A collection of jokes about the quarrel between husband and wife

1, a couple quarreled, and her husband went to the bedroom to rest after dinner. The wife went to the bedside and found a piece of paper on the small table beside her, which said, "Mom, wake me up at seven in the morning. -The child is his father. "

The next morning, the husband woke up and found that it was almost eight o'clock-he looked up and saw an extra piece of paper on the table and took it. It says, "Dad, get up. It's seven o'clock. -The child is his mother. "

2. Two women are communicating. A: "My family has an unwritten rule that couples should make up before going to bed anyway."

B: "Good rule, did you do it?"

A: "I did it! Remember once, we didn't sleep for two or three days ... "

3. After the husband and wife quarrel, the husband scolds: "You should remember that whenever a man thinks correctly, his judgment is accurate, while a woman is just the opposite!"

"Yes, it is absolutely right for you to choose me as your wife, but it is a big mistake for me to choose you as my husband!"

On the platform of the station, a couple are complaining to each other. The husband looked at the second bus that had left and said to his wife, "It's all your fault! If you hadn't dawdled, we would have taken this train. "

"It's all your fault!" The wife replied, "If you hadn't been urging us, we wouldn't have to spend a lot of time waiting for the next train."

5. One night, a couple were quarreling. ......

Dave: OK, stop it. You will disturb your neighbors in the middle of the night.

Wife (argumentative): At five o'clock in the evening, it is obviously 2: 30 in the middle of the night. Why three o'clock?

After quarreling for a while, the husband felt that his wife was unreasonable and slapped her in the face!

The wife shouted: help, you killed someone in the middle of the night!

Husband: I'll tell you why you were beaten in the middle of the night.

6. Mr and Mrs China.

Father: "Do you want this man to be your husband?

Accompany him to eat melamine milk, water-injected meat, contraceptive fish, Ming capsules ... forever? "

Bride: "the most poisonous woman is popular, I am willing!" " "

Father: "Do you want this woman to be your wife?

Buy her cadmium rice, lean meat, Sudan red, gutter oil, gelatin yogurt ... forever? "

Groom: "No poison, no husband, I am willing!" " "

Father: "I congratulate you on becoming Mr. and Mrs. China in the name of Marx"! ! !

7. Husband and wife play in two parks

Today, my wife and I went to the park and saw some peach blossoms.

Jokingly said: I'll go around under the peach blossom tree to see if I can have peach blossom luck this year.

The wife said: then you are busy first, and I will go there to find an apricot.

8. Tombstones of husband and wife

My husband erected a tombstone for his wife who was still alive.

It says, "My wife is buried here, as cold as ever."

The wife also gave her husband an epitaph: "My husband is buried here, and it is difficult to really' harden'."

9. Husband and wife buy a house

The daughter-in-law begged her husband to go to the city to buy a house. The husband said, what's good about the city? A noisy house is so expensive!

The daughter-in-law did not listen to her husband and agreed. They came to a sales office and looked at a building carefully. Daughter-in-law said happily: we will buy the top floor, eighteen floors!

Husband said: eighteen layers of hell are unlucky!

Daughter-in-law said: Then we will buy the eighth floor?

Husband said: seven ups and eight downs, eight floors are not good!

Daughter-in-law said: Why not just buy the first floor?

Husband said: What's the difference between buying a first floor and living in a bungalow? Nothing interesting!

The daughter-in-law got angry when she heard it: forget it, don't buy it, or go back to live in our adobe house and say nothing!

10, a happy couple

I had a cold war with my husband these two days, but I still hugged each other when I fell asleep.

After waking up, I looked at each other and then turned back to back in embarrassment.

I don't know who hugged who!

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