do it" and "You are so stupid".

The love and expectation for children in my heart are diluted in the appearance of severe criticism and buried in the tone of dissatisfaction.

80% of parents are lost in duplicity, being slaves to emotions, letting anger and accusations take the lead, making children not understand their parents' good intentions, getting farther and farther away from you, and finally closing the door of their own hearts.

Please learn to express your inner expectations and love for your children in the right way.

There is a good method in communication skills called: I am informative.

A mother anxiously waited for her child to come home from school, and the child finally came back.

The mother said angrily to the child, "You damn troublemaker, why did you come back so late?" Where are you crazy again! "

Another mother said, "You came back a little late today. Mom is worried about you. Can you come back earlier? " "

Which mother is more willing to listen to what the child says? It must be the second mother.

The first mother is a typical knife mouth and tofu heart, and the expression she uses is your information, while the second mother uses my information.

* The expression of "My Information" begins with "I" and clearly expresses my current situation, thoughts, feelings and needs.

* The expression of "your message" begins with "you"

Many people like to use "your message" when they are emotional, such as "how did you do it!" "You always throw things around!" "Can you stop it? You are so annoying! " .

If you really want your child to get better, use "my message" to express it, tell your child that you love him and care about him, and hope that he can do something, instead of scolding, attacking and satirizing him at the beginning.

Children want to be actors, or do everything else that seems unrealistic. Don't attack sarcasm. You can express your worries and concerns and give rational suggestions.

Don't scold your child because of his poor academic performance. You can ask them what difficulties they have encountered in their studies and what help their parents need.

Don't lose your temper when the child is naughty. You can tell your child that the harm he has caused makes you angry, and you hope he can be an educated child.

Spencer, a famous British educator, believes that the secret of successful education is to respect children and have a happy education.

However, in daily life, many parents and teachers often take educational measures to attack or even destroy children's self-esteem.

When children happily say to their parents, "I must catch up with someone and do better in the exam," parents may leave a sentence: "Just you?" You are dreaming ";

When a child assures his parents: "I will never do such a stupid thing again", his father may say: "If you can really do it, the sun will rise in the west";

When a child's test scores are unsatisfactory several times in a row and he ranks at the bottom of the class, some parents or teachers may poke his head with their fingers and say sternly, "Why are you so stupid?" "If I were you, I would be ashamed to live a long time ago." ...

According to statistics, primary and secondary school students receive an average of 432 negative comments every month, while only 32 positive comments are received.

In other words, most of what parents say to their children is negative and ironic.

A good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts June.

It is conceivable how painful it is for children who often live in negative comments.

In any case, we should not be so vicious and heartless as to keep parents who are sarcastic about their children quiet.

If you love him, say it in a positive way.

Give rational advice if you care about him.

If you are proud of him, please praise and encourage him and let the children know.

Parents are the best guides for children's growth. Son and mother are hot searches for each other: 80% of parents have lost their words.