Ask for English jokes or love stories

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs.

"Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite? "

"Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?"

Let me write it down.

An elephant said to a mouse, "There is no doubt that you are the smallest and most useless thing I have ever seen."

"Please say that again. Let me take it off. " Said the mouse. "I will tell a flea what I know."

Do you know my job?

One night, a hotel caught fire and the people living in it ran out in their pajamas.

Two men stood outside watching the fire.

"Before I came out," said one, "I ran into some rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think about money when they are afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in the fire, the fire will burn it. So I took all the money I could find. No one will become poorer because I took them. "

"You don't know my job," said another.

"What's your job?"

"I am a policeman.

"Oh!" The first man shouted. He had a brainwave and said, "Do you know what I do?" "No," said the policeman.

"I am a writer. I always talk about things that have never happened. "

A conductor was about to signal the train to start when he saw a beautiful girl standing by an open door on the platform, talking to another beautiful girl in the carriage.

"Come on, miss!" He shouted. "Please close the door!"

"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she replied.

"Please close the door," the guard shouted. "I'll take care of the rest."

A man was stopped because he was driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving well.

Policeman: You were speeding.

M: No, I didn't.

Officer: Yes, you are. I will give you a ticket.

Man: But I wasn't speeding.

Police officer: Tell it to the judge! The policeman gave the ticket to the man. )

Man: If I call you an asshole, will I get another ticket?

Officer: Yes, you will.

What if I just think you are?

Officer: I can't give you a ticket because of your idea.

Man: Well, I think you are an asshole!

6. Teacher: Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner near the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go Slow".

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