Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - On the moon of the post
On the moon of the post
1.
Zhang Yibing inspected the shop, then went back to the company and sat in the moonlight. Late at night, the moonlight poured into the window like water and sprinkled a piece of white on the ground. There is a proverb that if a soldier is not a vice squad leader, he will stand guard and not stand in Class Two. But he has done these two things, and too few people have never stood a private. Everyone knows that it is the best time to sleep, the feeling of being carried out from the warm bed. A chill, wake up immediately.
In this northern border, it is a very challenging thing to stand guard in winter night. Zhang Yibing, from a recruit to a company quartermaster, to an exam promotion, and finally returned to this company, naturally has unspeakable feelings. The old company commander changed his job, and the acting company commander fell on Zhang Yibing. When I was a soldier, I wanted to see what was written in the notebook held by the platoon leader and company commander at every meeting. They keep a straight face every day and think about something. Now that I am a platoon leader and company commander, I know that there is nothing. What is recorded in the notebook is nothing more than which class is on a business trip, which class is not cleaned well, the training plan for next month and so on. I keep my eyes open every day, so busy that the lights are turned off. As the company's first mate, he has to check the shops and posts after lights out. Winter in this place is always difficult. The indoor heating is not enough. In order to keep warm, the soldiers put their coats outside the quilt, hoping to get their heads into the quilt and shrink into a ball.
Zhang Yibing was shivering in the room, his hands panting. These recruits are all too young, so young that their faces are childish. From them, Zhang Yibing saw how he joined the army ten years ago. When I was a recruit, I was most afraid to stand guard at the sentry box. It's dark, the wind is blowing, and sometimes it's accompanied by various sounds. That kind of creepy feeling, every experienced recruit will never forget.
The winter exercise in the northern military camp is very simple, and even snow removal has become a part of the exercise. Soldiers should not only pile up snow shovels, but also pile up snow into piles with the same volume and shape, which is a regular trapezoid from the side. This seems to be an alternative decoration in the winter camp, and the white snow pile has become a natural separation between the company and the company site. These big boys who had a snowball fight in the snow a few months ago have become standard soldiers since they put on this military uniform, and there is no habit of local youth anymore. Perhaps this is also a kind of maturity.
Chinese New Year may be the happiest and saddest time for recruits. The company is full of excitement for the new year. Everyone in the company has a division of labor whether they do housework at home or not. Those who can't package jiaozi have also learned to package jiaozi. Although the packaged jiaozi has different shapes, and some even make people feel horrible, the fruits of their own labor are the sweetest. Everyone scrambled to eat their own bags of jiaozi in the noise, which had a unique taste. At this time, recruits are most likely to miss home. Political cadres and the backbone of the squad leader should take the lead to stabilize the mood of the soldiers.
Thought of here, Zhang Yibing put on cotton-padded clothes, unscrewed the desk lamp and laid the writing paper. China New Year is coming. Write a letter to your family. Although you often call, you should always write a letter for your elderly parents to read from time to time. And Xiao Mei, I wonder if I can perform in such a remote place this year. Zhang Yibing unconsciously hung a warm smile on his face.
Suddenly, a hurried telephone bell rang, and it was the military line. After answering the phone, I said the password and reply, and the other party smiled. Zhang Yibing breathed a sigh of relief: "Xiao Da's skill, your boy, what's the trouble with calling in the middle of the night? It will scare people to death. Do you know how to cut it? "
Xiao Dali laughed enough to calm down and said wily, "Let me guess what you are doing at the moment? I must miss Ge Ling! "
Zhang Yibing replied, "Who is Ge Ling? ! "
After the laughter, Xiao Dali said, "I won't take up the military line phone for too long." I tell you a good news. Our department will send a literary and art team to you in a few days to perform the Spring Festival, led by our instructor and vice-captain comrades. Please tell company commander Zhang. Big Bingzi, the deity is here, hurry up! "
After hanging up the phone, Zhang Yibing froze for a few seconds, unable to believe his ears. Do you think your idea has been detected by senior leaders? Or leaders are compassionate to their subordinates, aware of the people's feelings and understand the grassroots! At this time, Zhang Yibing wanted to cry, and praised the lovely supreme leader with all beautiful words. He has never felt such a beautiful and charming atmosphere in the company night in winter. Zhang Yibing closed the writing paper, closed the pen and put his hands behind his head. I can't write home tonight. I can't wait to blow the whistle and let the whole company get up and clean up to meet the literary team. Thinking about the short clip that I haven't seen for a long time, Zhang Yibing unconsciously laughed out loud. In the corridor came the password of changing the guard, and the second shift was over. Zhang Bingxin thought that smelly boys would suffer. After such tempering, your wings will be full. He got up gently with his coat, picked up the flashlight and went out. He told the sentry who was changing shifts to put on more cold clothes outside. The soldiers were startled. Why is the company commander still up? Why are you so gentle tonight? Even the eyes and expressions are softened, not as straight as usual. ...
A soldier reacted quickly. When the other soldiers looked at each other and were still panicked by the company commander's abnormality, they said gently, thank you for your concern. Please go to bed early. Zhang Yibing smiled and went to the company to have a look. Look at the state of the soldiers on duty first, and then let the platoon leaders on duty go with him one by one. Indeed, I haven't been so relaxed and happy for a long time. Although it is a small news, it is enough to make him feel that his mood has been rippling and rippling. ...
The night seems particularly long. Although I didn't lie down until after midnight, Zhang Yibing was sleepy, excited, expecting, and vaguely helpless. Military love seems to be a luxury. When I was a recruit, I remember a song sung by veterans: the moon at the sentry post was still so young, but the soldiers at the sentry post changed their names. How many times ... I thought of this song in my mind. When it began to dawn, I fell asleep in a daze and vaguely knew her dream scene.
When a quick whistle sounded, it was early morning. The soldiers on duty shouted out the order to get up. Five minutes later, there were neat footsteps in the building. Soon I heard the chanting of numbers, and the soldiers had already started doing morning exercises. Zhang Yibing gets up at once, gets dressed, tidies up the house, and then calls the company's document department.
"Documents, you go to the monitor of each class, find out which recruits have literary specialties and what they are good at, plus the reserved programs of veterans, and make a statistic for me."
"Yes!"
After receiving the order, the document quickly walked out of the company.
Zhang Yibing repeatedly called it "correspondent".
The correspondent immediately ran to the company commander, saluted and stood at attention.
"Inform other officials, as well as platoon leaders and acting platoon leaders, to meet in the conference room at the beginning of the exercise."
"Yes!"
The correspondent also ran away.
The soldiers on duty began to clean up, sprinkling water to clean up.
Zhang Yibing hummed while washing: "Soemi Lasso, Lasso Mi Duo, singing all over the sky!" The soldiers on duty looked around curiously. I don't know what happened to the company commander these two days, but it seems to be a good thing for sure!
"Let me talk about the recent work arrangement." Zhang Yibing looked around the cadres in the conference room.
Every cadre opens his notebook to prepare records.
"There is still a month before the training task of new recruits. We must seize the time to do a good job in training, and we must ensure that every recruit can meet the standards or even be excellent after leaving the company. "
The platoon leaders kept nodding.
"In addition, there is less than a month to celebrate the New Year. We should pay more attention to the psychological and ideological conditions of soldiers and avoid excessive fluctuations caused by holiday homesickness. "
The instructor nodded frequently.
"The last thing is that the military region should send a literary team to the grassroots level, and our border guards should be the first choice. Comrades, this is a good thing. I have asked the document to count the literary and artistic specialties of our recruits and strive to let the recruits interact with the actors. "
This time, no one nodded, and everyone looked at Zhang Yibing blankly.
When the company commander finished speaking, he didn't get the kind of high-spirited response that everyone expected, which was a bit embarrassing.
Zhang Yibing coughed, thinking that he might be a little overjoyed.
So I talked about some matters needing attention in daily work, health maintenance and other requirements, and the meeting was dismissed.
The mobile phone vibrates. It's a short message from Xiao Mei.
"What are you doing?"
Zhang Yibing smiled.
"Think naughty!"
Xiao Mei seems very happy. There are many kinds of smiling faces in a short message.
Although you have to make a phone call every day if conditions permit, texting is also an indispensable way of communication between two people. Soldiers are not allowed to use mobile phones, and cadres have certain restrictions on using mobile phones. This is discipline, which makes the love between two soldiers influenced by certain objective factors. Of course, this also tests the tenacity of two people's feelings and the degree of mutual understanding and tolerance.
In a blink of an eye, the Spring Festival is coming. It snowed several times near the Spring Festival, which is the seasonal law in the north. Before and after the Spring Festival, it was snowing heavily and the temperature was low, so the company stopped exercising during the day and changed to education and study. As Zhang Yibing reported to the group in advance, the proposal of XinBingLian interacting with the performance team was approved. In recent days, two recruits who can play guitar and sing practice chorus every day, and the other four practice three and a half sentences with gongs and drums. Some veterans or company cadres will guide and review the rehearsal results in their spare time, and the company is full of excitement.
On this day, when studying political literacy class, the correspondent came to report. The literary and art team arrived at the regimental headquarters today and will lead the team to the auditorium to watch the performance after lunch tomorrow.
Zhang Yibing's heart beat faster and sent a short message to Xiaomei.
"Now, near my village, I meet people."
Wheat has been very naughty. Tell Zhang Yibing that he has a New Year present for him. As for what the gift is, keep it a secret for the time being.
"Send me a photo of you, will you?"
I haven't seen you for months after the National Day. For couples, even if the phone message is unblocked, it can't cure the suffering of lovesickness. It seems that feelings are real only when we meet and talk.
In the photo, a girl's face is white and beautiful, her long hair is tied up at will, her big eyes are shining with sly light, and a smile on her mouth reveals her unruly meaning. Wearing casual clothes, lounging in a toffee chair, holding a white pet dog Beibei in her arms.
This was taken at home. Although completely plain, you can see the bright white luster and good outline of the skin.
It was this beautiful woman, known as the king of green flowers in the army, who captured Zhang Yibing's heart in an encounter many years ago.
Seeing the lover in the photo, Zhang Yibing's heart was hit hard again and fell into boundless softness.
"I love dreaming recently, and I always dream of meeting you in the coaching staff."
"Haha, at that time, you and Danone always bullied me and stuck chewing gum on my army pants."
"That was the most severe punishment we received. However, it is also my happiest memory. "
When Zhang Yibing was a recruit, he was the backbone of the company. The old company commander asked him why he didn't go to college. He replied that being a soldier is to prove that he can't just study. The company commander said with a smile, still too young.
Soon, the group army allocated the number of places to take an examination of military schools, and the company commander recommended Zhang Yibing without hesitation. When sending students to the teaching team to study, the company commander said to Zhang Yibing: "Take a good exam, and don't come back to me if you can't mention it." At that moment, Zhang Yibing's eyes were red. He didn't say anything, just bowed his head, gave a heavy well, and got on the military truck with a stubborn backpack.
2.
Because I have a good learning foundation at school, I am not sad during the training days of the teaching team. The instructor also likes this soldier who studies very well, and even has some classes for him to prepare lessons for other soldiers. There are two female soldiers in the class, both with short hair and ears, thin and white. One of them is called Bai Fangfang, and the other is called Wang Mei. Wang Mei majored in dance in the local area. She is beautiful and ready to take an examination of military art; Bai Fangfang failed in the college entrance examination, but did well in science, so she is going to enter the Communication College. Both of them are seventeen or eighteen, and they are mixed in a group of male soldiers. These two female soldiers are particularly outstanding.
This day in class, Wang Mei in the front row whispered to Bai Fangfang for a while, looked back at Zhang Yibing and Xiao Dali, and then smiled at each other. Zhang Yibing suspected that the teacher's lecture was slow and kept turning pages impatiently. Seeing the expressions of two girls, I pretended to turn a blind eye and thought, what's the trick if I don't study hard?
Wang Mei and Bai Fangfang handed over two beautifully packaged candies. Zhang Yibing and Xiao Dali didn't even think about it, so they peeled off the candy paper and put it in their mouth. The two girls saw it and secretly laughed while covering their mouths.
After class, Zhang Yibing and Xiao vigorously walked out of the classroom to breathe fresh air, and suddenly understood why the two girls laughed so strangely. It turns out that these two pieces of sugar are dyed. At this time, the teeth and tongues of the two soldiers turned red and black. Now they should be proud. They will laugh their heads off, right? Zhang Yibing and Xiao Dali began to run to the bathroom. They both gargled in front of the tap until the next class.
I went back to my seat and saw two figures sitting in front of me, as if listening carefully. I hate it in my heart Zhang Bing thought, I have to let you both cry once before I know that tigers don't send cats, and you treat me as dead! Thinking of this, I can't help but slam the book I just took out of my desk on the desktop. The two thin figures in front were more than I could bear. They burst into laughter and their shoulders kept shaking.
The teacher looked here discontentedly, but because she was a female soldier, she didn't lose her temper and had to emphasize classroom discipline.
In the afternoon, after the teacher entered the classroom, the whole class stood up to pay tribute. Zhang Yibing quickly put a piece of chewing gum on Wang Mei's stool, and then sat down to answer questions casually.
As soon as the bell rang, the students stood up and handed the roll paper from the back to the front row. After Wang Mei stood up, pants and stool immediately pulled the gum into a stick. Someone gave a gentle laugh, and then more and more people found the staff, and finally the laughter spread like water waves.
Zhang Yibing raised his eyebrows and looked at Xiao Dali, and then the two men smiled proudly.
Wang Mei blushed for a moment, bit his lip and stared at Zhang Yibing tearfully. If the eye is a knife, then Zhang Yibing should have died thousands of times, and it is carried out every year.
Discipline and strict discipline should also be observed in teaching teams.
The noise was so loud that the captain invited Zhang Yibing and Xiao Dali to the office.
The captain denounced the behavior of the two men and summed up their daily performance in Mandarin with a southern accent: "Nothing to mess around, press the bed board and jump up and down like a monkey!" " Did your company commander recommend you? ! "The final definition is a serious violation of discipline, destroying the classroom atmosphere and taking revenge on comrades. The captain saw that the two men were silent, and the more they talked, the more angry they became. Finally, they struck the table and gave an ultimatum-each person wrote 3,000 words to check and read it out publicly at the military meeting. The captain called to picket: "Throw these two awesome soldiers into the brig and let them out if they pass the examination!" "
The picket escorted the two diaosi to the brig. Before they reached the two doors, Xiao Dali took out the momentum of dying and said to Zhang Yibing, "Big cake, my buddy will accompany you, wait for me to go out, just …" Before I finished, the picket picked up his collar and pushed him into the room: What nonsense, go!
Zhang Yibing heard Xiao Dali's loud voice squeeze out of the door at the moment of closing the door: "Another hero!"
Zhang felt that the small voice had completely lost face, and his face turned into pig liver color. He also vaguely felt that the whole king's hand was a little damaged, but he didn't want to admit it because of his feelings.
So Zhang threw it on the ground in annoyance and sat down on the ground. When he found the concrete floor of the confinement room wet, he picked it up with a fucking bang and smashed it on the bed board. At this time, there is probably no language to explain Zhang Yibing's cowardice and embarrassment, so there is no way. I feel a chill in my back at the thought of Wang Mei staring at her eyes that can shoot knives.
The brig, a small dark room, is really a good place to think. It's like thinking of crossing a cliff in Ling Huchong. If there is a younger wine delivery and food delivery, this day will actually be very interesting. Just thinking about it, I feel a little half awake and half asleep. Zhang Yibing thought, Ling Huchong is a hero. When I get out of here, I am also a hero. Xiao vigorously shouted true TM! I can't help shouting to myself that I am a hero!
Such a shout, suddenly aroused, not sleepy, and even flooded with ideas. Pick up a pen and paper and write a critical letter: Dear leaders, dear comrades. ...
3,000 words, almost finished.
Zhang Yibing felt carefree and bright, as if he had really become a young hero.
The next day, Zhang Yibing said to the monitor on duty who delivered the meal, "Comrade monitor, I have written a critical letter. Please tell the captain to let me out. The great rivers and mountains of the motherland are still waiting for me to defend! "
The monitor gave him a white look and said, "You two boys are still so poor at this time. One wants to be a hero and the other wants to defend the motherland. How can two such promising people get into the brig? "
Zhang Yibing soon lost his smile and said, "Young and frivolous, happy time. Monitor, we are still young and not sensible, so don't scold me. "
The monitor snorted and said, "The one next door is poorer than you. I discussed with the changing sentry to get him a deck of poker. He's bored. So the captain spoke and closed it for another day. "
Hearing this, Zhang Yibing blacked out at the moment and his legs went limp. As the saying goes, you are not afraid of God's opponents, but you are afraid of teammates like pigs. This will be killed by Xiao Dali! So I quickly grabbed the monitor's arm, gritted my teeth, stamped my foot, and vowed, "Comrade monitor, I swear by my length of military service that I really regret not making trouble again. Whoever wants to hold me back, I will resolutely draw a line with that person! "
The monitor on duty looked serious, but after seeing Zhang Yibing's written criticism, he felt that the soldier still had medicine, so he took the medicine and left without saying a word.
A few days later, their critical letters were passed at the military conference, and normal study and life began.
The two soldiers stopped for several days, having classes, finishing classes, sleeping and doing exercises. After the lights went out this day, Zhang Yibing couldn't help asking Xiao Dali, "Why don't you reflect on it and ask the sentry for poker?" Xiao Dali proudly said: "I am just an accomplice, and the policy has always been lenient to accomplices."
Xiao Dali lives in the upper bunk of Zhang Yibing, and it is obvious that he ignores this at this time. After listening to his words, Zhang Yibing looked at the bedplate made of pieces of wide plates on the upper berth, and lifted his foot and kicked off a bedplate of Xiao Dali. Xiao Dali fell defenseless from the upper berth to an ice bed, and the two fought bravely, resisted tenaciously and became a mess. Provoked other comrades in the dormitory to be very dissatisfied and made a noise to stop them.
Xiao let go hard and asked breathlessly, "Do you still want to fight?" "Stop fighting!" Zhang Yibing let go and made a small space for Xiao Dali, and they spent the night in a small single bed.
After this incident, Wang Mei saw Zhang Yibing again, just like seeing an enemy. Her eyes are as ruthless as the autumn wind sweeping the leaves. Zhang Yibing is also wise to avoid walking as much as possible.
After this incident, Bai Fangfang seems to regard Zhang Yibing and Xiao Dali with special respect. She thinks these two people are so funny that she dares to think and is not afraid of punishment. This is a fearless and indomitable man. So I will still play jokes on them and share some fruits and snacks occasionally.
Xiao Dali always likes to pass notes to Bai Fangfang in class. Sometimes he makes up his own jokes, and sometimes he doesn't know where he copied the poems. He doesn't know how many times he has to write back and forth in a class. Zhang Yibing was bored and didn't understand why Xiao Dali had become such a sissy. Bai Fangfang always copied Xiao Dali's notes, even the lessons they left in the days when they were imprisoned. Bai Fangfang even compiled a book with notes and exercises. Xiao Dali returned to the dormitory, holding this "treasure book" in his hand, deep and firm, and said in a long voice: "Bai Fangfang is really a good girl." Zhang Yibing completely speechless, they have no choice but abnormal Xiao Dali.
Zhang Yibing on this side carefully avoided Wang Mei just like avoiding the plague, while Xiao Dali and Bai Fangfang on the other side became more and more enthusiastic. One day, Zhang Yibing suddenly realized that Xiao Dali's abnormality seemed to be related to something called love. I can't help but say to Xiao Dali, "Don't forget, boy, that recruits are not allowed to fall in love, let alone fall in love at the station!" Xiao Dali looked at Zhang Yibing like an alien and couldn't help laughing.
"Soil turtle! You are a turtle! What's wrong with dating? The teacher didn't find out, the comrades didn't report it, and we didn't admit it. This is called skill! You have the ability to say one. Let me see? "
Zhang Yibing is a little angry from embarrassment, which is not easy to attack. Obviously, he really doesn't have the ability to fall in love, so he can only suffer from YaBaKui. So he squeezed Xiao Dali's wrist hard and fell backwards. Small strong resistance, two people again a mess. This seemingly violent fight is a unique way for two boys to convey their friendship. However, Xiao Dali always beat Zhang Yibing and had to beg for mercy.
"Still playing?"
"Stop fighting!"
This is a fixed dialogue with the ending of the "struggle" between two people.
Xiao Dali urged Zhang Yibing quite deeply and maturely: "If you catch up with Kao in our class with your brain, you don't have to worship me anymore!"
After this day, Zhang Yibing realized that in love, Xiao Dali was more capable or talented than himself. So he gave Xiao Dali a nickname-Xiao Daren.
Falling in love, falling in love, is just like playing games. It is impossible to increase the experience value without going through the process from easy to difficult. Now, for Zhang Yibing, a novice with zero experience value, it should be said that it is lower than the probability of being killed by lightning eight times. Regardless of the technical level, it is embarrassing enough to say that the problem between two people is so deep. How can you let a girl who regards herself as her sworn enemy be your girlfriend? Besides courage, you need luck, the luck of a giant diamond hitting your head!
So Zhang Yibing decided not to think about it for a while. Anyway, he doesn't like the girl who is regarded as a goddess by all male soldiers. He thought to himself, as the saying goes, teen wolf is full of meat and porridge. Since you like it, go after it. I jumped out of the three realms, not in the five elements I just want to study hard and make progress every day.
At that time, they were really too young to understand what love was, or love was not a thing at all. In these immature hearts, it takes root without warning, but people have no clue and don't realize it at all.
& lt space is limited, and the article has not been published yet, so please look forward to it >
- Previous article:Ask for a few jokes (with chasing points)
- Next article:Will the WeChat yellow content system automatically seal the title?
- Related articles
- Funny jokes that will make you smile crookedly
- Hitler's military conference, which was repeatedly spoofed, came from that movie?
- "My head is not made of dough." I keep seeing this meme recently. What does it mean?
- Couple jokes in bed (send a couple pillow joke to you)
- To what extent does a man give a woman a ring?
- There are more men than women on the earth. Why do scientists predict that men will disappear in the future?
- What is the funniest movie?
- Someone found me stealing oil from a forklift in an iron factory, and people called the police to arrest me. Is it okay if I run away?
- The stars have already arrived, why don’t you come?
- When getting along with girls, what are some tips for making girls happy?