Laugh till your stomach hurts.

1. When my parents were young, they owed a lot of money to others and always told them, "We will pay you back twice in the future." Later, they gave birth to me and named me Shuang.

2. I am a woman, and I came to the earth only to survive: poverty.

If you feel tired like a dog all day. You really misunderstood. Dogs are not as tired as you.

Don't ask me for money. We are all of the same age. If you have no money, can you give it to me?

If life deceives you, don't be sad or impatient, because life will not only deceive you, but even beat you up next.

6. Cherish every selfie of a girl and praise her anyway. After all, it takes at least an hour or two from shampoo and makeup to filming, which is too hard.

7. People fall in love by looks, by romance and by burning money. On the other hand, I am blind.

8. I am different from others. I don't need money to solve anything that can be solved with money, because I have no money.

Wife: I gave a blind man 100 yuan in the street today. Husband: Nowadays, fake blind people deceive many people. Wife: He said I was beautiful! Husband: Then he is really blind!

Even if the whole world thinks you are ugly, it doesn't matter. As long as you think you are beautiful enough, you are shameless.

1 1. Going to school means watching different flavors of sleeping pills walk around in front of your eyes every day. There is always one that can make you sleep soundly!

When one or two people say I'm ugly, I don't think so, but when more and more people say I'm ugly, I know the seriousness of the matter: now there are more and more liars.

13. Women usually live longer than men. In the final analysis, there is only one reason: women do not need to live with women!

14. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money. ...

15. If marriage is the grave of love, then blind date is to look at feng shui to give the grave, confession is to dig the grave, marriage is double suicide, empathy is to move the grave, and the third party is to rob the grave.

15. Stop complaining that you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. You can't find a right one of the four options in the exam, let alone1400 million options!

17. When quarreling with your boyfriend, don't blame him in a hurry, but reflect on yourself first. If you are really wrong, think about how to pass it on to him.

18. Although my salary is not high, I am good at saving money. When you see something you like, you can always bite your teeth and hold back from buying it. For example, I just took a fancy to a helicopter, and then I thought it was cost-effective to squeeze the bus, saving tens of millions.

19. Some people are just not satisfied. They already have double chins and want double eyelids.

Twenty. I quarreled with my girlfriend today. My girlfriend spit all over my face. I touched it habitually! Girlfriend: Don't you like me? Me: No, I just want to touch it evenly.

Twenty one. My wife thought I betrayed her and said to me, "Bastard, I didn't expect you to be such a person." I quickly explained, "there must be a mistake. How can I be both an animal and a human being? "

22. I always think that money can buy everything. But after much experience, I gradually found that the money was not enough!

Twenty-three From today on, as long as they are my friends, anyone who has no money will reply to me, and I can tell you how I live without money.

Twenty-four Just got home, my wife whispered, "Are you tired when you come back?" Me: "A little tired." She asked again, "Are you hungry?" Me: "I'm starving!" The wife said softly, "Then take a rest and cook quickly!" " "