Who has a classic joke? Tell me!

1 Xiaoming and Xiaohua go to the zoo to play. When they entered the door, Xiao Ming pointed to Xiaohua and said to the doorman, "Look clearly! Come out later, don't say I stole your monkey! "

A student went to see a doctor. After examination, the doctor said, "Never mind, just an injection." The doctor wiped the students' arms with cotton wool three or four times. Thinking that he was seriously ill, the student asked anxiously, "Doctor, is the problem serious?" The doctor said seriously, "classmate, it's time for you to take a bath."

The commander ordered everyone to report to the opposite mountain.

The first person is late. He said, report to the captain! I ride a bike, and my bike is broken. I changed my car and it broke down. I rode a horse and it died. I'm leaving!

The second person was late, too. He said, report to the captain! I ride a bike, and my bike is broken. I changed my car and it broke down. I rode a horse and it died. I'm leaving!

The third man was late, too. He said, Report to the captain! I ride a bike, and my bike is broken. I changed my car and it broke down. I rode a horse and it died. I'm leaving!

The fourth man came up and said, report to the captain! I ride a bike. My bike is broken. I change trains. ...

Before he finished, the commander shouted loudly, "Don't tell me that the car is broken and you ride a horse. Come here if the horse dies!" "

The fourth person who was late said, report to the captain! No, there are too many dead horses on the road to drive. ...

In order to prove that spiders' hearing is on their feet, a university graduate student did the following comparative experiments:

1: College students put a spider on the experimental platform, and then shouted at the spider, and the spider scared away!

2. Say that finish, college students caught the poor spider back, put it on the experimental platform, and cut off all the spider's feet!

He yelled at the spider again, and the spider stopped moving! This proves that the spider's hearing is on the foot!

One day, Xiaoming came to visit his future mother-in-law. Mother-in-law: "Sit anywhere, the food is almost ready!" " "Then I went into the kitchen and began to get busy. At this time, only nervous Xiao Ming and his mother-in-law's dog Xiao Bai were left in the living room. Suddenly, Xiao Ming found a sharp pain in his stomach. He thought, no! I must hold back! But he couldn't help it, poof! He farted invincible, and he thought, this is a dead man, and he will be driven out! Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law just shouted "Little White!" Xiao Ming thought with relief: fortunately, Xiao Bai was my scapegoat, and then he couldn't help but fart for the second time. My mother-in-law is still shouting: "Xiao Bai!" "When I farted for the third time, I saw my mother-in-law rushing out and shouting," Little White! You don't want to run until you stink, do you? ! "

One morning, firecrackers sounded and I don't know who opened a small cinema. On the first day, a movie was shown. The advertisement read "The Story of Seven Men and One Woman" with a caption: A beautiful woman fainted for no reason, and seven men were forcibly dragged into the forest; Waiting for the beauty ... everyone felt very attractive and bought tickets one by one. When the movie was shown, Snow White appeared on the big screen, and everyone left in a rage.

The next day, everyone passed by the small cinema again and saw that the advertisement had changed. The advertisement tells the story of seven men and one woman, and explains that it is like the ecstasy of a beautiful boys and seven men for several days (by no means Snow White). This time, everyone felt more attractive than last time, and it was not Snow White, so they bought tickets to enter. As a result, the words "Eight Immortals Crossing the Sea" appeared on the big screen! ! !