Funny jokes that will make you smile crookedly

1. Zhu Bajie was making out with Chang'e on the moon. Suddenly a black shadow passed by. Zhu Bajie hurriedly chased him out with a nail rake. After a while, he came back and said: Damn, Yang Liwei... .

2. One day on the bus, a woman left her seat in order to buy a ticket. When she came back, she found that her seat was occupied by another woman, so she was very unwilling and shouted loudly. He said something like: It’s not good to lay eggs, but it’s quite fast to occupy a nest. The woman sitting on the seat heard this, stood up quickly, and said with a smile: Sorry, I delayed your laying of eggs!

3. A man raised a parrot, which was very powerful. The other birds in the cage were killed by it. Later, the owner brought back a hawk and put it next to it. When the owner came to take a look, there were parrot feathers hanging outside the cage. The master said: I won’t do it this time. But when I looked carefully, I saw that the eagle was dead, and the parrot was naked and said: This grandson is really powerful, he really can’t beat Ya Ting without taking off his shirt.

4. A driver drove a truck full of hens and teased his parrot while driving. A beautiful girl asked for a ride. The driver put the parrot in the truck box with the hens and invited the beautiful girl to Sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver asked the beautiful woman tentatively: Can I kiss her? The beautiful woman shook her head very shyly and said: No. After waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked again: Can I give her a hug? The beauty still shook her head and said: No. The driver said angrily: If it doesn't work, get off. After driving for a while, the driver felt that what he was doing was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and asked the beautiful woman to get in the car. But after driving for a while, the driver asked without giving up: Can I kiss you? The beautiful woman still shook her head, can I give her a hug? The beauty still shook her head and went down if it didn't work. After repeating this three times, they finally arrived at the chicken farm. The driver opened the car and saw that there were not many hens left. The parrot picked up one hen and asked: "Can you kiss the beauty?" The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked again: "Beauty." Can I give it a hug? The hen still shook her head. The parrot said: If it doesn't work, go down. The hen was thrown out of the car...

5. In the bus, a modern girl was wearing a low-cut dress and a pair of pants decorated with airplanes. necklace. As soon as a young man got in the car, he stared intently at the plane on his necklace. So the girl couldn't help but asked curiously: Sir, do you like this necklace? The man replied: Oh! No, I was just admiring the runway.

6. There is a girl working in an IT company. One morning, the weather was particularly nice, and the IT girl was so focused on her work that she didn't even notice that her skirt was caught in a drawer. When she stood up her skirt was torn with a hiss. Colleagues all heard the news and the IT girl quickly picked up an IT magazine next to her to cover her lower body. Unexpectedly, my colleagues burst into laughter. It turned out that the cover of the magazine was an advertisement for an online game: it has a large capacity and can accommodate 100,000 users at the same time. The IT girl picked up another magazine. Colleagues laughed again. The cover of this magazine was anti-virus software: Beware of viruses. The IT girl was so angry that she almost fainted. When she picked up the third magazine she fainted. The third magazine is a hardware magazine with a USB flash drive advertisement on the cover: Plug and Play. In my daze, I still remembered to protect the key parts, so I casually pulled the fourth magazine to cover it. When I woke up, I saw it was a shopping guide magazine with a message: 30% off discount! I fainted again.

7. A: After reading the book "The Annoying Brothers", my wife gave birth to twins. B: That’s nothing. After my wife read Alexandre Dumas’s “The Three Musketeers,” she gave birth to triplets. C: Oh my god, how can this happen? My wife is reading "Alibaba and the Forty Thieves"!

8. One day, the school was cleaning. When I was cleaning the window, I stood on the table because the window was relatively high, but I couldn't clean the glass below. When I passed by, mm yelled to rub my private parts. I was shocked. Asked where? mm said my lower part, please help me wipe it. The whole class burst into laughter

9. Tang Monk: We should find a shortcut to learn scriptures this time! Wukong: Flying is faster than riding a horse! Bajie: Shenliu is faster! Sha Monk took out a gun: I heard this The toys were sent to the West immediately.

10. The wife was pecked by a rooster. She was very angry and chased the rooster until she was panting from exhaustion. My husband tried to dissuade her to no avail, so I chased the hen with a broom and beat her. The wife was puzzled, and the husband explained: It bullied my wife, and I dealt with it.

11. One day the geography teacher asked the students, where does the river flow? One student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward. The teacher ignored him and continued, "How many stars are there in the sky?" The classmate sang again: "The stars in the sky join the Big Dipper." The teacher was furious: Get out of here! Student: Let’s leave as soon as we say. The teacher said helplessly: Are you sick? Student: You have what I have, I have everything! Teacher: Please say one more thing... Student: Yell when you see an injustice on the road! Teacher: Do you believe that I will beat you? Student: It’s time to take action Then he took action and the teacher was angry: I will let you drop out of school! Student: Traveling to Kyushu!

12. A farmer drove a donkey into the city and met a rogue. The rogue asked: Have you eaten? The farmer said: Eat! The scoundrel said: I am asking about the donkey! The farmer turned around and slapped the donkey twice and said: I am not honest! I have relatives in the city and they didn’t even say a word!~~~

13. Sorry, it’s so late. I’m sending you a text message. If it disturbs you, let me tell you - you deserve it! Who told you to go to bed earlier than me, haha

14. A fugitive who escaped from prison was caught When we came back, the police asked: Why did we need to escape? The answer: Because the food was too bad. Asked again: What tool did you use to pry open the iron door of the prison? Answer: The fried dough sticks in the morning.

15. Autumn is the harvest season. Others' gain is success and happiness, your gain is the realization that not everyone will be successful and happy.

16. At night, the wife heard her husband crying, so she pushed him awake and asked: What’s wrong with you? The husband rubbed his eyes and said: I dreamed that I was married again. The wife was happy: That’s great, why are you crying? The husband said with a sad face: But you are still the bride. . .

17. I was simmering rice at noon and asked my husband: Do you want softer rice or harder rice? My husband looked at me disdainfully and said: It sounds like you know how to simmer it. I hope I'm a good person

18. Wife: Which team is playing which team? Husband: France is playing Nigeria. Wife: Is this the Chinese Super League? Husband: World Cup. Wife: Where is the Chinese team? Husband: Watching TV like you. Wife: Why don’t you go up and play? Husband: FIFA won’t let you. Wife: Is it because of the Diaoyu Islands? Husband: Because my level is not good. Wife: Isn’t there Yao Ming? Husband: Get lost

19. Wife, it’s so hot today, why don’t we go out and find a place to play? Where do you want to find a cool place where you can play in the water? You can turn on the air conditioner and wash your clothes

20. If I had known that it would be so difficult to get into the egg hatching university! I wouldn’t apply, complained a rooster.

21. If you are so cold, you will have no friends to talk to the electric fan about the air conditioner.

23. The pilgrim asked the abbot: What made you abandon the mortal world and become a monk in the temple to practice. The abbot smiled slightly: Because of my cat. The pilgrim was puzzled and asked: What does this have to do with cats? The abbot said quietly: When I was young, my business failed and I was destitute, so I cried to the cat at home. I asked the cat, where should I live? The cat raised its head. Say to me: Temple (meow)!

24. I had a dinner with my friends. By the end of the meal, no one wanted to pay. I stood up and said, "Well, for the sake of fairness, I will hide it. Who will go first?" How about finding me who will pay?

25. When I got up in the morning to inflate the bicycle, I couldn't help but feel sad. I will buy an electric inflatable when I get rich, so I won't have to be so tired anymore! < /p>

26. People are divided into two categories: one is frugal as if they will live forever; the other is extravagant as if they will die tomorrow.

27. My wife ran away from home because I often beat her. This made me very regretful as to why I didn’t break her legs in the first place.

28. If a person does not eat what he likes, he will offend his mouth, his stomach, and his heart at the same time. How could he live happily when he offended so many organs in his body at once?

29. Appearance beauty is indeed important, but appearance beauty alone is not enough. We should also sympathize with those who are not beautiful in appearance.

30. The smell of cooking fumes from my neighbor’s cooking these past two days has always been very strong, and it has drifted into my room. This makes me very upset. I should not have smashed the glass of his kitchen last week.

31. Can you please give me a big hug? Okay, even a small hug can’t hold you.

32. A boy in the class skipped class and went out to play ball. He was discovered by the head teacher, who blocked him at the door of the classroom. The get out of class was almost over and the boys came back. The teacher asked: Where have you been? The boy calmly replied: When he went to the toilet, the teacher pointed at his sweaty head and asked: What's going on? The boy held it in for a while and said: Teacher. . . I have constipation and can't hold it in.

33. There is a message on the wall of the school toilet that says: XXX is here for a visit. . . As a result, I found a sentence on the wall the next morning: Did you enjoy swimming in the urinal? It tastes very good!!!

34. I woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly saw a little red light in the distance. Alas, I forgot to turn off the power again. I pressed it with my hand, and damn! The mosquito coils were not burned out. .

35. I took the bus to work today. A little girl came and said to me: Uncle, can you give me a seat? Seeing the cute little girl, I gave it to her like a gentleman. seat and look forward to her response. Unexpectedly, she said: Uncle, although you don't look good, you are still quite sensible.

36. After the son separated into separate beds, he always wanted to find a reason to sleep with his mother. Once, the son stayed on the adult bed and refused to leave. The mother asked him why he didn't go to sleep by himself. The son said quiply: He couldn't sleep alone and wanted to find a girl to accompany him.

37. My dad was shaving this morning, and my mom said: Why do you keep shaving when you have nothing to do every day? My dad replied: If it doesn’t let me show its face, I won’t let it show its head!

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38. My mother said to me: When you go out from now on, don’t call me mom, call me sister. Me: Why? My mother smiled and said: That makes me look so young! My father said from the side: If you want to look younger, you should call me grandma.

39. Buy fruit. The boss said: 5 apples, 20 yuan a ***. I thought it was expensive, so he said: Can you order less? With a sudden movement, the sign was torn off and fell to the ground, breaking into two pieces. The boss's face changed when he saw it, and the waiter said in a hurry: Boss, this is a good sign. Boss: Is this a good sign?! ??Guy: It’s a good sign that we’re going to open a branch.

41. I just threw rubbish into the trash can downstairs from upstairs, but it was thrown outside. When the cleaning man saw it, he raised his head and asked: Why are you throwing rubbish downstairs?! Me: Because Throw it upstairs, but I can’t throw it.

42. Today a customer came to my restaurant for dinner. As he was eating, he said: Why is there no air conditioning in your restaurant? I pointed behind him and said: Isn’t the one behind you the air conditioner? , didn’t you see such a big vertical air conditioner? He looked back and said: Damn! Why does it look like a refrigerator? Funny jokes that will make you fall down laughing

1. I went to my sister’s house to have some rice and steamed crabs. My brother-in-law gave me one. Four-year-old niece: Dad, you eat. Dad doesn't eat it, leaving it for his aunt and baby to eat. Little niece: Dad, you can't be like this. You have to be kind to yourself. You are like a cow every day and don't eat. You are exhausted. There will be other uncles who spend your money, live in your house, sleep with your wife, and beat you. It’s your baby’s! Eat it! Eat it quickly!!

2. My husband stayed in bed in the morning and wrapped himself in several layers of quilts. I was so angry that I tied him into a quilt with a belt around my waist, and then went to work. When I came back in the afternoon, I saw my husband maintaining the same look as in the morning, looking at me with a resentful look in his eyes. He said: It’s not the key to be hungry all day, it’s not the key to being too hot without air conditioning, it’s not the key to go to work tomorrow to explain that you’re not at work and not answering the phone, the key is: you can’t hold back your urine

3. Mother invigilates the exam In second grade English, the listening question is to make a smiling or crying face while listening to the dialogue. There is a little girl in the second row who has just transferred to another school and her English is not good. The little boy on her right will turn his head and make a smiling or crying face at her every time he listens to a question. . My mother later told me with a smile that this was obviously cheating, but I didn’t care because it felt so clean.

4. After an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl, his friend said: This girl is really wronged, and you can be her grandfather. The old man was very dissatisfied: I am even more wronged. Her grandfather is two years younger than me, but I still have to pretend to be a grandson!

5. There once was a girl who was willing to lose her life for me. She said firmly: If you keep pestering me, I will die.

6. A kissing scene appeared on TV, and the father asked his son to get a glass of water.

Soon, there was another kissing scene on TV. The father asked his son to get another glass of water. The son asked: Dad, do you get thirsty when you see someone kissing you?

7. The old couple went to take pictures. , the photographer asked: Do you want metering, backlighting, or full light? The uncle said shyly: I don’t care, can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt?

8. Chatting in the British student group . Some patriotic young people were filled with indignation and said: Let's take advantage of the riot to snatch back all the Chinese cultural relics in the British Museum and return them to the Forbidden City! There are so many porcelain, bronzes and so on! People in the group responded one after another and made suggestions. Someone said quietly: What should I do if I snatch it back and then it is smashed by the Forbidden City? The group suddenly became quiet.

9. After the wedding, the groom said to the bride: I will go out with my friends to play cards and drink at any time, regardless of whether you agree or not!! After hearing this, the bride replied tepidly: I will go out at nine o'clock every night Have sex on time, whether you're home or not.

10. As soon as the boy arrived at his girlfriend’s house, he couldn’t wait to kiss her! The girlfriend said: No, my aunt is here! The boy felt very strange: What does kissing have to do with his aunt? So the boy forced him Kissing his girlfriend, suddenly a woman rushed out of the kitchen! The woman pointed at the boy and cursed: Why are you bullying my niece?!

11. A bride asked the wedding officiant: How much does it cost to host a wedding? Officiant : It depends on the situation. Well, generally speaking, the more handsome the groom, the higher the fee. After hearing this, the woman shyly took out 5 yuan and handed it over. The emcee looked back at the groom, and then calmly found 4 yuan.

12. A real romantic proposal should look like this: A personable man invited 10 colleagues to dinner, including his favorite sister. Halfway through eating, he suddenly stood up and walked to mm, then moved the chair where mm was sitting at 90 degrees to face him. At this moment, mm's mouth was filled with all kinds of food. At this time, he suddenly took some food from his pocket. Out

4 wads of money said: This is a deposit of 40,000 yuan, will you marry me? mm was stunned immediately, tears of excitement burst into her eyes, she sobbed and took out the banknote detector. After a moment Said: These are all true and I am willing!

13. I just went to the train station to buy a ticket, but I came back empty-handed. I saw a slogan on the road: Chengdu is a place you don’t want to leave once you come there. Now I finally understand the meaning of this sentence! Chengdu, please put me on the train tonight!

14. Award notification: Under the leadership of the principal, the support of the Academic Affairs Office, the cooperation of the logistics department, and the guidance of the instructor Under his guidance, three students from our school won the first prize in the trophy essay competition held by universities in Tianjin. Due to limited space, the names of the winning students will be notified separately!

15. After the conductor desperately pushed the last passenger onto the bus, the passenger kindly turned around and advised: Sister, please stop crowding. I really can’t get on. Let's just wait for the next bus

16. At the school job fair, Michelin (which makes tires) asked a written question: Why don't birds get electrocuted when standing on high-voltage wires? A classmate in my dormitory answered: Because he was wearing Michelin brand rubber shoes! As a result, he was the only undergraduate student hired in the school

17. During the military training in the university, I met an instructor, who made the whole class miserable. At the end of the military training, in order to celebrate the liberation, everyone enthusiastically threw the beloved instructor into the air. When he landed happily, they found that everyone below had already...

18. Taking the bus today, A buddy's cell phone rang, and the ringtone was shortcut: Son, son, answer the phone, I'm your dad. This guy picked it up and shouted: Dad, what's going on? I'm working on the bus. After a while, the call came again, and the ringtone was: Dad, Dad, please pick up the phone, I am your son. When this guy picked up the phone, he shouted: Boss, what's going on? We all laughed so hard, man, how much hatred do you and the boss have?

19 On the day I broke up with my girlfriend, my girlfriend said: Actually, I also want to cry, but reality tells me not to cry. My head was hot at that time, and I said with a smile: Are you afraid that your makeup will fall off?

20. A bachelor proposed to his girlfriend, but was rejected! The bachelor said with low self-esteem: Forget it, I will never even think about it in my life. Married! His girlfriend took pity on him: Why should a man worry about not having a wife? If I reject you, I don’t think others will reject you. The bachelor sighed: If you don't even want me, who else wants me!

21. In the early morning, I was washing my face, and my son suddenly yelled "Invincible Tietou Kung" and then lowered his head towards me. Rushing over, my mind twitched, and I picked up the stainless steel basin to block myself.

Immediately afterwards, the cry of the son and the roar of the wife were heard.

22. I just went downstairs for a midnight snack and farted loudly and smelly in the elevator. In order to hide my inner embarrassment, I glared at the guy next to me. I kept staring at him, but the guy finally got impatient and said: What the hell are you pretending to be, it’s just the two of us here!

23. I have liked a girl for a long time, and I confessed to her today, and I said: I like her You, although I have nothing to give you, but I will make you happy, be my girlfriend! Seeing her hesitation, I said firmly: I still have two kidneys!

24. My son is a freshman in high school. After the monthly exam, the school held a parent-teacher meeting, and my father went to attend. After the father came home, he scolded his son: You are the only one who failed in English in your class. The son said loudly: I don’t blame you. The father was stunned and asked: Why do you blame me? The son said: Blame you for not buying me a mobile phone

25 In the classroom, Xiao Ming leaned his head on the chair and refused to listen to the class. The teacher asked with concern: Are you sick again? Xiao Ming said without raising his head: Yes, I have a headache. The teacher said: Do you have a doctor's certificate? Take it out and you can go home and rest! Xiao Ming said: It's because the doctor doesn't issue a certificate, so I have a headache. Teacher: Get out

26. Sister Feng has been depressed because of her appearance, but she has no choice but to feel that she has nothing to be proud of. One day, a boy saw Sister Feng's slender jade fingers, as soft as boneless, and couldn't help but exclaimed: Where are these hands? Sister Feng was overjoyed, someone finally discovered her strengths, and she was just happy when she heard the boy say: This It was like chicken feet! Sister Feng choked at that time.

27. When the boy gets up in the morning, he calls the girl. Boy: I dreamed about you last night. My pants are all wet! The girl shyly says: Hate it, what did you dream about? Boy: I dreamed about you. You took off your makeup and it scared me so much that I peed! Girl: Get out! Funny jokes about stomachaches caused by laughter

1. Two 2Bs forgot to bring paper with them when they went to the toilet and pooped. They were too embarrassed to leave, their legs were numb from squatting. After squatting for too long, one of them said: Let’s go quickly after we’ve done all the work.

2. Open a shop in my circle of friends all year round to sell clothes, facial masks, jade, watches, shoes, and bags. . . Shopkeepers, it’s the end of the year! Please pay the rent on time. Thank you for your cooperation!

3. When I got home at night, my husband took the key for a long time without putting it into the keyhole. The daughter-in-law said angrily next to her: If the door were a woman, she would die in a hurry.

4. When I was taking the bus, a girl (who I knew) got on the bus. I patted my thigh and said to her: There are soft seats here! Unexpectedly, the girl shouted: Forget it, the soft seats will change after a while. The hard seat turns into a socket, and you can't walk at that time!

5. A student at a driving school just learned to reverse a car into a garage and was not very proficient, so he asked the coach: Coach, how far is it? The coach looked at him He glanced at it and said calmly: You are still one step away from being the King of Furong.

6. The big brother who was handing out flyers at the entrance of the shopping mall said: Please help me throw it away. Throw it far away, thank you.

7. I just went out and saw an old man who had fallen down. I went over and asked: Sir, my monthly salary is less than 3,000 yuan, can I help you up? Uncle: Young man, let’s go. Wait a little longer.

Me: Okay, thank you uncle! Although the weather is cold, your words are warm and full of positive energy. .

8. If I am the second generation of rich people, do you know what this means? It means that I am not actually the second generation of rich people.

9. If every Chinese gives me 1 yuan, do you know what it means? It means that I think beautifully.

10. I have been ugly since I was a child, and no one has paid attention to me. I seem to experience the feeling of being looked at by many people. Shopkeeper: Is this why you urinate and defecate under the surveillance camera?

11. Customer: Boss, do you have noodles? Boss: Yes, Customer: How much is a bowl? Boss: Six yuan, Customer: It’s not expensive. Give me two steamed buns~, boss. . .

12. I said: Master! I have seen through the world of mortals and want to become a monk.

Master: Go away, you do this every month just for a few dollars of haircut fees?

13. A: You must be particularly worried about what to eat for lunch every day, right? B: That’s right! How do you know? A: Because there is no lunch for idiots.

14. My cousin is taking the driving license test. In order to practice his skills, he drives the family tractor all day long around the village. . . As a result, during the test, he couldn’t turn, so he rolled down the glass and looked at the front wheels. The instructor asked him what he was doing?

He said: This car is not as advanced as a tractor, and I can’t even see how the front wheels turn! < /p>

15. Pol.ice stopped the truck driver in an attempt to make some money, but it was neither illegal nor overloaded, and the documents were complete. pol.ice: Back up the car and see if the reversing light is on!

The driver got in, started the car, shifted into reverse gear, backed up a few meters, stopped, turned off the engine, got out of the car, and said to the traffic police: No problem, the light is not broken!

pol.ice: The light is not broken, if you drive without wearing a seat belt, you will be fined 100!

16. Remember it was a cold night, My ex suggested eating Malatang. I asked him cautiously: Do you want to sleep with me several times a night with a bowl of Malatang like you did online? He quickly denied it, saying that he would never do that. I looked at him with disdain. Said: If you can't do it several times a night, let's break up!

17. My boyfriend took time off on Sunday to go out to find me, and then I came to have sex with my aunt. He wanted to have sex, but it didn't work. He actually asked me if I could hold my aunt back. I said how could I hold it back? He actually despises me for not being able to control my aunt. I can't control it...

18. I introduced a male friend to accompany and chat with me. I said you have a sharp tongue and a lot of money. He asked me: What if she wants me to play with her body? I won’t be able to live well down there! I said: What are you afraid of? Don’t you have a sharp tongue?

19. It’s hard to have a rest today. One day, my wife was not at home yet, so I called her. Me: Wife, where did you go? Wife: I was shopping with my best friend. Damn, my wife’s words are unreliable these days. Her best friend is clearly in my arms! Tell your girlfriend funny jokes to make her laugh

You can tell your girlfriend jokes when she’s in a bad mood. , the following funny comments are guaranteed to make your girlfriend laugh.

1. Could it be that you are the little novice adopted by the mentally retarded master of the Shaolin Temple who was unparalleled in swordsmanship and martial arts in Huashan back then? The cockroach Xiaoqiang once rolled over was crushed by Wangcai, his imbecile pet dog. A ball of dung?

2. The fool stole the beggar's wallet, and the blind man saw it. The mute roared, which frightened the deaf man. The hunchback stepped forward, and the lame man kicked it. The criminal wanted to take him to the police station, but Mazi said, it depends on my face.

3. Money can buy a house but not a home, it can buy a marriage but not love, it can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

The 4.5-year-old daughter asked her father to help her do something. Dad: Dad is very tired. Please praise me a few words. If you praise me a few words, I will feel energetic again. Daughter: Lao Zheng! Dad: Hey! Daughter: Your Niuniu is so beautiful

5. Happiness is: I am hungry, and when I see someone holding a meat bun in their hand, he is better than me Happiness; when I'm cold and see someone else wearing a thick cotton-padded jacket, he is happier than me; when I want to go to the hut, it's just a pit, and if you squat there, you are happier than me.

6. My girlfriend was listening to her Walkman in the back row. Her ears were blocked, so she spoke very loudly. She said to her deskmate: Teacher, come here and tell me. Almost all the students heard it. The teacher was no exception. He looked at the classmate and said: I can't pass!

7. I have no experience chasing girls for the first time, so my brothers gave me some advice and asked me to invite the girl to watch a movie. I wanted a ghost movie, and I made an appointment with the goddess last week, and she agreed. The effect was pretty good, just like what others said. As soon as it started, I buried my head in her arms.

8. A man in the village bought an electric car and tried to ride it on the road. At this time, a stranger came over and said that your car is very good-looking. Can I try it? Then he let him try it. , then he slowly got on the bus and rode slowly, slowly. Riding away.

9. I caught the bus in the morning. When I arrived at the platform, the bus had already started. So I had to chase and shout: Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! At this time, a passenger stuck his head out of the window and said to me: Wukong, please stop chasing me.

10. In the past, you would often encounter people secretly asking you if you wanted a mobile phone on the street. Now it is even more terrifying. They are blatantly selling human organs. Today, I accidentally bumped into a woman while walking and I didn’t even have time to say sorry. , the woman actually asked me loudly, do you want to be ashamed?

11. If a man can take the place of a woman to take care of aunts, dysmenorrhea, pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage, dystocia, caesarean section, heavy bleeding, breastfeeding, artificial milk extraction , out of shape, worried about betrayal, I am willing to buy a house for a man and take care of him for the rest of his life.

12. When I was a child, my parents always believed that when a girl gets older, she will change. The ugly duckling will turn into a white swan, and then marry a rich man and become a rich woman. One day when I grew up, my father looked at me very attentively and spoke seriously. Said: Son, you should study hard

13. My younger brother was in the fifth grade of elementary school. During a Chinese language test, he explained the meaning of the idiom Liushenwuzhu? Guess how he wrote Nima! What he wrote was, Whose bottle of toilet water belongs to me? I’m so stupid, I’m on my knees!!

The 14.5-year-old daughter asked her father to do something for her. Dad: Dad is very tired. Please praise me a few words. If you praise me a few words, I will feel energetic again. Daughter: Lao Zheng! Dad: Hey! Daughter: Your Niuniu is so beautiful

15. People are lazy animals, just like caught frogs in a stew pot: The water was heating up, and although it felt bad, it was still bearable, so it endured it. When the water is heated and boiled, it wants to resist and escape, but it is powerless.

16.100 years later, China is awesome. A group of uneducated Americans are complaining that the English version of the software developed by China's giant hardware company is released too slowly, so that they have to use the informal English version. Moreover, some software does not support English well.

17. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 20 years; I swallowed an aphrodisiac, and the world immediately became sexy; the waves of the Yangtze River are getting more and more waves every generation.

18. When I went to my best friend’s house for dinner, I said to my best friend, if I get dumped by a man one day, will you take care of me like you do now? But this girl turned around and said to me : You said it as if someone wanted you, but I was speechless

19. At night, the father took his daughter to release the Kongming Lanterns. After the Kongming Lanterns rose into the sky, the father said to his daughter, Make a wish quickly, it works very well! My daughter looked at the Kongming Lantern that was gradually disappearing, clasped her fingers on her chest, and said loudly: I want it to fly back immediately!

20. A buddy, when he eats moon cakes, he Diarrhea, that year, I was curious and ate with him. I saw him take out the mooncake, tear open the desiccant in a gorgeous way, sprinkle it on the mooncake, take a bite, turn around and say to me, don’t you eat the mooncake without spreading it? Material?