Tsai Kangyong: Speaking bluntly and being rude are two different things!

1

The words you say represent the kind of person you are.

Recently, a classmate complained to me about her friend. The main reason was that he spoke too bluntly and had a severe headache. He was tutoring English for free but did not receive any support. Maybe the way he spoke was different. The problem is, we are about to break up.

I know this feeling very well. I used to be afraid to go out because of allergies on my face. One time when I went out, I happened to meet a friend. She came up and said, "What's wrong with your face?" ? Like a ghost!”

It’s not that exaggerated. From then on, I blacklisted this friend in my heart. Although it was just a blunt statement, I felt offended at the time. Her blunt words made me feel no kindness at all, which is why I hate her.

2

When I was in college, after my roommate in the dormitory was promoted to a minister, he always spoke in a commanding manner and didn’t even knock on the door when he entered the teacher’s office. I really hated this. After that, he could only be a minister. When I found out later, everyone was disgusted with him.

This is the rule of adult social interaction: Just because others don’t say anything doesn’t mean they agree with you, because you can’t see someone when you look up and you can’t see someone when you look down.

I think about it carefully, why do many people hate straight-talking people? Later, I finally figured out the real reason: It’s not that I hate speaking outright, but I hate speaking without manners and lack of cultivation.

Because they only care about themselves when they speak, and do not consider whether the attitude of speaking takes care of the other person's feelings and whether they give others respect for their personality. , whether people feel goodwill is the essential reason for being annoying.

I am most afraid of a kind of person, such as "I speak more straightforwardly, don't take it to heart", and then I don't care if you can accept it or not, I will speak out loud, that's what I am I want to criticize you with the most vicious and cruel words.

They use the umbrella of the advantage of speaking the truth to cover up their rudeness, lack of cultivation, and lack of empathy.

3

Once, my best friend, I and another friend went shopping together to buy skirts. My best friend picked out a beautiful windbreaker and couldn’t wait to buy it. She tried asking for our opinions. When she was fully expecting to get a good review, the friend's words shocked everyone present:

Come on, your taste is even worse. My mother, you are not tall to begin with, so your whole body is made dark and short. Also, with your hairstyle, you couldn’t be more ugly.

As soon as she finished speaking, her best friend’s face darkened. Although she knew that her friend was used to this, it was inevitable to be hit like this in front of other customers and shopping guides. There will still be some embarrassment.

Before I could say anything, the smart shopping guide girl was busy trying to smooth things over:

Everyone has different aesthetic standards. It looks pretty good to me, it fits well! The unique design looks cute and cute, and the style is different from usual. You can change your mood by changing it! This beauty, would you like to try it too? It seems suitable for you to wear.

I just want to say that she uses TikTok too much!

Sometimes when we do something wrong, we already blame ourselves very much, but unexpectedly we will be traumatized again.

Why are you so stupid! You can't do this, just like a pig!

Forget it! As we wait, the chaos becomes more and more chaotic!

There are also comments like this:

I just saw a boy’s clothes are really bad, and he is wearing black and red clothes in school all day long. dress.

You don’t even know this, your mother didn’t teach you!

……

Perhaps outspoken people really don’t deliberately want to attack the other party, because they don’t know how to be subtle. Euphemistic. But isn’t that really a form of vitriol?

Being straightforward is a kind of mature naivety, and being quick-tongued is a kind of hurtful stupidity. Not all open-mouthedness is the same as straightforward speaking.

Some people are shady and don’t say anything with their mouths, but they go too far behind their backs. The city is extremely deep, so naturally we Don't like to associate with such people.

But there is also a kind of outspoken person who never realizes that he hurts others, and even hopes that others will not take it to heart at all. He feels that it doesn’t matter what he says, as if he said: I never You are so outspoken! Don't mind! That will solve all the problems.

Often, we tend to mistake open-mindedness for outspokenness.

You hate the hypocrisy, selfishness, and subversion of this world. Why don't others reject it when you talk openly and harm others to your own benefit? You laugh at other people's darkness and hurt them invisibly, but you don't know that you are hurting people on the stage.

I never consider the feelings of others when speaking. Is it really an advantage to be so forthright? The pace of life is very fast every day. Everyone goes to watch jokes and short videos to pass the time, watching those born after 00 becoming famous, the snack sellers earning over 10,000 yuan a month, and the delivery guys have cars and houses, and they are always on their own Comfort, I want to get out of society as soon as possible, but are you willing to be a hawker who wakes up early and is chased by the urban management (civilized city construction seems to be prohibited in some places)? Those guys who go out early and come back late, using their lives and dignity to deliver food? Life is not easy for everyone. I hope that everyone will read more and enrich themselves while on campus, and take your time and pace.

3

Let’s think carefully about those people around us who speak very bluntly and are annoying. What is another reason? It’s the “personality attack and judgment” that I just improved!

For example, you just gained weight, and then the other person said that you are as fat as a pig.

For example, you just made slow progress, and then the other party said you were stupid.

For example, you are indeed short, and then the other person calls you disabled.

Wait, etc.

Their "straightness" involves a subjective personality attack, rather than an objective presentation of facts, so we cannot feel them. good intentions, so they are not straightforward, but uncultivated and impolite.

4

Always a little cursed.

Little S has a very beautiful saying: Being yourself and being rude are two different things.

When I was scrolling through Weibo and saw the Super Girl auditions, Ke Yimin was a judge. In one of the videos, an 18-year-old contestant had just finished the introduction and said that he had a cold. Ke Yimin immediately answered and said sternly: "Stop singing, get out!" The girl on the stage was obviously stunned for a moment, and the atmosphere was very awkward.

This kind of "outspokenness" for the sake of sensationalism may win the public's attention for a while, but what is the result? In the end, Mango asked Ke Yimin to "step down". Ke Yimin could not withstand the pressure of public opinion and apologized on Weibo. It is said that she recently attended an event and even changed her name. What is Ke Meiyi? After changing her name, Don’t recognize you?

If you go too far, you will be the one who suffers in turn, and the gain outweighs the loss.

So, don’t be an outspoken and aggressive person.

There is a saying that goes well, your joys and sorrows, your love and hate If long-term love has to be expressed in a picky and fierce way, it is not perfect, but pretentious, nor noble, but shallow.

No matter what advice he gives you or what opinions he expresses, you can readily accept it.

Third-rate people speak with their mouths, second-rate people speak with their brains, and first-rate people always speak with their hearts!

A kind word can warm you up in three winters, but a bad word can hurt you in six months. If you can't stay away from this kind of person, I hope you keep your original intention.