What are the most classic dialogues in the drama Earl of Wulong Mountain?

The Earl of Wulong Mountain, as a classic comedy stage play of Twist Drama Club, has been staged for nearly 500 times, which is a great achievement for the present stage play in China. Young lines, funny baggage, for the current audience is doing more conscience, many viewers were deeply shocked by the lines after watching the Earl of Wulong Mountain, including a paragraph:

Sister-in-law K: So, you are the mistress between Brother K and me! Sister k was angry and pointed the gun at the kneeling on the ground. Thank you.

Thank you for saying with great fear: You can call me the second son, but you can never call me the third son. I'm not sad about brother K's death, but I feel sorry for you. I even thought about living with you in the future. How I want to put Brother K's body on the bed, between us. No matter which of us puts our legs on him, we will feel a little cold. I have fantasized about your appearance countless times, but today I saw that my fantasy was defeated by your appearance.

Your eyes are like a clear spring,

I really want to stand on the tip of your nose and dive in.

Oh, yes, I can't water it.

Oh, no, don't save me, let me drown in your clear eyes,

Oh no, help me help me, I don't want my body to cover your eyes.

Shoot me. I love you. . . .

Gangster B: Brother K never takes drugs, and he likes drinking best. He never mentioned me in front of his friends, not a word, you know? Even brother k never told me those three words. You are responsible for those three words! ! !

Thank you: I love you, I love you, I love you …

(Thank you for turning your head and looking at the priest hesitantly. The priest leans over and picks up the urn.) Your second uncle still remembers that today is your 30th birthday. Before he died, he told me (the priest handed the urn to thank you) that he must give you his urn as a birthday present on your birthday (thank you for taking the urn, and the priest leaned over and applauded). Happy birthday! ? Your second uncle's last wish is to be buried on the Wulong Mountain behind you. Come on, plant the tree of life with the child's shovel (the cemetery salesman takes out the shovel and the small tree under the table).

Thank you: wait a minute. Does planting trees cost money?

Cemetery salesman: 4444 yuan. This tree symbolizes the rebirth of life.

Thank you: Yes, people should be born again when they die. But you said to plant trees on the ashes of the net. Do you think it is appropriate? Will you be reborn as a vegetable in the future? Or vegetables vs zombies?

Father: (Father pats thank you on the left shoulder) Where do the fallen leaves go, son (za), you will fulfill the wishes of the deceased!

Thank you: (Thank you for holding the urn for free) It's not that I'm not round. A broken grave costs 40 thousand, so I can't let people live?

Graveyard salesman: (Thank you, graveyard salesman) The living don't live in graves (da), so the price of graves is expensive (da).

(The seller of the cemetery leads Xie to the table and takes out the pointer) Come, let me introduce you. Well, it's a set of board graves with north-south permeability, which is very suitable for the elderly. The kitchen and bathroom are dull all the year round, leaking in winter and frosting in summer. The surname is Shang downstairs and Zhang next door. ? (Put away the stick) Well (Ann) ~ We still have good news now. If you can buy the tomb in full, we will also give you a coffin. I wonder if you prefer flip or slide?

Thank you: Do you have a touch screen?

Cemetery salesman: I studied it and stopped production.

Father: Why?

Cemetery salesman: (looking back) No one pressed it.

Thank you: sir, I got back the million dollars you gave me, but I spent it all in one day. I spent 0.2 million/200 thousand to buy you the most decent grave, and I secretly sent the remaining 800 thousand to brother K's wife, who was in the trend of robbing banks at that time ... (hawker peddling, omitted) How about it, sir? That's enough fun. I bought you all the graves.

The seemingly romantic lines are full of poetry, but they are really the lines that the protagonist thanked for saving himself when the bandits tried to shoot him. The nonsense spoof reflects the real problem in a certain sense. A good work needs no explanation. I hope you can go and see the Earl of Wulong Mountain Scenic Resort by Mahua FunAge.