Tell me some humorous jokes! !

1. Baby: "Mom, can you give me twenty dollars?"

Mom: "Go, go, don't go."

Baby: "Mom, if you give me money, I will tell you what Dad said to the maid when you went to the beauty salon."

Mom: "OK, here you are! What did he say? "

Baby: "He said,' Xiao Wang, iron this shirt for me.'

2. Father: "How did you get a' 0' at the beginning of the exam?"

Son: "The teacher said to start with' 0'."

Wake Town has been very chaotic recently, and many people go out without wallets. Searle went to work early on Wednesday morning, and just a few steps later, he was caught by a man with a knife.

"Take your wallet or I'll kill you."

Shel proudly said, "I didn't bring it." If you don't believe me, you can search. "

The man rummaged all over and left disappointed. Suddenly, a child with a wallet ran over and shouted, "Dad, you forgot your wallet!" " "

One day, my wife didn't have dinner at home, and my 7-year-old daughter sat in her wife's position, pretending to be her mother. I couldn't help laughing when I looked at her behavior. My son doesn't believe that she impersonates her mother.

He said rudely, "Do you think you are a mother today? Do you know what 99 times 5 is? "

The daughter took her time and answered without hesitation, "Son, I don't have time. Ask your father. "

A lady lost her purse in the rush of Christmas shopping. An honest little boy found the wallet and returned it to her.

The lady looked at her purse and said, "Well, that's interesting. When I lost my wallet, there was a 20 yuan banknote in it, and now it has become 20 1 yuan change banknotes. "

The child immediately replied, "Yes, Miss. Last time I found a lady's wallet, but she didn't have any change to give me a reward. "

6. Little John said to his classmates, "My mother is so prescient! She said it would rain today, so let me take an umbrella. You see, it does rain! "

The classmate said, "My mother is more prescient! She said, "Little John is going to take an umbrella anyway, so take him with you! "! "

7. An old gentleman walked slowly along the street and saw a little boy reaching for the doorbell, but the doorbell was too high to reach. The kind old gentleman stopped and said to the child, "I'll ring the doorbell for you." So he rang the doorbell so hard that the whole house heard him.

At this time, the child said to the old man, "Now let's run away, quick!" " "

8. The mother said to her son, "Toto, go and practice playing the piano. I'll give you a franc. "

The son replied, "All right. However, our neighbor promised me two francs if he didn't play the piano! "

One night, little Peter's mother told Peter the story of her childhood. When she talked about wading around the pool, picking fruits and riding horses, Peter's eyes widened: "Ah! Mom, "he sighed," I wish I could meet you earlier! "

10. Dad: "Did you cry your neighbor's children again? Do you know what people will say? "

Son: "I know, they all say that I was exactly like you when I was a child."