Joke about the satellite

Mom said my IQ was only 76. I don't know how high my IQ is All I know is that I'm a

A very lethal person, many people were hurt because of me, some lost hope in life, and some even committed suicide.

So I have always suspected that I have a potential superpower, and I don't know why this superpower will attack my teacher.

Use a particularly strong one.

I remember the first teacher who died because of me. At that time, I was in the first grade of primary school, and my teacher took me.

The children went to the wild for a nature practice class. Seeing the spring breeze blowing green and the willows sprouting branches, the teacher couldn't help thinking of a problem, so he asked, "Classmate.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you know how to tell the wind direction? "I know! "A little girl in my class answered and picked up a tree from the ground.

Ye threw it into the air. "Pick up a thing and throw it into the air. Just watch it float there. " "Well, that's good." Teacher's watch

Yang said, "Who else would like to show you again and see what wind is blowing now?" "me." I went voluntarily.

Come out, pick up half a brick from the ground and throw it into the air. ......

"Teacher, it's blowing up and down!" ............。

I can't remember clearly what the teacher looked like at that time. I only remember that he struggled a few times and then died.

Passed away.

Later, according to the hospital doctor, he was suddenly stimulated strongly, leading to retrograde qi and blood.

Go to hell. In this way, I killed a people's teacher

The first grade teacher taught us poultry and animals.

Teacher: "There is an animal with two feet. Every morning when the sun comes out, it will wake you up, and "

What animal was it before getting up? "

I replied, "Mom!" Laughing so hard that the teacher almost died!

When I got home from the mid-term exam, my mother asked me how I did in the exam. My baby son said, I just didn't fill in a question.

Mom asked what the question was, dear. My son said there was a question about how much three times seven got. I don't care. I filled in 15.

My mother sprayed the water she just drank on my father's face. Hey ... I'm great!

My father asked me how school was. Dear son, "the father asked," is your female teacher satisfied with you? "

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied."

"How do you know? Did she tell you herself? "

"Of course, dad. She said to me the day before yesterday: If all the students are like you, I will leave school at once.

School! ''

This shows that I have learned everything. "

My father's brain. Now! @#$# @! $%$#@ @

One day in math class, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? , I said I don't know. The teacher asked me to ask. I asked mom, mom.

Cooking, tell me to get out. I asked my father, who watched the ball again and shouted' cool'. I asked my sister, who was singing.

Baby, I asked my brother, and he said on the phone; I'll wait for you outside.

The next day, the teacher asked 1+ 1=? I said; You go out, the teacher slaps me, I scream,

It's useless for the teacher to scold me, but I call me mean. Old saying; Get out. I said; I'll wait for you outside. Our math teacher bled on the spot.

Put pressure on again, faint .....

When primary school has Chinese class, all Chinese teachers in the school go to listen to Teacher Ni's class. Teacher Ni wrote a ""on the blackboard.

The word "Bei" asked me, "Do you know this word?" I answered "no", so Teacher Ni began to inspire me. "

Do you have a bed at home? "I answered" Yes "and" What's on the bed? " "Summer sleeping mat" "Summer sleeping mat"? "

I answered "my mother", and Teacher Ni thought, that's right. My mother covered the quilt, and then she lifted it.

Fa: "What about your mother?" "My dad". Teacher Ni didn't expect me to say this. I am anxious to make a fool of myself in front of so many teachers.

"What about the quilt?" I replied, "The quilt is on the ground." Teacher Ni is angry because of me.

Lamb disease is in the general hospital!

Later, a new teacher at school asked us to make sentences, and I finished my homework calmly. The teacher was impressed with me.

Written sentence

"""sad-the big ditch in front of our house is very sad.

""If canned food is not as nutritious as juice.

""naive-it's really hot today, and it's a good day for swimming.

""ten-my sister only got ten in math, which is a shame.

"Simple-I always start with simple things.

"Ginseng"-the teacher said that we should take part in the relay of the brigade tomorrow, and everyone must try their best.

""The quilt-Xiaoyu's sanitary quilt was stolen.

"""bento-Xiaoming takes defecation as the first thing to get up every morning.

The teacher touched my head and said sternly, "Go home from school and study hard. There are 10. When I got home, I was ready to finish the homework assigned by the substitute teacher when there was no one there. When I went to the toilet, I began to paint the walls with feces. I am very satisfied with my homework. "

Stop. My family came back to scold me. The next day, my mother told the principal that the substitute teacher misunderstood the child. Later, the substitute teacher was fired.

Alas ... I said to myself psychologically, "I am very creative, and ugliness is not my intention." God, don't lose your temper, I will be brave. "

Dare to live and set off the beauty of the world. ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "

One morning in class, I chewed gum and put my feet on the aisle.

At that time, the teacher said to me, "Please spit out what is in your mouth and put your feet in it." My brain: @ $ #% # #

"

In the days after "",several teachers suffered misfortune one after another. Fortunately, no one was killed and there would be no embarrassment.

Here comes the big leak. But my fame spread like wildfire and I became a celebrity in the city for a time.

However, celebrities also have the pain of celebrities, and I deeply realized this.

When I was in junior high school, the physics teacher asked me in physics class: You say, how to change tracks? Me: According to the Diamond Sutra.

""If people do bad things in Yang, they will become ghosts after death! It turned out that the teacher was talking about how the satellite changed its orbit!

I was awakened by the teacher when I was sleeping in history class. The teacher asked me, "Who did Princess Wencheng marry?" Little Wang Sheng told me, "Songzan.

Dry cloth. "

I didn't hear clearly, so I opened my mouth and answered, "Song Dynasty cadres." Later, history failed.

""One day I came back from the barber shop to be cool. As soon as I opened the door, all the girls exclaimed, "Cool Brother is here!" I'm embarrassed to scratch.

Head: "Where! Where! Just a cool hairstyle. "

Just as the headmaster passed by, he solemnly said, "I have to pay for the pants!" " "

"""our brains are coming out! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Yeah, it's nothing. I walked to the dormitory and went downstairs from the girls' dormitory.

I saw a good friend and boasted loudly that, look, I had a cool haircut. On the second floor, a girl immediately put her head out and said, my trouser head,

You picked out my pants! ! ! ! !

The next day, the biology teacher brought a bird wrapped in cloth. Then he showed the bird's leg and asked the students to guess it was one.

What a nice bird. I really don't know, so I handed in a blank sheet of paper.

The teacher looked very angry and asked, "why did you hand in a blank sheet of paper?" What's your name? " When I heard this, I rolled up my trouser legs angrily.

Show your legs and say, "Now it's your turn to guess who I am?" The biology teacher fell down at once.

My fame has caused me a lot of trouble. For the safety of teachers, all middle schools in the city refused.

Take me in. No way, I went to the countryside with infinite yearning for key middle schools. Although the conditions of middle schools in rural areas are a bit bitter,

But without the pressure of public opinion, I still live very comfortably. However, gold always shines, which is the unique silence of rural middle schools.

Didn't suppress my outburst. By chance, I was born again,

""sudden rise and rapid occupation of the rural market.

One day, I was late, and the teacher asked,' Why are you late today? I said, I brought my neighbor here in the morning.

Uncle's wild boar went to breed, so he came late. The teacher opened his eyes wide when he didn't finish listening and said, "This matter should be allowed.

Go find the uncle next door to do it. "I don't understand." It must be a wild boar, and the uncle next door is not a stranger. "

It was a quiz, and our class was tied with another class after the final. So the host announced the most natural.

After the decision: each class draws lots to send a representative. Two representatives will guess the coin again.

The right person asks the wrong person a question. If the wrong person answers correctly, the wrong person wins. On the other hand, guess where the right person is.

The class set wins. Spirit of heaven, spirit of the earth, my job is to hide. I was drawn as a representative and guessed the wrong coin successfully.

Enter the question and answer stage. Teachers and classmates suddenly became nervous, and everyone looked at me with eager eyes. Especially the class teacher Li Lao.

The teacher said nothing with a sullen face.

I also felt some pressure, but not because of this, but because of my opponent, Wang Xiaofo, who was in our school at that time.

The most powerful "teacher killer", he also saved several cases of human life. It is said that the last principal was destroyed by it.

Medium. However, I still have some confidence, because in any case, I am also a person who has criticized. The problem begins.

"Wang Xiaofo put his hands in his pockets and said slowly," My mother cooked some eggs in my pocket today. you

Do you know how many?

""coax! " There was an uproar around. I don't know why everyone is booing, but I know this question has aroused my great interest. chicken (as food)

Eggs! I hardly heard what he asked. I only heard the word "egg" clearly. You know, years of hard life in the country.

There is hardly anything to eat these days. There are two eggs, which are really delicious. I seem to see shiny egg whites and yellow tender.

Tender egg yolk.

"If I get it right, will you give me a meal?" I have long forgotten what quizzes and class honors are. I'm only interested

It's eggs Eggs! "If you get it right, I'll give you two eggs."

"Hey!" There is an uproar again. I saw the other classmate's face startled, while my classmates cheered and hugged each other.

Celebrate the victory,

Miss Li also gave me a happy look. I don't know what they are happy about, but everyone is smiling at me, and so am I.

Smiled shyly at them, and then answered, "Is it five?"

The students' smiles suddenly stopped, and gradually, the low tide generally disappeared without a trace. Another classmate suddenly grew up.

Laugh out loud Things in this world are changing rapidly. In a blink of an eye, everyone is crying and laughing, laughing and crying.

I don't know what to do when I cry and laugh. I haven't had time to think about what is going on. The meeting was suddenly in chaos.

Get up. I saw a man lying on his back, spraying blood in his mouth, and then slowly fell down.

"""Miss Li!"

"""Miss Li!"

》 》》

""It's our head teacher! I rushed there, too. I saw the teacher pale, eyes closed and unconscious.

"""He killed Miss Li!"

"""It's him!"

"""It's him!"

""hey!

""hey!

""hey! Hey! Swish swish swish swish swish! ! !

""bundles of angry eyes shot at me like sharp arrows.

"My eyes went blank, and a voice echoed in my ear:" Duo Long! Close the door! Let the dog go! Everyone else is equal.

Step back. "

"""even personal modification,-later, it is said that Mr. Li didn't die, but was seriously ill. After he left the hospital, he saw red.

Chen, who cut his hair, became a monk in Wutai Mountain and never taught again. Later, he developed a complete set of Dafa and invented theory X. .