How funny was the comedian Hou in Sui Dynasty?

Hou Bai, Su Jun, was born in Linzhang, Sui Dynasty. He is very sensitive and eager to learn. Later, he took the scholar to Beijing and worked as a scattered official in North Korea.

He is clever and eloquent, especially good at saying humorous words and gags. He is straightforward, approachable, informal and has no scruples when joking. At about that time, the wind of Wei and Jin dynasties still existed, and people did not think highly of him, but loved him. "Where you are, the audience is like this city."

Just like comedians nowadays, wherever they go, they will cause onlookers. His "fan base" even includes emperors and powerful ministers, and even Su Yang, the eccentric King of Yue, especially likes him.

Speaking of Hou, few people know it now, but when it comes to many words he created, few people don't know it, such as "Get carried away". They all think this is a catchword on the Internet. In fact, as early as the Sui Dynasty, this statement existed.

On one occasion, Hou Bai chatted with Su Yang, the founding hero of Sui Dynasty. Su Yang said, if there is a pit 100 feet deep, how can you jump in and get out? "

Hou Bai said, "Give me an injection and I will come out?"

Su Yang was surprised: "How did you come out with a needle?"

Hou Bai said, "Stick this needle in my head and let the water out of my head so that I can float out?"

Su Yang asked curiously, "Where did you get so much water in your head?"

Hou Bai said, "If there is no water in my head, why should I jump into the hole you dug for me?"

Su Yang laughed.

This joke of two people, I didn't expect it to become a buzzword after more than 1000 years.

Hou Bai has been such a clever and humorous person since he was a child. When he was a child in Linzhang County, a new county grandfather Hou Bai and a group of local literati visited him. Maybe this county magistrate is domineering, and everyone has a bad impression. Before going, Hou Bai said, "I can make the county magistrate bark like a dog."

People don't believe it.

Hou Bai said you'll wait and see. They met the magistrate.

The county magistrate asked some local things.

Hou Bai said: "The law and order here is not very good. We should let every family have a dog, so that the dog will bark at the thief. "

The county magistrate nodded again and again: "I will take the lead in raising one."

Hou Bai said: "My family has added a new litter of puppies called' Yo Yo'."

The magistrate said, "No, a good dog should not bark like that, but should be called' No' ..."

When they saw this, they all laughed secretly.

The Sui Dynasty began to implement the imperial examination. Hou Bai took the exam, was admitted to the scholar, and came to Chang 'an. Staying in the county will get you into trouble. The Sui Dynasty began to implement the imperial examination. Hou Bai took the exam, was admitted to the scholar, and came to Chang 'an.

Here, he met Su Yang.

The imperial examination in Sui and Tang Dynasties was held in May of the summer calendar, when Sophora japonica was in full bloom, so it was said that "Sophora japonica was busy".

At the beginning, people paid special attention to locust trees.

Just where they are, an ancient locust tree died.

Yin Zhongwen of the Eastern Jin Dynasty once lamented under the locust tree that "it is impossible to resume business"-there are many allusions in it.

Su Yang either wanted to test the knowledge of these performers, or he deliberately joked with them and pointed to a dead locust tree and said, "Which one of you can bring this locust tree back to life?"

Weightlifters are not magicians, of course, they don't have this ability.

Everyone was speechless, and Hou Bai said, "I can!"

Yang Suda was interested: "How did you save people?"

Hou Bai said: "Take a bag of locust tree seeds and hang them on the locust tree, and he will live."

Su Yang was attracted to him as soon as he talked to him.

Once, they rode on the road and saw a dead locust tree.

Su Yang said, "Hou Xiucai, do you have the ability to keep this tree alive?"

Hou Bai said, "What's the difficulty? Just hang a bag of locust tree seeds on the tree. "

Su Yang was surprised: "How did you survive?"

Hou Bai said, "Didn't the Analects say,' How dare I die when I return'? "

This is an allusion in The Analects of Confucius. When Confucius traveled around the world, he was separated from Yan Hui once. Confucius thought Yan Hui was dead, and he was very sad. Later, Yan Hui found Confucius, who told him what was on his mind. Yan Hui said, "How dare you die with your son here?" This child is Confucius, and this time it is Yan Hui.

However, Hou Bai skillfully used flowers instead of trees and played a joke on Su Yang with homophonic words.

Su Yang was very happy to let Hou Baizheng work for himself.

The two became good friends who talked about everything.

On one occasion, he saw Su Yang and Niu Hong go down to the stadium together.

Hou Bai said, "It's getting late ..." The sun went down.

Su Yang immediately touched his stalk and said with a smile, "So you saw the cattle and sheep circling?"

The key to this stalk lies in a sentence in the Book of Songs: "At dusk, cattle and sheep come down."

Niu Hong and Su Yang are just "cattle and sheep".

It seems that in the Sui Dynasty, there was no culture and I couldn't even understand a joke.

It is precisely because Su Yang always catches the gist of jokes that Hou Bai also regards this leader as a confidant.

On one occasion, a man named Liu Jin went to visit the then Prime Minister Su Yang. Not everyone could see him, so he went to find Hou Bai. Hou Bai said it was easy. He wrote his business card for six and a half pounds and handed it to Su Yang.

When Su Yang saw this name, she was very curious and found this person. When asked about six pounds, it was funny: "How do you write six pounds and a half?"

Give six pounds and answer truthfully: "It is you who are wrong."

Su Yang called Hou Bai and asked him why he had made a mistake. Hou Bai said, "When I first met him, I didn't have a scale. I heard that his name is in his early sixties. I weighed it and thought it was six and a half pounds. "

Su Yang couldn't help laughing out loud and sent the man away happily.

Su Yang drinks with Hou Bai after work. Hou Bai said: "The back is as big as a house, the abdomen is as big as a bowl, and the mouth is as big as a cup."

It stumped everyone at once. What has a back as big as a house, a belly as big as a bowl and a mouth as small as a cup? This ratio is completely out of balance, so it can only be a monster?

Everyone is guessing and don't know what it is.

Finally, Hou Bai revealed that the answer was: "Hu Bird's Nest."

Swallows nest on the roof, but isn't the whole house its back?

They want to know this layer, and they are convinced.

But it's too hard. Some people say that you should simplify it.

?

Hou Bai added, "It's a cow from a distance, but it's a cow from a close look. It's a cow, but as big as a dog. " -It looks like a cow, but it's as big as a dog.

Presumably, it is easy to guess. Some people say it's a deer, but it's nothing like Niu Yi. Some people say it's roe deer, which has nothing to do with cattle.

Everyone had to admit defeat and fined three glasses of wine. Please tell Hou Bai the answer.

Hou Bai said, "This is a calf ..."

Everyone was angry and funny, stamping their feet again and again.

I have seen this stalk in many cross talks later. For example, in Feng Gong and Niu Niu's "Holding a Party", I borrowed a sentence: "It's a donkey from a distance, but it's actually a donkey. I just can't ride it." The answer is dead donkey. -This stalk is obviously changed from Hou Bai's riddle.

On one occasion, he got off work from Su Yang and went to the door to meet Yang Xuangan, the son of Su Yang. Yang Xuangan pulled him, trying to tell himself a joke.

Hou Bai had to tell a story: "There was a tiger who wanted to find meat in the mountains. I saw the thorn lying on my back, just showing my stomach. The tiger was about to stick out its mouth to catch it when it was suddenly entangled in thorns and wrapped around its nose. The tiger was startled and ran away, not daring to stop. Running all the time, sleepy and tired, I fell asleep unconsciously, then let go of the tiger's nose and left. When the tiger woke up, he suddenly found that the hedgehog on his nose was gone, and he was very happy. It went under an oak tree and looked down at the acorn. So he lowered his head and said,' I met your father during the day, and I hope you will make way for the time being.' "

This story was used on North Korean stamps.

This joke is a pun, telling Yang Xuangan a story and his own dilemma.

Hou Bai became the first laughing star of Sui Dynasty at that time.

"Sui Shu" said that he wanted to see him "where he is, the audience is like this city". Listening to his jokes is probably like seeing a star now. Later, Emperor Wendi called him to the palace, and he was very happy to listen to him.

But such a pistachio has no dignity as an official.

Although many people recommended Hou Bai to be an official, Emperor Wendi of Sui said, "He is not suitable for being an official." Indeed, when you make Degang Guo a director or something, men want to laugh when they see it, so it's impossible to work.

Later, the envoys of the Chen Dynasty came to the Sui Dynasty. This emissary thinks that Chen in the Southern Dynasties is a place where cultures gather, and the Northern Dynasties is the hinterland, so he is very arrogant. Emperor Wendi of Sui sent Hou Bai to see him.

As a result, the messenger Chen Chao lay in bed and said to Hou Bai, "What is the price of horses in your country?"

The Southern Dynasties lacked good horses. The messenger asked this question. Maybe he also undertook the task of buying horses.

Hou Bai said, "There are several horses with different nobles. If the muscles and feet are strong, the appearance is not ugly, and they can withstand riding, it is worth more than 2000. If you are strong, but you can carry things, it will be worth more than four or five thousand. If you can't do anything and fart on your side, it's worthless. "

Chen Chao's emissary was surprised and realized that he was rude.

This incident made Emperor Wendi of Sui see that Hou Bai was joking, but at the critical moment, he lost his dignity and sealed him as a five-grade official, but Hou Bai died a month after accepting it.

Unfortunately, a generation of comedians will not last long.