Joke 100 points!

Sino-American people's livelihood showdown

China's salary is 5,000 RMB. Every time he eats KFC 30 yuan, he eats out at least 100 RMB, buys a Levis400 yuan, buys a car at least 30,000 RMB-Li Xia, drives from Beijing to Guangzhou-1400 RMB, and buys a suite of 2 million RMB-outside the Fifth Ring Road in Beijing.

The salary in the United States is 5000 dollars, a KFC is 4 dollars, a restaurant is 40 dollars, a Levi's is 20 dollars, and a car is up to 30 thousand dollars-BMW, driving on the east and west coasts of the United States-140 dollars.

oosperm

My girlfriend is more than one year older than me. One day, after dinner and chatting, she was a little impatient and suddenly said, "What are you talking about?" When I was one year old, you were just a fertilized egg! "

The most precious legacy of the elderly

The old man divided his son's inheritance before his death. He said to his eldest son, "Your daughter-in-law is going to give birth soon. I'll leave you my passbook." He said to his second son, "You are getting married soon. I will leave you the house." Finally, he said to his youngest son, "I don't trust you the most." I don't have a girlfriend yet, so I will leave you the most precious legacy. " The younger son was secretly pleased, and the old man said, "I want to give you the QQ number. There are more than 100 young girls in the friends column. "

President Yamaki raped the door.

I saw a website news: "President Sam resigned because of rape."

-User thread: Beast! Rape the door!

Eat tofu reasonably

I always had a crush on her when I was studying, but I didn't have the courage to express myself, let alone touch her. She got married after graduation, and my husband and I were classmates. That afternoon, she was breast-feeding, and I made a good excuse. I walked up to her, put my hand on her MIMI, and then told her doll to call uncle, don't shout, don't eat!

The standard of dream lover

Former dream lover: fair-skinned, intellectual, sociable, wearing a long white dress, long shawl and big waves.

10 years later, I found my dream lover: fair-skinned, intellectually gregarious, taboo, wearing a long white dress, shawl and long hair, big waves and big waves.

Thank the bee for stinging JJ

A couple went camping, and the man was stung by a bee when he urinated. In the tent at night, I reluctantly OOXX. Afterwards, the girl burst into tears: Thank you, Little Bee!

Dirty magic show

At the annual meeting, every student has to make a program. A classmate performed an unusual magic trick, went on stage, sat on a stool, put the book on the zipper of his pants, and then stared at a girl in our class. 1 minute later, he performed a magic trick, and the teachers and classmates burst into tears ... The name of this magic program is ... Movable Book.

Sexual hints of young lovers

"The couple watch the World Cup. The wife hugged her husband excitedly and said, "Are you going to shoot tonight?" The husband pushed his wife away and said, you know a ball. Shooting at your own door counts as losing, and shooting at others counts as winning! 』

The cutest flirting language

-mm, the cutest flirting language I heard this year, said to me: If you want to hold it, it's okay to hold it.