Funny script of campus sketch

The script is mainly composed of lines and stage descriptions, which is the text basis of dramatic art creation and the basis of the performance of directors and actors. The following is a complete set of funny scripts about campus sketches that I have carefully arranged. Welcome everyone to learn and refer, I hope it will help you.

Campus sketch funny script 1 scene: classroom, desks and chairs, books, pen and paper, dice, mobile phone.

Four people are sitting in their seats reading. Tan Wan puts the book on the table, lying down and reading carefully. Hu Lijing chats online on her mobile phone.

Zhao Chao: (putting down the book) Hey, you two are acting. I'm afraid we'll still fail this make-up exam! Hey, hey! (to himself) Are these three people straight, study hard and make progress every day? No way! Absolutely impossible! If the three of them can learn, ostriches can fly in the sky, toads can chase swans, Xifeng can shut up, and Nicholas Tse can fall in love with Guo Meimei!

Hu Lijing: (Looking up at Zhao Chao) Hey, it's a mess here. Hey, your mouth is a southern vegetable!

Zhao Chao: What do you mean?

Hu Lijing: Bamboo shoots (damage)!

Zhao Chao: Fuck you!

Zhao Chao stood up, went to Liu Hao's desk and grabbed the books in the textbook.

Zhao Chao: Duke of Lushan? I said, why are you so obsessed?

Liu Hao: Give it back! I'm looking at the key places, give it to me quickly, the exam is coming soon, and there's no time! (Grab the book and continue reading)

Zhao Chao: What's the point of seeing the duke of mount deer? Let's watch Zhu Xian!

Liu Hao: What do you know? This is a history exam. I think the duke of mount deer is just studying history.

Zhao Chao came to Tan Wan's desk and gently took the textbook on the desk. Tan Wan is lying on the table, fast asleep.

Zhao Chao: (to himself) What a pig! Why is this guy so broad-minded He's catching up with me! (Knocking on the table) Wake up, your mother asked you to eat!

Tan Wan: (suddenly sitting up) Where? Where is my mother?

Zhao Chao: (surprised) I *! Are you sleepwalking? What a surprise!

Tan Wan: (patting Zhao Chao on the head) Tell your children to delay my old man's sleep!

Zhao Chao: How can you sleep in broad daylight?

Tan Wan: Even the ancients knew the benefits of sleeping during the day, didn't you? What a fool!

Zhao Chao: The ancients? What did the ancients say?

Tan Wan: Lao Tzu said: I can sleep, very much. Confucius said: if you don't sleep during the day, the game will collapse. Sun Tzu said that both of them were right.

Hu Lijing: Hahahaha, old cherry meatball, you are a liar!

Zhao Chao: What a mess! Did you play games again last night?

Tan Wan: I reached level 60 in one breath! Am I good?

Zhao Chao: Great! How much is it altogether?

Tan Wan: More than 80,000 levels!

Hu Lijing: Cherry Maruko, you are so funny!

Tan Wan: (staring at Hu) Don't call me by my nickname, you fox! (Turning to Zhao Chao) Didn't you read a book?

Zhao Chao: It's too late to see the answer now! Who can remember so much? Alas, I'm sure I'll fail the make-up exam again!

Tan Wan: You can't remember, which means you have a bad memory, or you can't forget it at all? (Stand up, go to Liu Hao's desk and grab the novel) Stop reading!

Zhao Chao: Come on, haven't you heard? You forget everything with "I can't forget"!

Tan Wan: Then take melatonin!

Zhao Chao: You become brain-dead after taking melatonin!

Liu Hao: Ha, ha, ha, I said, you two should be practical and don't pack up those useless things!

Tan Wan: Let's discuss it. What about the exam in the future?

Hu Lijing: Exactly! This is the right way! Think about it, how can I pass the exam?

Zhao Chao: After a while, when the teacher invigilated, you attracted the teacher's attention, so I turned to the book and copied the answers! Then, I'll send you the answer!

Liu Hao: Can you find the answer by consulting these books? Why don't I do it?

Zhao Chao: Look, don't copy it wrong, and then copy it to the duke of mount deer!

Tan Wan: All right, just you. Don't forget to fly me a paper ball!

Zhao Chao: No problem!

Hu Lijing: I don't need you to give me a flying paper ball. My mobile QQ is online. Just send me the answer directly!

Zhao Chao: OK!

Liu Hao: OK, then show me the roll paper!

Zhao Chao: Don't worry, our front and rear seats are very convenient!

The exam bell rang and four people sat down. Teacher Wang came on stage.

Miss Wang: The exam has been going on for several days. Look, these four people are having a good time reviewing. Give them a make-up exam today, and I don't know if I can get in.

Teacher Wang came into the classroom with a roll of paper in his hand.

Miss Wang: Now the exam begins. Please put away all unnecessary books!

Four-man operation.

Teacher Wang handed out rolls of paper.

Several people bowed their heads and thought hard about the answer sheet, and Mr. Wang walked back and forth to invigilate. Zhao Chao secretly opened the book, looking for the answer, and from time to time wrote it down on paper.

Miss Wang: Only four of you failed in the last exam. How many points did you give this class? Don't you know blushing? You don't know how to improve? Don't you know how to study hard?

Tan Wan: Miss Wang, I also want to work hard, but I feel sleepy when reading, and I can fall asleep after reading for a while!

Miss Wang: If you say so, you have to prepare a bed in the classroom for reading.

Liu Hao: Yes! Miss Wang, don't listen to him, he's just making excuses! If I were you, I would find a crack in the ground!

Tan Wan: Go! Roll as far as you can!

Miss Wang: Liu Hao, don't talk about Tan Wan, you are not so good either! Watching you all day. You don't say anything, and you don't know what's going on in your head.

Liu Hao: I think about things every day.

Miss Wang: Thinking? Thinking about what problem?

Liu Hao: (sighs) The current international situation is complicated and changeable. For national development, social progress, national rejuvenation, the rise of China and human reproduction. ...

Miss Wang: Stop, stop, stop. Do you think it's Jesus or God? Can you consider these questions?

Hu Lijing: Exactly! Don't ask where no one is, what are you!

Liu Hao: Gaddafi once said that everyone is responsible for the rise and fall of the world! The current international situation is so severe that I can't rest assured!

Tan Wan: Miss Wang, look how much he pretends! Besides, every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world, didn't Gaddafi say that?

Hu Lijing: Yes, really uneducated! Old Maruko, tell him who said this!

Liu Hao: He can know?

Tan Wan: I don't know such a simple question. I blush for you! I'm telling you, remember, everyone is responsible for the rise and fall of the world, not Gaddafi at all.

Hu Lijing: Hey!

Tan Wan: Saddam said it!

Miss Wang: Nonsense! Every man is responsible for the rise and fall of the world, that's what Gu said!

Liu Hao: I didn't believe Gaddafi would say that from the beginning. Why didn't you say it was bin Laden?

Scene 2: In the classroom, there are five desks and five classmates.

Teacher: Class is over!

Monitor: (Girl) Stand up!

Five people: goodbye, teacher!

Teacher: Goodbye, class! (going out)

Monitor: You play, but you can't make trouble in class. I'll find the class teacher!

Four people: Yes, sir!

Monitor: (Go out)

Four people: (Sit down)

Lin Jie: (Girl, with a long yawn) Oh, my God, I'm so sleepy, go to sleep! (asleep)

Dai Yu: (Girl, take out the test paper and do it)

Food: (Boys, fat people, take out a convenient bag of snacks, drinks, etc. I only love western food, but I can't have both. I have enough food! (eat)

Nerd: OK, you robbed the supermarket and still had so much food?

Gourmet: What supermarket did I rob? It's almost a month, and 800 yuan hasn't been spent yet!

Nerd: Can you study besides eating every day?

Gourmet: Forget it, don't bother me, I'm finished, and I have to sleep! You can only learn after a good sleep, and then you can go to college!

Nerd: (pointing to two people) Still sleeping? Alas, the heart is higher than the sky, people are lazier than pigs, pigs are shameful, and pigs are shameful than wow!

Gourmet: What are you talking about, bookworm? Let me know if you are greedy, and give you a chicken claw to block your mouth! (Want to throw)

Nerd: (declined) Well, don't give it to me. I'm afraid of eating pig brain. I'd better write a paper.

Gourmet: OK, OK, future mathematician, me, future gourmet, I won't bother you. You do your paper, and I'll eat my paw.

Monitor: (comes in with a grade book in his hand) Don't sleep, slacker, get up and get wet!

Nerd: Wow, monitor, did you get the score? Let me see how I look.

Monitor: What's your hurry, nerd? You are the first. I really convinced you!

Nerd: Of course!

Gourmet: monitor, what about me?

Monitor: You are the first!

Gourmet: No way, isn't nerd the first?

Monitor: He is the first in the class, and you are the first in the year group.

Gourmet: Is it true? The sun rises in the west?

Monitor: Of course it's countdown!

Gourmet: Oh, ah, countdown wow?

Lin Jie: What do you think? You just eat and sleep all day, and the pigs are sick when they see you. How nice to be last!

Gourmet: You! Ok, let's count down, as long as it is the first, it is not easy. This is also the result of my painstaking efforts.

Dai Yu: Let me see the list! (From the monitor) (Four people look at the list and point to it)

Gourmet: (picks up the phone) Hey hey! Hello, mom!

Mommy: (with a mobile phone in one hand and steamed bread and green onions in the other. Chewing steamed bread in your mouth) Hey, did you take the exam?

Gourmet: Ah, I passed the exam!

Mommy: How was the exam?

Gourmet: Mommy, I did well in the exam!

Four people: (making faces) Oh-

Gourmet: (grimacing) Go! What? Ah, math? That monitor, how much do I do in math? (Cover your phone) Keep your voice down-

Monitor: 19 points-

Food: 19-

Mommy: What? 19!

Gourmet: Oh-yes, 19 people took the exam, and I took 9 1! Ah, yes, progress, progress, the teacher said I made great progress! (Bite the chicken's paw hard)

Mommy: Hey, good boy, it's really mommy's big baby! (Bite the steamed bread hard, rub the onion on your pants twice and take a bite)

Four people: (looking at the gourmet) Wow, how dare you make this up!

Mommy: How about Chinese food?

Gourmet: monitor, what about Chinese food?

Monitor: Chinese-(look at the list) Chinese 32 points!

Gourmet: Mommy, 92 points in Chinese!

Four people: (looking at each other) Huh? !

Mommy: What, what, foreign languages!

Gourmet: What foreign language? That's English!

Mommy: What kind of English is that? Come on, what's the score?

Gourmet: monitor, how is my English?

Monitor: English 12!

Food: (covering the phone) Oh, monitor, you are my aunt. Can you stop hitting me? Mommy, English 1 12!

Mommy: What? Why so little? I thought you were 58 years old!

Gourmet: Mommy, I'm 1 12!

Mommy: I know, it's too little. The next one must be more than 60 points!

Gourmet: Hmm-well, 60 is 60! Mom, you are really the best mother in the world!

Mommy: Son, don't fill your mother with ecstasy soup. Come on, what do you want?

Gourmet: Mommy, you are really worried about me. You say you are so young and beautiful, why are you so forgetful?

Mommy: What did I forget?

Gourmet: Didn't you say that I got a prize for improving my exam results? Do you really forget!

Four people: Wow, your boy is black enough!

Gourmet: Don't interrupt. My mother is rich. Who will she send me flowers for?

Lin Jie: But your grades are fake!

Gourmet: Don't talk about me, you often sleep, too!

Lin Jie: But I got good grades! I'm tired of studying,

Gourmet: I am also a student with learning difficulties. You too!

Dai Yu: It's too noisy. People can't learn well!

Mommy: Son, how many points do you always improve?

Gourmet: six subjects plus one piece increases by 250! Mommy, you should reward me 500 yuan!

Mom: but son, mom doesn't have that much money? Now mommy has 70 yuan in her hand, which she earned after working all day yesterday!

Gourmet: too small for mommy. Other children's pocket money is more than mine. I'm in the learning stage now. The doctor said that you should take more supplements to replenish your brain in order to study hard, but that's too expensive, Mommy. A box costs thousands of dollars. I can't afford it. I just have a snack and buy some study materials. Mom, in Class Two, Grade Nine, I spend the least money!

Dai Yu: Wow, I'm so touched. This is bullshit!

Mom: Come on, son, don't say anything. Mom will give you all the money! (Hang up) My son is promising, my son is making progress, and my son knows how to learn! Isn't it money? But where can we make money here? Where are you going? -Ah, yes, just selling some blood! Yes! (below)

Gourmet: Look, I'm going to get the money again!

Nerd: Big Brother, I really admire your shameless spirit.

Dai Yu: Pongo, I really admire your ruthlessness, especially your mother!

Lin Jie: This is the real hero, with the heroic spirit of putting righteousness above family loyalty!

Monitor: It seems that your family is really rich. Learn more when you have time. Don't lie to your mother!

Gourmet: What's wrong with me? I didn't cheat you out of money!

Mommy: (staggers up and bites the steamed bread) This man's blood is very valuable. He sold 800 yuan for two generations. Doctors also talk nonsense and make it up. What can I make up for? Just eat two steamed buns. I have to send money to my son quickly! (Running out of the window and going in)

Nerd: Fatty, you passed the whole school exam. Finally, you should stop lying to your mother. Your brain is broken. It's time to eat less snacks and study more!

Gourmet: worry about eating radish!

Mommy: (to herself) What, the whole school is last!

Monitor: The nerd is right, fatty. Your family's money was not blown by the wind. Save it and learn more when you have time!

Lin Jie: I said fatty, save your snacks, keep a low profile and don't eat your parents like the enemy! Don't forget, your grades are sorry for your parents! If I were your parents, I would kick you!

Gourmet: That's enough. Don't come at me. I am willing to take the exam. I want my mother's money, but it's not yours. The railway police hijacked the plane-none of your business! Don't blame me for talking again! (intense)

Lin Jie: You're welcome. What else can I do? (dissatisfied)

Mommy: (rushing in) Son, is your grade fake?

Gourmet: Mom, what are you doing here?

Mommy: I'll send you money. I've made money!

Gourmet: Really? Give it to me!

Lin Jie: Aunt, don't give him money yet. You will be cheated by him. Look, (takes out the food bag) This is your son's. He knows how to eat well in one day and doesn't study at all!

Dai Yu: Yes, Aunt, his grades are fake, too. Look, this is the report card!

Mommy: (looking at the report card) Son, you, you, I will send you money. So you are really lying to me. You, you really piss me off! I am so angry! -(fainting)

Monitor: Take Aunt to the hospital quickly!

Four people: hey (holding mom down)

Gourmet: Ah, mom-mom-you can't die. If you die, who will send me money?

(Run Down, End)