Super funny jokes, please send some! !

There are regional differences, and I don't know where you are from.

Look at these two.

It is said that once Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao were flying together, and they suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone was nervous for a while. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan, cleared his throat and said, "Well, if I can answer a few questions, I will skydive." If I can't answer them, I have to jump by myself. " Others have no choice but to agree.

Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple and replied, "One." So I took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied: "One." He also took an umbrella bag and went down. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Cao was puzzled and couldn't answer, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea and saved his life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced.

The second time, when four people met an emergency by plane, they still discussed it in the old way. Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "What was the battle when Zhou Wuwang defeated Zhou Wang?" Liu Bei thought simply and replied, "The Battle of Makino." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge Liang nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, I know everything from ancient times to the present, especially the military." You fell this time. " Zhuge Liang asked, "What's the name of the soldier?" Cao Cao almost fainted when he heard this, so he had to jump himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea again and saved his life. Cao Cao laughed to himself.

The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane was in an emergency. As soon as Cao Cao thought about it, Zhuge Raul tried to fool me again, so I jumped myself to avoid being insulted. So he jumped to his feet, and during the high-speed descent in the air, he heard Zhuge Liang shout to him, "Meng De, there are four parachutes on the plane today. . . .

The classroom discipline of a class is extremely poor. In class, the students chattered endlessly. No matter the teacher shouts loudly or slaps the table on the bench, he just can't calm down.

One day, several famous domestic comedians came to class, and their opening remarks were much better.

Mr. Zhao Benshan grabbed his hand and stepped onto the platform, circling several times with a unique pace. When he saw that the students in the class still didn't mean to calm down, he said to himself, "I can't believe you, demo." Teacher Zhao then raised her voice and said, "Students, please listen to the question! Let's talk about a person first, walk into the duck shed and leave immediately. Excuse me-why? " The students froze for a while and fell silent. Teacher Zhao Benshan smiled: "Needless to say, ducks croak, which is very noisy."

Pan Changjiang jumped onto the platform, waved his hands and shouted, "Hello, classmates! Concentrated products are fine, and all the noise is crows. Are you like me, the best in life, or croak like a flock of crows? "

With his hands behind his back, Mr. Fan Wei stepped onto the platform in four steps, stretched out a finger and mysteriously said to the artist, "Shh, do you want to know the topic of the exam the day after tomorrow?" Hearing this, the students immediately quieted down, pricked up their ears and prepared to listen to the next sentence. Fan Wei, the teacher, was still striding around the podium discontentedly. He turned around and said, "Ordinary people, I won't tell him …" Suddenly, I fainted.

Teacher Feng Gong's opening remarks are still so emotional, with tears and tears all over her face: "Students, I miss you so much!" The students' enthusiasm for discussion suddenly dropped below zero.