The number one joke, that one.

1 There was a trap crossing the road and I was accidentally run over by a truck. When he died, he looked at his body and said, "I was stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

There is a polar bear, because the snow is too dazzling, he has to wear sunglasses to see things, but he can't find sunglasses, so he crawls around the ground with his eyes closed until his hands and feet are dirty. Put on sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find: Oh, I'm a panda.

3. A polar bear stayed in a daze on the ice. When he was really bored, he began to pluck his hair, one, two, three, and there was no last one left, and then he froze to death.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird that passed through a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn! ! ! After the bird flew by ... it thought it was snowing, so it was very cold.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he ran outside crying and flew away.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly refused it. Spider asks: Why? This is why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who fool around on the Internet all day are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he skinned it. As a result, the banana in the back fell down. Then peeled bananas become dried bananas ~

Where's Xiaoming? He will have an exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV in the evening.

Xiao Ming's mother asked anxiously: Have you finished all the books? There will be an exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming replied brightly: Mom, I finished reading it.

Xiao Ming's mother praised Xiao Ming happily: Good boy, then you must do well in the exam tomorrow.

Xiao Ming cried and said, Mom, I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'.

9. Pandas love deer deeply, but they are rejected when expressing their love. Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, my mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad teenagers.

10 which is the coolest Chinese character? Thong (cool)

The towel said to the coin, son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times.

The "ruler" said to "do": Sister, the results have come out. You are pregnant with twins.

The minister said to the giant: the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.

1. Don't go to the toilet on April Fool's Day, really! Again, this is not a drill. Don't go to the toilet!

I suddenly felt uncomfortable in my stomach, ran to the toilet, unbuttoned my pants and squatted down, feeling very comfortable.

Look for toilet paper when you're done. I was shocked. There is no paper in the empty scroll. In an instant, I understand that today is April Fool's Day, and I curse that people don't want to see here!

Urgent, I suddenly found a mobile phone in my pocket, and I cried with joy. I was especially careful not to fall into the pit and lose the last life-saving grass.

Telephone colleague 1, "I'm in the toilet and there's no paper. Come and save me! " "Colleague replied:" Today's April Fool's Day, someone just called for toilet paper for emergency. Why would anyone? Not credible! ".I hung up when I was finished, and I was scolded.

Phone No.2 colleague, "I'm in the toilet, and there's no paper. Come and help! " Colleague replied: "Today is April Fool's Day. I refuse to go out to work. Sorry! "... finished, hang up, pain.

Phone No.3 colleague, "I know today is April Fool's Day. I am in the toilet and there is no paper. Please come to the first aid, please believe me! " "My colleague replied," How can you imitate me? You just cheated someone with this trick. How to use it without consulting? "... say that finish. Hang up, helpless.

Colleague number four is dialing. A squat toilet next door rang, "friend, don't count on it. I have been here for three hours, and my mobile phone is dead. I'm not out of the Woods yet! "

Syncope.

When I was in college, one day at noon, I was too lazy to go downstairs to buy rice. Usually, I ask others to help me with my meals, which makes me more and more difficult to get along with. I caught a guy this time, forced him to roll around, and finally got it. Go happily

Get down. I like squatting at noon. There are few people and they will not be disturbed. You know, the noise in the next pit will affect my feelings.

Emotion and rhythm. Looking at the toilet literature written on the wall, most of these things are poorly written, but I think

The image power is very rich. . . . . (Sorry, digression) Suddenly my grille door was opened. done

The guy who cooked for me smirked. I know, I can't. I'm at a disadvantage this time and I can only be pushed around.

. The general trick is to push you from behind when you urinate. Bad luck, no room.

Hands on the wall, so we must use our faces. It's embarrassing, but it's better than being planted in a urinal. Many students' glasses are like this.

Not good. Far away, guess what, this bastard stuffed me into a rice bowl full of rice and ran away.

I can't tell you how embarrassed I am after this incident. From then on, I made up my mind to take revenge. I go to the bathroom as soon as I have time.

Turn, but this guy is a ghost. I haven't caught him for a long time. Finally, one day the opportunity came, with one of my informants.

With the tip, I can finally get revenge. This guy must have diarrhea to let his guard down so much. I came out of his apartment.

She brought him a quilt and sneaked into the toilet. . . . . . , "eldest brother, eldest brother, I was wrong, last time.

The truth is that I was wrong. . . Shit, asshole, you're still human! You wait. . . . . . Brothers, is anyone there?

What? Come and give me a hand. "(in the above dialogue, with obvious and sincere KuQiang). After a long time, I

Going to the bathroom is like being a thief. But it turns out that there are so many toilets in the school. Finally, we made up.

. This guy is in Germany now and misses him every time he goes to the toilet safely.

three

I hurried into a men's toilet with two stations to urinate, and found that neither urinal flushed.

1. If I don't want to go, I'll go back-damn, it's so dirty, how can I go? I met him when I went out.

People, for a while, heard the people inside say, "Why are people always unconscious?"? ! "(injustice ing)

2. After finding a good one, wash it off yourself-why don't others consciously? (Uneven)-Get out

I met a person and someone inside said, "Why was this person so unconscious just now?" (depressed ing)

3. After finding a good one, wash off two-do the good thing to the end (self-appreciation)-and go out to meet someone.

After a while, the people inside muttered, "How can someone help me flush?" (ashamed ing)

4. After finding a good one, wash away the other one-the mind is a little abnormal (upside down)-and go out and meet someone.

The people attending the meeting said, "Someone is always unconscious!" (glad ing didn't do it himself)

5. After finding a good one, I walked away ―― others didn't rush me, and I didn't rush myself (looking for an excuse) ―― and went out to meet someone, in a short time.

The noodle man said, "Shit, I didn't flush the toilet."

6. I left after a rush-I forgot to go to the toilet (I have obsessive-compulsive disorder)-I met someone when I went out, and the person inside said, "What?

Yao this person unconsciously "(regret ing)

7. Wash one, pee one, go away-I have to go to a clean (cleanliness)-go out to meet someone, and later.

People face to face say, "Some people just don't realize it?" (blushing ing, regretting not washing it off)

8. Wash one, pee one, and then wash what I have done-I am more conscious, sweeping the snow in front of my house (satisfying ing)-

When I met someone when I went out, the person inside said, "How can someone be unconscious?"

9. Wash off one and wash off the other when you pee-dude, I'm juggling (I'm going to pee my pants, let's go.

I forgot the one I rushed to)-I met someone when I went out, and later I said, "This person is really unconscious" (grievance)

10. Wash one, pee one and wash two-a good person with cleanliness (consciously)

1 1. Wash two and go-mental derangement (not in the mood to go to the toilet)

12. Wash two, find one to pee, go away-anticlimactic (inattentive)-go out to meet someone, and soon.

Face-to-face people say "this person is really unconscious" (confused)

13. Take two breaths, take a piss, rush over and walk away-perfect, I'm really a living Lei Feng.

four

Last weekend, I visited a museum, and people were in a hurry, so I ran to the men's room. When I got there, I banged.

Lock the compartment, unbutton your pants, and you'll be ready for convenience. Suddenly, in the small room next door, there came a man's voice.

Question:

"Hey, buddy, how are you?"

I usually don't talk to other men in the men's room, but I don't know why that day, so I casually replied, "Still."

All right. "

Just as I was concentrating on what I should do, the next door spoke again:

"What do you want to do?"

I think this guy is too friendly. How can he make friends with others in the toilet? Maybe he

Lonely, right? So, although I was reluctant, I answered him: "I will go home after watching the exhibition."

"Can you come to see me later?"

Now, I fully understand who I met: either a perverted homosexual or a psychopath. I

I couldn't stand it any longer, so I gave him a hard answer:

"boring! Please leave me alone. "

The people next door didn't say anything. I finally breathed a sigh of relief. We must take such a mental illness seriously.

Suddenly, a voice came from next door:

"I'm sorry, David, I'll turn it off first and call you later. There is a pervert next door who is always there to answer my questions ... "

A person was in a meeting, and suddenly he wanted to defecate, so he came out, but he couldn't find the toilet anywhere, so he put the plastic bag in a corner and solved it on the spot. When he finished, he picked up the plastic bag, glanced at the window above, and threw it out with a whoosh, only to find that it was stuck on the wall, which turned out to be the shadow reflected from the window behind! Depressed! At this moment, a female cleaner came, and he greeted her with a smile: Sister, I will give you 50 yuan, will you help me get the shit off? The woman looked up for a moment, took out 100 from her pocket and said, big brother, I'll give you 100. Please tell me how your shit got up. That's great.

If you do it alone, you can't pull it out He has been in it for half an hour, and he is very upset. At this moment, there was hurried footsteps outside the door, and he walked into the next room. As soon as the door closed, he heard a burst of diarrhea next door. The man said, brother next door, I really envy you for pulling it out so soon. Shout next door, envy! Haven't come yet and take off your pants!

Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he hissed. What did you say he took out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)