Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

1, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

Spring is the season of colds and high spirits. Someone accidentally caught a cold, and someone accidentally fell in love. I belong to the former.

I don't need you to understand, I just need you to shut up.

Damn it, you can make a movie after 33 days of lovelorn love, and your brother's lovelorn experience can make a TV series.

A woman redder than a red diamond falls in love with a man yellower than a yellow diamond. Finally, a mistress who is greener than a green diamond came and gave birth to a son called a member.

After all, I can't outrun that BMW, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

7, look into my eyes, in addition to gum, you will see perseverance and sincerity ~ ~

8. I really wanted to live a ups and downs life. But now my greatest wish is to get married and live at home soon. Then, I hold my son in the morning to feed him, do massage and wipe my face in the afternoon, and learn to cook at night. Finally, in the dead of night, wrapped in a blanket, staring blankly at the bright moon.

9. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

10, when arguing with others, take a step back; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

1 1, it was dark at night and I suddenly wanted to study, but it was already dawn when I found the candle …

12 As Lan Yan, I suddenly understand that Lan Yan is exercising her boyfriend's obligations but has no fucking boyfriend's rights!

13, as long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

14, after many years, if you get married, if I don't, tell your daughter to be careful on the way after school …

15, this year's festival does not accept gifts, only pretty girl paper!

16, the husband and wife divorced for their children, and the wife confidently said, "Everything that comes out of my stomach is mine!" The husband said, "Joke! This is complete nonsense. Can the money withdrawn from the ATM go to the ATM? It's not who gets the card! "

17, someone passed by a tea shop called "Chen Can Western Tea Shop", so someone replied that they wanted to open a Cecilia Cheung bakery nearby. There are also posts saying that Xie Ting Royal Jelly Shop, Daniel Wu Chuanlao Chinese Medicine Shop, Elva Hsiao Paper Shop, Nicky Wu Breast Professional Club, Jay Chou Tire Shop, Eason Chan Jiekuai Shop, Aoi sora Hanging Brick Shop, Guo Fu Chengdu Snacks ...

18, people who have been dissatisfied with their hair styles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that this is a face problem.

19, when I saw your face, I felt that your parents were not serious when they made you.

20. Emperor: Sister Rong, why do you make things difficult for Swallow and Wei Zi everywhere? What's your motive, you humble slave? Sister Rong knelt on the ground and said with tears in her eyes, Your Majesty, do you remember the summer by Daming Lake and Sister Rong who was rowing?

Domineering love: I just want you, enough.

1, I will accompany you forever. What I say doesn't count, and time will tell.

The best moment in life is now. Don't waste your life!

When you need to ask for help, you know that the most reliable thing is yourself.

4, sometimes lively and cheerful, sometimes domineering and vicious.

Love can be given, but can't be taken away, otherwise it will come to an end.

Aunt, lend your daughter this month and pay you back one big and one small next year.

7. There are so many rich people, why can't you count me in?

It was a long time ago that I met her, but since we separated, the time has become longer, and the east wind has started and a hundred flowers have blossomed. In spring, silkworms will weave until they die, wax torches will turn to dust and tears will flow dry.

9. Even if the whole world denies me, I still feel like a good woman.

10, I don't want chocolate, roses or diamonds. I just want you. That's enough.

1 1, don't lean on the fence, it's thousands of miles away, it's easier to see when you're away. Running water is gone, and spring is gone. Do you still miss me?

12. Thank you, my husband. Now he takes the trouble to pick me up from work every day, without interruption, and never gives me a chance to go home by bus alone.

13, don't treat me like a fool. . Don't treat me like a child. . Because I'm not as gullible as a fool. . Not as easy to coax as a child. .

14, once became a fool for a girl, *

15, one of the common mistakes people make is to take time to care about those who don't care much about you.

16, because I loved you, I know the taste of loneliness. Because I am sad, I often cry. Because I don't want to miss the happiness of this stop, I cherish you more.

17, how much truth is hidden in our jokes; Who can understand, who can see through

18, the proudest thing is not being chased by many people, but having someone who will never give up on you anyway.

19. Conscience is equal, and heroes don't ask about their origins.

20. Can you drive me crazy this time?

2 1, the person who left first really didn't think about the way back.

22, don't delete you, just want to see how you write to that woman's mood.

We are not what we were when we first met.

24. I always thought that time would filter everything, but I was just escaping.

25, baby: I have a toothache recently, because I often miss you at night, and I feel too sweet, which will lead to tooth decay.

26, learn to put the person you like in your heart, like it silently, there is no need to make public.

27. Water will flow away and the fire will go out, but love can compete with fate.

28. Loneliness is just a gorgeous bluff. Who is who, will continue after thousands of years.

29, I don't like to take the initiative to find you, because I am afraid that it is my self-love. Zhang

30. Caress a song of flowers and smoke, smile a little in this life, dream a few times of tenderness, and turn into a dusty dream.

3 1, I hope your ears can't hear disturbing words.

32. I can't hear someone say that they love me but care about others.

As long as you are willing to talk to me, I will talk to you. It's as simple as that.

First, if we can't catch the shadow of the past, we can look at the past with a smile.

Second, I am really not sad, but I am really unhappy without you.

Third, those proud beliefs have now flooded out of memory.

Even if you are a knife, I will hold it in my hand, even if it is bloody, I will never let go.

I am a homesick person. I don't like running around. I'm too tired.

Six, one card per second is very chic, and one stop per second is very stylish. Buffer.

Seven, I can't cry when I bleed, turn on the light when I am afraid of the dark, miss when I am tired, be empty when I am weak, and miss home when I grow up.

I didn't mean to miss you, I just couldn't control my heart.

It doesn't matter where I am without you.

I think one day, I will air-dry into a city like a relief. Vicious lines, sad colors.

He has occupied my place in your heart.

12. Thank the people who were by your side in the past for not taking you away, so you are by my side now.

Thirteen, if you have someone in your heart. Then don't let others fall in love with you.

I'm wasting time, I'm wasting time, I'm blurring the present, and I'm afraid of the future.

Fifteen, can we not be brave?

Sixteen, I want happiness is very simple, someone to love, something to do, and expectations.

Seventeen, I love you, through life into life; I love you, not just by saying it.

Eighteen, as long as you are willing to find me, I will talk to you, as simple as that.

Whatever I do is ridiculous in your eyes.

Even if you lie to me, at least I can comfort myself that you still love me.

Happy break-up, I wish you happiness. You can find something better. ..

22. How wide is that person's heart? He didn't call the day he aborted the baby.

Twenty-three, the road is your own choice, so even if you fall and get hurt in the future, you should learn to bear it and learn to heal yourself.

I'd rather have a pile of open guns than a dark base.

I don't need you to be brave, I just want you to be happy.

1, give me a small sun to drive away the cold on cloudy days in winter.

If you leave me, don't comfort me. You know, every sewing will also encounter the pain of puncture.

The greatest advantage of traveling is not how many people you can meet and how many beautiful scenery you have seen, but walking and suddenly getting to know yourself again under an opportunity.

There is no beginning once and for all, and there is no unbearable ending. In life, what you need to grasp is that you should start without hesitation; If it's over, it's over cleanly.

5. Growth means going to class and going to work as usual the next day, even if you are heartbroken and dying. No one knows what happened to you, and no one cares what happened to you. Only you know your future. Since the explanation is not clear, I won't explain it. No one cares about your youth, and don't let others affect your youth.

6. People who can think of others will never be lonely.

7. Life can't be as good as you think, but it can't be as bad as you think. I think people's fragility and strength are beyond imagination. Sometimes, I may be too fragile to burst into tears at a word, and sometimes I find myself gritting my teeth and walking a long way.

8. With you, I understand that happiness is neither getting nor giving. Happiness can only exist when giving to each other and arousing each other's desire to give.

9. Don't wait to love or be loved. Our time is limited, and our time is precious. We should take time to love ourselves. Learn to be independent. When your heart is strong enough, you can bear the happiness of others.

10, the heart is heaven, once you think of hell, happiness is determined by your heart. Just like air exists, you can only find it by breathing hard. But when you breathe so hard that you can't breathe, you are afraid of losing. If you cling to happiness, you will be unhappy.

1 1, sometimes, I accidentally know something, only to find that what I care about is so ridiculous.

12. When I was young, in those long sunny afternoons, I did nothing and was fearless, just because I knew that there was an eternal wait in life. Frustrations come and go, tears flow and are put away. Nothing can discourage me, because I still have a long way to go, and you, you will definitely come.

13, the darker the sky, the more you can see the stars.

14, some songs are hard to hear because the lyrics coincide with the previous situation. There are some things I don't want to say, because it reminds me of the past. Some roads are unwilling to take, because it is inevitable to encounter the past again. Experience, not endless, north and south, but, words to the mouth, finally silent. The story that really entered my deepest heart is beyond words. A sunny day that I can't go back. Now I look at the clouds alone and don't talk about the past.

15, don't mind what others say. I tried my best to be together. Don't ask me if I love you, love will last for a long time.

16, happiness is for feeling, not for comparison. Life is for career, not for care. Feelings are for maintenance, not for testing. Love is for love, not for hurt. Money is used to pay, not to measure. Lies are for debunking, not for whitewashing. Trust is for precipitation, not for challenge.

17, if you can promise me a future, I will definitely show you long sleeves; Smile all your life, just for you; Turning to the world of mortals, I would like to sing a song with you forever.

18, have a tight mind when you are free, and have leisure when you are busy. This is beyond the limits of the environment.

19, I wish I had a house, not a mansion. If you are not disturbed, you will die happily.

I don't need you to be brave, I just want you to be happy.