The cry of the "older woman" in Beipiao didn't know she was wrong until she was 34 years old. Why?

With the increasing pressure of life, the average age of people entering marriage is getting bigger and bigger. Because in the past, the bride price may be enough for a man to marry a wife, but now a man needs not only a bride price, but also a house, a car and a deposit to get married. As long as these are lacking, it may directly affect whether a man can marry a wife. It is for these reasons that many qualified men are afraid of getting married and choose to be single. It is precisely because of these reasons that there are quite a few single women in reality.

The other day, I received a private letter from such a woman.

Hello, teacher! My name is Xiao Fang. I am 34 years old. I come from the south. It has been five years since I chose Beipiao. I chose to drift north, not for my dream, but to escape my parents' blind date, because I don't want to marry a man I don't like. I came to Beijing when I was 29 years old. Five years have passed in an instant, and I am 34 years old. Now I am honest, regretful and anxious.

Now I am anxious and afraid of these three questions.

1. Afraid of not getting married.

Before I was 34 years old, before I was rejected by men, I always thought that in this age of more men and fewer women, women can marry anyway, because there are more men and fewer women, and any woman can choose a good home. I can think of a blind date the other day. I was rejected by a man who was married for the second time. When he told me that he would rather marry a second married woman than me, I understood the society's rejection and resistance to older single women.

It is for these reasons that I am very afraid that I will not get married in the future, because there are really no suitors around me now. Over the years, I met a man who wanted to get married, but he was rejected several times. I really don't know what to do.

I'm afraid something will happen to my parents.

Because I am not married at the age of 34, I have brought a lot of troubles and pressure to my parents. They are often laughed at by their neighbors, so their pressure is actually very great. In the past two years, there have been more and more white hairs on their heads. So I'm afraid that my parents will get sick because of my affairs and other reasons. Because I am the only child in my family, I know I was wrong at the beginning, and I shouldn't add so much pressure and anxiety to my parents willfully.

Now I even think, why not just find someone to marry, stabilize my parents' emotions first, and then live slowly, but now I am not qualified to choose, because I am not only old, but also unsuccessful in my career, and I have no choice at all.

3. Fear of your future.

To tell the truth, my life is still very long, and I have been single for a long time, especially in this indifferent metropolis. I often think that it would be nice if I had a man who could accompany me and take care of me. It is for these reasons that I am very afraid of my future. I think, after my parents leave, I will die alone. Do I still have hope?

Bian Xiao has something to say:

Hello, Xiao Fang. I felt a lot after reading your story. To tell the truth, I don't think you did anything wrong, because everyone has the right to choose their own love and marriage, and no one is qualified to judge. In my opinion, a woman can't marry any man at any time. At least she needs to choose a man who suits you. This is responsible for herself. Because living alone is better than living with someone you don't love, as a philosopher said. At first, I thought the most unfortunate thing in the world was to die alone, but later I found it wrong, because the most unfortunate thing in the world is not to die alone.